“Trust me I know what I’m doing. Loose skin or not, you’ll enjoy this.”

“Just remember that I probably nailed Marilyn Monroe at some point or another so pay your respects”

“So I’m thrice you’re age? Awesome.”

“Viagra’s got nothing on me.”

“I’m Hugh Hefner. Yup. Hugh Hefner. So suck it.”

“Statutory Rape Does Not Apply To the Playboy Mansion”

“It’ll be great for your career”

“Dentures will just get in the way”

“If you ever ask to wear my smoking jacket again I will have you murdered.”

“After we’re done here, you’re mine. No, seriously, I own you now.”