UU-TEE-EFF?? SRSLY?? (English: WTF? Seriously??) - Miata Turbo Forum - Boost cars, acquire cats.

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Old 05-14-2008, 06:15 AM   #1
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Default UU-TEE-EFF?? SRSLY?? (English: WTF? Seriously??)

I've got it! Now I see how to make myself millions and millions of dollars!!

Right now I'm sitting in some really crappy hotel in Hays Kansas bored out of my freaking mind. The only thing on TV is late night infomercials, so I'm sure some of you can see where this is going.


I'm going to design, manufacture a prototype, market, and sell some really ghetto crappy and relatively worthless "workout" machine.

First we have the CardioTwister:



That looks ******* worthless.

Next we have the AbCoaster:



That looks equally worthless..


Ab Rocker-II


Ab Lounge Pro!

Heres what I need:

I need ideas. Something worthless that'll get the fat **** slobs of this country to believe "Hey, That thing can make me look like a bean pole in six weeks or less!!"
  • Has to be Easily marketable
  • Cheap as **** to manufacture
  • Outsourcing from China/India?
  • Some way to claim NASA designed and uses it in space
  • Price tag that ends in a $XX9.95
  • EZPayment Plan
  • A personal trainer to claim its the greatest **** since BowFlex
  • Sexy model to use the machine on Camera
  • Really really annoying voiceover guy to talk 159mph on the legal info
  • Some tardedly skinny guy who used to weigh 357 pounds to film using it
  • Three or four Miss Universe Champions in Bikinis to claim they're beefcakes from using my fabulous machine
  • Several doctors to claim my machine cures cancer
  • A really good lawyer to keep myself out of jail for marketing such a worthless piece of ****
  • Some way to integrate several PCPros on the unit
  • A guide on how to get the ******* skunk away from my hotel window!!! ( *^[email protected]#
I totally think this is doable.. If people will buy the above mentioned ****, they'll ******* buy anything. Maybe I'm just really tired and pumped up on Coffee and Mountain Dew...
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Old 05-14-2008, 08:47 AM   #2
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So you're bored elesjuan!
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Old 05-14-2008, 08:56 AM   #3
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Sleep....you need it.
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Old 05-14-2008, 09:54 AM   #4
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Your excluding the AB Shocker.. that thing that sent electrical impulses to your muscles, which A> did not work, and B> caused serious burns on some people lol.
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Old 05-14-2008, 10:31 AM   #5
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dude if you can get it to cure cancer as you burn fat and tighten your glutes youll make millions!
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Old 05-14-2008, 10:38 AM   #6
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You probably could find a few scientist that would claim such a thing, being overweight puts you at a higher risk of cancer, right? Now you lose weight with "Fat Attack 32" and you are less likely to get cancer.
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Old 05-14-2008, 11:13 AM   #7
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I'm gonna stick with my invention:



I call it the "Ab Flabener"
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Old 05-14-2008, 02:02 PM   #8
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At least this one's fun to watch.

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Old 05-14-2008, 02:13 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamS View Post
At least this one's fun to watch.
YES!!! It has to involve ******* to keep men watching, and cheap enough that millions of husbands are like...."**** it, $19.95 for better *******".

I would concentrate on that area of the body. The abs, legs, biceps, shoulders, ***, back, etc have all been done way too many times to be able to market something better than the other 10 million things out there.

Vash-
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Old 05-14-2008, 02:16 PM   #10
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yup.... a whole lot of fun to watch.
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Old 05-14-2008, 02:21 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by y8s View Post
I'm gonna stick with my invention:



I call it the "Ab Flabener"
My belly keg holds more than your six pack
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Old 05-14-2008, 03:17 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamS View Post
At least this one's fun to watch.


i can just have my gf use me instead of that piece of equipment.
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Old 05-14-2008, 05:26 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by y8s View Post


i can just have my gf use me instead of that piece of equipment.
I was just going to say... I have something she can stoke instead of that worthless thing.
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Old 05-14-2008, 06:43 PM   #14
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I'll work her ***** up and to the center
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