NO its not a short film because its about my *****

Basically Id like some feedback on these little clips that my friend and I put together. I wont get into the story or anything like that yet. I'd like your honest thoughts and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism based solely on what you see and hear.



Sorry but I cant embed this one as i didnt upload it

 

No ***** no care

 

What's the guy on the ground supposed to be doing? Sick? Covered in blood? Just homeless? That part was a little unclear. And then he died.

 

Wtf is the point in trying to judge something without knowing the thoughts/ideas behind it? Just curious.

 

Not enough *****. Needs more *****.

 

Im death. I killed him.


Because it needs to be clear to everyone else that sees the film what it is or at least if it makes them want to see more. Curlys comments are exactly the feedback we need

 

Reason I'm busting your ***** is cause I can't see vid at work :(

 

Lol jackass

 

The incarnate of death hatin on the kneegrows.

 

Jared, you need to get laid.

 

you offering?

 

I'm topping

 

Keep it up!

 

When I watched the first video I thought maybe he smoked too many rocks. Then I got the whole death thing, and thought his shirt is too clean and people rarely die from a crack OD.

Second vid I could see the blood and figured he was shot.

 

I think it would be cool to have a bit more suspense leading up to the face swipe. Like a steadycam shot of following deaths feet with just audio of the shoe vs ground. And somehow incorporate that with the other cut scenes you took.

 

That sounds very film noir.

This is supposed to be a preview, correct?

The only part that was clear was that the guy dressed in black killed the guy laying down. I was vaguely clear that he could have been death, it was not clear who the guy on the ground was.

 

To long.

 

I seriously do appreciate the feedback guys. All of it is being taken into account for the final teaser.

 

yo loser, when we gonna go shooting? you can make a video of that.

 

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