God I'm so glad we don't have these in our dispatch center. But you've made it hilarious. Good job.

This is real life:

https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...1&d=1449753287

I did my annual review... about 5 months late.

But that's ok because I got my raise on time.

I talked about me smoking meats at company functions in my review. I think that was the part my boss cared about the most.

I just submitted mine. I considered writing some witty snark, but instead I do just like every other year and tell them how awesome I am.

Self-evaluation
 

I don't get one. If I don't sell enough volume I am replaced or someone in a non-productive department (like accounting) gets let go.