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Old 04-06-2008, 11:32 PM   #1
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My dad had a serious talk with me, and we don't talk too terribly much. What it came down to was, he is really disappointed in me for working full time during my senior year of high school and not hanging out with friends anymore. He said I am too concerned about money, and he said how he quit his job at pepsi for us so he could spend more time with us. And asked me when was the last time that we hung out. Said I was so angry all the time from being stressed and working too much. And told me I should stop being so concerned with money and my car and focus on friendships and having fun. Then after he went into his bedroom with my step mom, I could hear they were having an argument about it (not yelling, but a bit frustrated) and his exact words were "he has a girlfriend now, and look, he isn't even taking care of her." Which has to do with the fact that she ruined my spring break and I haven't talked to her since. And she was practically part of the family. I feel kind of bad inside, I have disappointed my dad. I want to continue with my miata project though, because at the pace I am going it will be fully turboed and engine rebuilt by june. I feel emotionless anymore, and have given up on people, I pretty much keep to myself and focus on success at work and school. But after my girlfriend ruined my spring break I have pretty much isolated her too. I feel bad without her and having my dad disappointed in me though. I feel a hole burning in my empty heart.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:38 PM   #2
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Been there done that.

Only word of advice is to try and use ALL of your time. If you are not working/eating/sleeping/doing school work, don't just zone out on the computer or television, try and do things with your family and friends.

I know, I am doing the same thing. I work 35-40hrs a week, and I am taking 16 credit hours worth of classes. I am also trying to get boosted, and I have many friends, a girlfriend, and a loving family.

Also you only have a month of classes left, and you will want to participate in all the graduation stuff, and senior night if you have it. Maybe in those last few days of class, and the first few days of summer take some time off work.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:43 PM   #3
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I never watch tv unless I am with my girlfriend and we both are tired and want to relax. I don't relish in the idea of taking part in graduation ceremony. If my dad wasn't forcing me to go, I wouldn't. I hate school and the way people in it act. I have a 3.61, low due to the fact freshman and sophmore year I slept 3 hours a night, and played video games and soccer non stop. Tore myself up. I don't even want to be around my girlfriend now, and my dad is upset with me for not talking to her. I can't really take time off work either since I am a manager and there is only 4 of us. So, I lose all the way around I guess.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:50 PM   #4
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I was the same way in school, but dude, you have to do all the graduation stuff.

I didn't really care to go, but I had a blast. If nothing else take two days off during that time, and I guarantee you will enjoy yourself.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:52 PM   #5
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Alright, I will try it. I will try and spend time with my dad those two days too so he isn't too disappointed in me.
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Old 04-06-2008, 11:53 PM   #6
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your a manager, nice. Im a sr too, but thankfully I dont have it as bad as you. Then again I am out of a job for the time being, which sucks, but it awesome at the same time. I cant really halp you but good luck sorting all of your **** out man.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:01 AM   #7
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in college I made a conscious decision to go all student loans and put all my effort to school and not going insane. I've got like 2000 dollars left to pay off and I'm very glad I went that route. I think I enjoyed my 5 years in college more than just about any other time in my life.

sometimes you just need the freedom to say "i'm goin to the beach tonight" if only to sit there and swing on a swingset and stare at the ocean.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:07 AM   #8
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haha your dad is different than mine. He thinks I should work full time and go to school full time. Do whatever you feel is best. Your dad isnt you.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:13 AM   #9
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I think your dad is right. You have the rest of your life to work. This (and college) is the time in your life where you're supposed to be having fun and building friendships.

Wait till after college to play with and modify cars.
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Old 04-07-2008, 02:33 AM   #10
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You need to have some fun before you blow up and hate the world! I know personally how it feels to not put aside enough time for family and it's not healthy.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:45 AM   #11
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My advice is cut back with work. Yoy will have the next 40-50 years or so to work. When I was a junior in HS (holy **** that was 11 years ago) I wanted a car, so I quit all sports, stopped hanging with friends and got a job so I could get a car. I got the car but when I look back now I feel like I wasted so much time. I should have been much more focused with school, family and friends. If anything why not try to get your Dad involved with building your car. It could be a great bonding experience. I still to this day would love to build a car with my father. Dont worry about the girl friend, if anything just make nice with her and tell her that at this point all you need is for her to be a friend. Life is really short man, slow down and dont try to grow up to fast. Enjoy everyday and never take family for granted.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:12 AM   #12
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I dropped out of band this year because it was going to interfere with my networking class. And since I am going into that field, I felt it was the best option. I quit soccer because I wanted my job so I could have my car. Now that I have had my car for a while, and I have developed my driving skills well, I want to modify it. I use to hang out with friends some when I worked, then it gradually tapered off. Partially due to work, partially due to the girlfriend. Now, I never hang out with friends, and if I do, it is only for a few hours, and make or twice a month, and only with a select few. Since the weather is now now, I will get it all taken care of in my little free time on sundays, so it is nice when I go out after work on friday and saturday nights with a bunch of gear heads who go cruising in north canton. But that is about the extent of it. He gave me the whole growing up and I have the rest of my life to work thing too. I am suppose to change his plugs and wires and oxygen sensor with him this sunday too. His back is getting worse, even though he is only 50, he has degenerative bulging discs, and it kills him to get in my car so he won't anymore. Maybe I could get him to help some with the in-bay engine work though when I through it on end of may early june. My plan was to spend everything on my car up until the end of the summer, then devote all my money to college. So, this is my last summer, as I will probably have a full time networking job soon.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:12 AM   #13
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No one ever laid on their deathbed and thought, "gee, I shoulda worked more so I could have bought more **** for my car".
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:26 AM   #14
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My logic in the matter is that if I can afford it all now, I will have it for years to come, because life is going to cost too much for me to afford it later: college, house, etc. I don't think it is going to be any different though when I start college in the fall, because I have to continue working full time so I can pay for college. My dad is a car salesman now, and my step mom is a manager at acme, but since my dad has to pay $500 a month child support for no reason to my mom, that's another hit out of our household income. And every month is already a struggle, but my dad won't let me help out with the bills. So I just take care of myself, with everything. In no way is he financially responsible for me. And me going to college is pretty much the same situation I am in now. Maybe flopping morning working with evening classes though. I really dislike people. They are all concerned about themselves, most anyway. I can't stand self absorbed, conceited, stupid, ungreatful beings. I work for everything I have, and if someone needs help, I give them a hand with any little free time I have, such as repairing their computers for free, or helping them get something they need, etc. So I don't really care about "fake friends" anymore. I have 2 real friends left, one being my best. 2 other gear heads, and almost not a girlfriend since she has been treating me like crap. I just don't care about waisting my time idling for temporary highs, such as going out to eat, drinking, smoking, movies, etc. My car is something I can keep for years and have fun with daily. I have had this mentality for quite a few years now, but don't know anyone else my age with it. I have never missed a day of work, and attend church every sunday. I drive myself whether my dad goes or not.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:06 PM   #15
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I know how you feel. I had a girlfriend my junior/senior year of high school that screwed me up real good. After her (beginning of senior year) I got into cars and put all my time and money into the miata and my computers. I pretty much ignored girls for a couple of years and hung out with my gearhead friends the most (I still have a few good friends from HS, the one who weren't overdramatic ******). You're right about high school -- most people are self absorbed immature ******. I spent most of high school working for the school district (network admin, etc) and focusing on improving my technology skills. I never went to parties, never did any sports. I say go for what you want and never look back. You know what makes you happy, so work for that. It doesn't really matter what you do so long as you are happy. Things turned out well for me -- I've got my car, I'm engaged to an awesome girl and soon I'll have a bit of financial freedom since I'm switching schools to have more time to work and play.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:25 PM   #16
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I don’t know man. Hate to bust your *****, but I got to say: Sounds like your dad is working hard so that you do not have to. You do it anyway, just to spend the cash on your car. Who is ungrateful now? ... That was just a little provocation. Don’t get pissed.

It is not always so easy to take a step back and look at oneself, but the more rewarding when you do. Ever thought about this: You having little free time = your GF having little time together with you. Same goes for your parents and those friends you said you did not want.

In the end, if you are any healthy in the head at all, you need people. Friends, family, folks, buddies and perhaps even a girlfriend. I know I would never be able to work like I do, create a carrier for myself like I do, without the support of my girl. That is both practical support as well as the more indefinable version. Seriously, make sure you do not end up alone in the garage with that super cool car of yours. It is just not worth it.

Edit: Do I get a gayness award for this post?
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:37 PM   #17
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heh... i decided to take it easy with miata... getting married next summer and need to save up good $30k for the wedding!
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:57 PM   #18
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I always was a little pissed I worked so much when I started college. My dad wouldn't let me get a job in High school. Then I had to help support my families business after he hurt his back. Had two jobs working a total of 50-65hrs a week. And I went to school full time.
Now since he past away with a heart attack at only 53, I cherish the time we had together. And he was right not to let me work. I am so tired of working all the time now. I realize he knew that would be the only time to just be care free and enjoy life with no worries. Listen to your dad he is stearing you right.
If you have enough to just pep the car up with bolt-ons, or turbo it without rebuilding the motor. That is what I would do. Once your get crazy horsepower you will always work on it anyways.

You have the rest of your life to work. Enjoy this time you have. Trust me when it is gone you are going to work all the time.
4 years will fly by way too fast. Don't let the car screw up this time of your life.
And besides Hell YOU HAVE A MIATA! My first car blew smoke like a chimmney!!!!!! LOL
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Old 04-07-2008, 01:53 PM   #19
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My girlfriend isn't one to help working on the car with. She stayed outside for 10 minutes one time. That's about it. Pretty much just someone to relax with. She hasn't been acting right lately. She has major depression, and I have put up with a bunch of crap for a long time (mood swings, indecisiveness, etc), but she now she is just being plain rude by blowing me off. So I don't even want to hang out with her. If there is so reason I can't tackle doing something on my car, I have a few gearhead buddies, but I mainly work on it myself. Just life for me I guess.
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Old 04-07-2008, 02:29 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torkel View Post
I donít know man. Hate to bust your *****, but I got to say: Sounds like your dad is working hard so that you do not have to. You do it anyway, just to spend the cash on your car. Who is ungrateful now? ... That was just a little provocation. Donít get pissed.

It is not always so easy to take a step back and look at oneself, but the more rewarding when you do. Ever thought about this: You having little free time = your GF having little time together with you. Same goes for your parents and those friends you said you did not want.

In the end, if you are any healthy in the head at all, you need people. Friends, family, folks, buddies and perhaps even a girlfriend. I know I would never be able to work like I do, create a carrier for myself like I do, without the support of my girl. That is both practical support as well as the more indefinable version. Seriously, make sure you do not end up alone in the garage with that super cool car of yours. It is just not worth it.

Edit: Do I get a gayness award for this post?

That sums it up bro. Put your future(school) first, Family a strong second, friends/girlfriend third and the car last. Like you said the car will be there, but time, family and friends could dissapear tomorrow.
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