So it's payday...
 

...and I check my account using the BoA droid app at lunchtime like I always do on payday.

Now today was different as we'd had a Gift Exchange yesterday, which also involved lots of sweets.

(I ended up with a Nerf revolver which I've modded to have 1/2" of spring preload using 4 nickels..."mother fucker slings some darts")


We all got very generous bonuses from our awesome owner, Doc, and I quickly summed up in my head what should hit my account today. Of course I'd already decided last night how to allocate the money. After setting aside another chunk in savings to cover hospital bills next month when the baby comes I stayed up late thinking which combination of parts and tools would get me the furthest along in my projects.

I look down at my phone and the balance is at least $1000 less than I expected.



FINE! I admit...I forgot about taxes...but I'm used to a few (several) hundred dollars being nicked.

This is the first time I've ever had the government step in between my employer and I and cut a full grand off of what is passed. And as I look around at what our government does with the money I'm truly hurt and angered that the money is not at my disposal.



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...bill-1995-.jpg

When I reenlisted in the Army the government took 1/3 of my bonus. Which I think is retarded.

Getting bonus checks is the saddest thing.

I know what the government does with your taxes; I work for the DoD. Thanks for the paycheck, but they could survive on a lot less money.

it doesn't matter how much they take, they'll spend like they have much more regradless.

Tips > Bonuses.

I gave away $13,000,000.00 more tax dollars than I should have last year because of racketeering and or a management team that is hypersensitive to political, now I get to go to court over it and prove that I maintained ethical purity.

tips are supossed to be reported, but everyone knows that you only report 10% of your earnings.

#occupy waiters.

I remember the first time that happened. I knew ahead of time what my (gross) bonus was going to be and decided to treat myself to something I had wanted for years that cost about the same as the bonus.

And then I got the net amount with the ~30% haircut and learned an important lesson about not spending money I didn't have in my hand. ;)

I report tips.

sucker!

Annoy a waiter: pay with a credit card

I always use a credit card, but I always leave tips in cash. The servers at places I frequent aren't making much.

When I was waiting tables in college/grad school, we were required to report 8% of our total sales as tip income. This was what was always reported unless the credit card tips were greater than 8%, in which case that total was reported.

cash bonuses ftw
taxed bonuses ftl

How much will it cost in lobbying to get you to "give" me a cool $1,000,000? I can "start" a company owned by an Alaskan female native if need be to help you "give" out that money. And if you happen to find a van outside your apartment with a key and signed title in it, I would not ask questions.


I just got my bonus check today. I dislike how much the Government takes. I am now trying to figure out how to spend it. Do I pay down school debt, buy car parts, or a down payment on a rape van.

After moving to the US from Canada I was super excited at the low taxes.




It wore off since.

and if I am not mistaken, bonus' are taxed more than regular pay roll, which stinks!!!!

If all those bonuses you guys are getting is causing undo stress just send them to me and I will take one for the "team".

Fucking bastard senators. It's criminal.


No seriously, it's criminal.

Bonuses are indeed taxed at a higher rate. However, you will get a good portion of them back at year's end.

My company pays out bonuses each month based on our performance. If the company profits, we do as well. I think I get clipped for about 37% taxes on the bonus checks.