gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

Ok gents (and hustler), I need some advice.



My wife has been really nice about it all...and wants me to finish up my car.

When I told her what I wanted to do she pretty much said that I'm an idiot. She said I've put too much time and effort into the Miata to part it out and revert back to stock.

She also doesn't want me to buy her a used car. She's seen my luck with used cars...and she says: "you never know what kind of life it's had." So it seems that even if I can raise the funds I can't really replace the piece of mind her well cared for little Chevy gave her.

I certainly can't afford a new car, I doubt I could even get halfway to a Hyundai Accent.


She told me there is only one thing I can do:

"Study hard and hurry up and graduate, so you can buy me a BMW."



Now, is she really smart and planning to get a new car later instead of a used car now? Or is she waiting to see what I'll do?


We have another vehicle she can use, but it's more expensive to operate (costlier tires, worse mpg, will have to up insurance from rec use to full time comprehensive)...and she's not real keen on it. She knows she'll have to take it every day though since we're not in the spot to replace hers, and my project will now be my daily driver, and I'll have to depend on it.



So....do I keep building...or part it out?


Any and all advice/comments welcome here.

Rafa

iTrader: (22)

Gospeed: sometimes in life one has to do things due to unforeseen events. You're young and things will get better. I have no doubt that you'll have another go at it in the future.

Family always comes first. If your finances are not adding up at this moment; maybe you should part it out. It's not only your wife's car but also your kid's wellbeing you should be thinking about now.

FWIW; it sure sounds like your wife is a trooper and a great partner. You're doing the right thing thinking about her now. She's proven to you that she's thinking about you.

gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

Thanks Rafa.

hustler

iTrader: (6)

If you part it out, wtf are you going to get for sustenance?

It may not be pretty, and people make not think its cool, but I have a $1400 miata that's 6-different colors and ugly. It gets me to work, good mpg, and its shockingly reliable. Oh, and it has a torsen. lol If you're in a pinch, a $1500 miata is the way to go.

icantthink4155

iTrader: (12)

I was very ready to come and thank you for taking a cavalier off the road. Having owned one previously and HATING the car. It was fairly new when I owned it and had several issues. But after seeing that the car was good to you and that she loved it I will keep my cavalier hate under-wraps. With that said, I think that when she does get a car that is high quality she will appreciate the quality that much more. Also be glad that you're ok, I've known people that were in minor accidents in Cavaliers and were seriously hurt.

You stated that you have another car that she would be able to drive. Would you be able to sell that car to get her something she would prefer, or would be more economical? Would it qualify for cash for clunkers?(Is that even still going on?) I know what its like to total a car that was important to my daily life and it sucks, I wish you the best of luck in this situtation and I hope it works out for you and your family.

gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

I'm reverting mine back to stock power-wise. I'd never let go of the Miata completely unless things got really bad.

Besides...I've got to get to school and back.

gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

This car has proven to me that many cheap car reliability issues are likely owner related. There ARE better build quality traits with other vehicles, but cheapskates tend to buy the cheaper cars and TREAT them like a cheap car, making it worse.

This car was just as reliable as any Toyota or Honda I've owned. It didn't have the build quality or drive like one...but she liked it. We also kept good shocks and high quality rubber and brakes on it, so it drove better than new. Those kinds of things make a difference, and most "disposable car" owners don't spring for Pirellis and Michelins, much less KYBs.


We actually got a stinkin' deal on the other vehicle. It was her sister's XTerra, and she was looking to upgrade right about the time our daughter was born. I dipped into my 401k in order to have something a little more secure when all three of us are actually in it. Her family holds on to vehicles, and buys them new. They wouldn't allow us to sell it.

We both despise the idea of using it as a daily since it's not practical for 1 person to occupy that much space, that much ($600/set) tire wear etc. It's also listed as limited use on insurance, and as soon as I take the Cavalier off without listing another daily they will raise the premiums. It really is a limited use vehicle. She seems fine using it daily...but I'm still against the idea.

Also, she drives 75miles daily, and I drive 200. We like to have small DDs.




The other reason I want to replace hers is because I need to -as a man- fix what I have broken.

Even if she's fine letting it go, I myself need to pay the consequence of my actions. I need to go through the actual process, necessary or not, or I'm liable to take my luck for granted and repeat the mistake. I was careless, and should learn to be more careful. I can say I was in an unfortunate spot, wrong place and wrong time or whatever, but ultimately I was responsible for the vehicle...and I didn't bring it home yesterday.

Prospero

Wow I guess it is time for me to share some useless old man advice!

I've been in your shoes before when I did the same thing to my wife's baby. I built her a 311WHP Volvo S70 with coilovers and more. She drove this car for 2 years and was a beast about taking care of "Nadia"... Zaino polish every other weekend, never curbed 18" X 10" HRE wheels... she loved this car more than me!!! So long story short, took the car to a local Mazda dealer to have its value given for a trade on a MS3...for ***** and giggles. Well they ended up destroying the trans and chassis by going over speed-bumps at 40 MPH in front of their building. Sparks...chunks of plastic, red goo was a'leakin! The bastard even curbed the wheels pulling it into the parking space after bitching about the car not liking bumps and it had no value for trade. I pointed out that he f'd my car and had many people in the showroom see what he did... He just destroued my wife's car in front of me and 5 other people! I was yelling and screaming in the showroom when he hit the first of 5 bumps... the GM even came out to see what was going on!

Okay... fast forward to me leaving the lot in a brand new 07 MS3 for a damn great deal! Drove to my office and asked my wife to meet me there for the ride home cuz it was getting late. She walked into our parking garage and she kept looking for her Volvo... happened to walk past the MS3 and she saw HER tags on SOME JAP CAR! Uhhh OOOoooooh!

I paid for the car and was begging for mercy! She cried, I **** you not, for a week and we did not talk very much. She was pissed at me and the dealer. The MS3 was only a reminder of her Volvo and she hated it!

Now we're 2 years down the road... she loves the MS3 and grew into it; but we are also divorced as of last week. She loved her Volvo and wants it back... she even asked me to look for her old car and she'd trade me anything for Nadia back! Arhg..... love.... (for the car)

Alright, so basically what I am saying... nothing willl replace the car that got totalled. You need to do the right thing and buy her a car with no obligation or financial risk. If this means parting your car... maybe not all the way... but sell some parts and get her a $5k ride that will be nice and cheap to operate. Then make her a promise that inside of 3 years you will buy her any car she wants! (It is a test of love; she won't take advantage of you... too much) With any hope she will see that you gave up one of your loves for her and you will come out on top! By her saying to not part your car... she's trying to help you not feel the pain she is feeling from her loss. So go and do what hurts... she will love you more for it! Sacrifice would not be Sacrifice without pain!

Anyhow good luck and cheers,
Matt

Stein

iTrader: (46)

Whoa, you can't just slide a little snippet like that in there and go on with the story. WTH?

l_bader

Gospeed -

Balance what you will gain vs what you will lose by parting out the Miata. If the gain is negligible, balance that with going against her expressed wishes for the car.

Next, figure out how much it is going to cost you (increased insurance, tires, gas, etc) for using the Xterra per month. - This is essentially what your monthly payments are for what you have on hand.

Now compute the potential trade in vs the cost of a new (or certified used) car to establish what you would be looking at for payments. Compare this nnumber against the cost of keeping the Xterra.


- L

ZX-Tex

iTrader: (15)

Man you figure that one out, and you let me know how you did it. I gave up on trying to figure out what my wife *really* wants in that sort of situation.

Despite the unfortunate basis for discussion, this thread is full of win by the way. Great stories, great anecdotes.





Comments by a certain individual with the Southern Honda name excluded. STFU.

Savington

iTrader: (31)

How about trading the XTerra on something like the newest Civic you can afford?

Prospero

Sorry... will tell the story about this later on...

wildfire0310

iTrader: (1)

Really you best bet is to see if it will cost more over 3, 6, 12 months to keep using the Xterra versus like a newer civic, scion, etc. I know you said your wife family doesn't like to sell cars and all that but map out what it going to cost to use the xterra vs selling it/trading it for something smaller and better on gas, tires and insurance.

As for parting out the miata. Use that as a backup/secondary source. If the money from parting the miata, could be use to finish paying off the new car, lower the payments to do-able, or even to cover the cost of say using the xterra for the next year or two then do it.

curly

iTrader: (25)

My guess is he needs the 4x4 or cargo room for one reason or another. But if not, that's a great idea.

r808

iTrader: (7)

Along these lines, it sounds as if she does not want you to part out your car in an act of martyrdom in order to demonstrate how sorry you are for a minimal return. But then, nobody posting on these forums knows her as well as you do.

gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

THERE WILL BE NO PART-OUT!


My wife rocks.





Thanks for all the advice guys. l_bader's comments pretty much hit it on the spot.

We sat down and made a family decision, and there is really no point in me trying to replace her car by parting mine out. Once I removed myself from the situation, and took out all the guilt and other emotions I saw what she was talking about.

1. I've got too much time invested into this build.

2. The actual added expense of her driving the SUV daily is just about equal to a semi-decent used car over two years, or ~$3250. A $3K car might last 2yrs on average, and is simply another vehicle to maintain.

3. We were luckily in a good spot vehicle wise. We had a weekend vehicle which now has to take over daily use. And my semi-daily toy just now has to be reiliable and never down for more than a weekend. We're now pretty much in the same spot as everyone else in the world...depending on what we've got, just now without a parachute. I used our parachute up last week.

4. My wife explained that she has always supported me with this build because she knows it makes me happy. If I part it out and buy another Crapalier (history unknown) it won't make her as happy as she was with her car. Instead of one happy person, and one temporarily heartbroken spouse, we'd both end up unhappy.

5. She told me to let it go or she'd divorce me.


on that note...

Prospero:

Sorry to hear you're getting a divorce. Don't beat yourself up over past transgressions (I'm trying not to...), they aren't ever the cause, just a catalyst for a reaction that was waiting to happen anyhow. I hope you move on well and can find happiness again.




Sav:

A newish Civic was exactly what I wanted for her, but they run a little more than what I'd get from a partout. Since I couldn't put something really dependable in the driveway I was pretty sure I wouldn't do it anyhow (thus a feeler thread). We also can't really sell the Xterra. It was a semi-gift from her family when my daughter was born, and we're not going there.

Since we can't get rid of the (16mpg) beast, and we kind of like it on weekends, my wife just has to get used to using it all the time. I would drive it, but I run 200miles daily, and wouldn't use anything over 4cyl unless it was a Miata with twice that many underhood.



Tex:

Ain't married life grand?

I never know with my wife...her reaction tests look just like her honest expressions. I always react when she's serious about what she says and then later blow right past the warning signs of "I'm saying this....but mean that."

Amazing some of us manage to stay married.




Anyhow...my wife has a lot of common sense, and has forgiven me. She's the kind of gal you partner up with for life, and I'll never regret making that decision...



Expect additions to build thread soon, as well as a write or two.



EDIT:

btw urban...

5 years married....still 5 times in one night

(she had today off)

Bond

iTrader: (6)

Good news!

Your wife sounds like trooper...mad propz to her.

CRXican

iTrader: (2)

good stuff

it's almost always cheaper to keep the car you already have

Techsalvager

I got a 49cc scooter incase something like this happens, its not quick but still gets you around