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-   -   UU-TEE-EFF?? SRSLY?? (English: WTF? Seriously??) (https://www.miataturbo.net/insert-bs-here-4/uu-tee-eff-srsly-english-wtf-seriously-20945/)

elesjuan 05-14-2008 05:15 AM

UU-TEE-EFF?? SRSLY?? (English: WTF? Seriously??)
 
I've got it! Now I see how to make myself millions and millions of dollars!!

Right now I'm sitting in some really crappy hotel in Hays Kansas bored out of my freaking mind. The only thing on TV is late night infomercials, so I'm sure some of you can see where this is going.


I'm going to design, manufacture a prototype, market, and sell some really ghetto crappy and relatively worthless "workout" machine.

First we have the CardioTwister:

http://jugrnot.com/cardio-wtf.jpg

That looks fucking worthless.

Next we have the AbCoaster:

http://jugrnot.com/abcoaster-wtf.jpg

That looks equally worthless..

http://www.asontv.com/fitness/images...ii_250x250.jpg
Ab Rocker-II

http://www.fitnessquest.com/images//...abxlfem500.jpg
Ab Lounge Pro!

Heres what I need:

I need ideas. Something worthless that'll get the fat fuck slobs of this country to believe "Hey, That thing can make me look like a bean pole in six weeks or less!!"
  • Has to be Easily marketable
  • Cheap as fuck to manufacture
  • Outsourcing from China/India?
  • Some way to claim NASA designed and uses it in space
  • Price tag that ends in a $XX9.95
  • EZPayment Plan
  • A personal trainer to claim its the greatest shit since BowFlex
  • Sexy model to use the machine on Camera
  • Really really annoying voiceover guy to talk 159mph on the legal info
  • Some tardedly skinny guy who used to weigh 357 pounds to film using it
  • Three or four Miss Universe Champions in Bikinis to claim they're beefcakes from using my fabulous machine
  • Several doctors to claim my machine cures cancer
  • A really good lawyer to keep myself out of jail for marketing such a worthless piece of shit
  • Some way to integrate several PCPros on the unit
  • A guide on how to get the fucking skunk away from my hotel window!!! ( *^!@#
I totally think this is doable.. If people will buy the above mentioned shit, they'll fucking buy anything. Maybe I'm just really tired and pumped up on Coffee and Mountain Dew... :jerkit:http://smiliesftw.com/x/crackedout2.gif

Rafa 05-14-2008 07:47 AM

So you're bored elesjuan! :giggle:

miatamania 05-14-2008 07:56 AM

Sleep....you need it.

Newbsauce 05-14-2008 08:54 AM

Your excluding the AB Shocker.. that thing that sent electrical impulses to your muscles, which A> did not work, and B> caused serious burns on some people lol.

icantthink4155 05-14-2008 09:31 AM

dude if you can get it to cure cancer as you burn fat and tighten your glutes youll make millions!

Zabac 05-14-2008 09:38 AM

You probably could find a few scientist that would claim such a thing, being overweight puts you at a higher risk of cancer, right? Now you lose weight with "Fat Attack 32" and you are less likely to get cancer.

y8s 05-14-2008 10:13 AM

I'm gonna stick with my invention:

http://www.receptjes.be/pics/bieren/wittekerke.jpg

I call it the "Ab Flabener"

SamS 05-14-2008 01:02 PM

At least this one's fun to watch.


Vashthestampede 05-14-2008 01:13 PM


Originally Posted by SamS (Post 256746)
At least this one's fun to watch.

YES!!! It has to involve titties to keep men watching, and cheap enough that millions of husbands are like...."fuck it, $19.95 for better titties".

I would concentrate on that area of the body. The abs, legs, biceps, shoulders, ass, back, etc have all been done way too many times to be able to market something better than the other 10 million things out there.

Vash-

jsinnard 05-14-2008 01:16 PM

yup.... a whole lot of fun to watch.

Savington 05-14-2008 01:21 PM


Originally Posted by y8s (Post 256646)
I'm gonna stick with my invention:

http://www.receptjes.be/pics/bieren/wittekerke.jpg

I call it the "Ab Flabener"

My belly keg holds more than your six pack :magna:

y8s 05-14-2008 02:17 PM


Originally Posted by SamS (Post 256746)
At least this one's fun to watch.

:jerkit:

i can just have my gf use me instead of that piece of equipment.

elesjuan 05-14-2008 04:26 PM


Originally Posted by y8s (Post 256807)
:jerkit:

i can just have my gf use me instead of that piece of equipment.

I was just going to say... I have something she can stoke instead of that worthless thing. :cool:

Savington 05-14-2008 05:43 PM

I'll work her boobs up and to the center :D


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