So I like to give ol' fairyflower **** as often as possible over the whole 'sawzall incident', but I started thinking about the dumb **** I've done with cars since I started wrenching on them and I thought it might be fun for everybody to just get it out in the open.

I'll start.

Back in '06 or so, I had gotten myself a S5 FC and decided that it just HAD to be turbocharged. Being new to the whole turbo thing, I decided that I could TOTALLY do it on a budget, regardless of what every person on the forum said (what did they know?).

And so, 5 months and a couple thousand dollars later, this monstrosity was born:


Hacked radiator support. SAFC-II, RRFPR, exhaust pipe intercooler tubing, and copious amounts of flux core mig wire and permatex. **** was boss.

What a ******* disaster. The shitty rubber pipe couplers I used to hobble together my IC setup constantly popped off (I never thought about beading the pipes). Oil leaked everywhere from the insane brass pipe fitting clusterfuck that I thought would be be a suitable oil feed, and the drivability was virtually nonexistant. The only marginally fun thing about the car were the ENORMOUS fireballs it shot on downshifts (they were cool at the time, I've since learned the error of my dickish ways )

It came to an end when the rubber fuel line I used to supply oil to the turbo decided to simply burst, killing my already tired second-hand turbo and nearly causing a catastrophic engine fire. I ended up reverting it to NA and selling the car to a good friend of mine, who proceeded to wrap it around a concrete post to avoid killing an old woman who decided to cross in the middle of the street at night.

Lesson learned: If you're going to do it cheap, spend the money where it counts (and listen when people tell you not to waste your time)

So there's my dark, secret automotive past. Anyone else care to share?

 

I almost supercharged my car, until I learned a thing or two. We all know how well that would've gone here.

My car now is cleaner and more well organized under the hood than it was N/A/stock. Wish I had something more exciting to share, but I've only been driving/had a car for 4 years.

 

I kept buying VWs over, and over, and over after putting 14 window regulators in my car, before the class-action lawsuit. I wish I bought a Miata a long time ago, I'd have much more cash today.

 

I had strut tower bars, a CAI, a automatic shift manager, on my 03 Cavalier. And hideous 17' wheels ready to go on.

 

fuel line on my ms3





goes from the pump to the block. i didn't personally do this, but one of my dumbass "friends" kept turning the nut and turning the nut and turning the nut and wondered why it wasn't loosening. cause he was twisting my hard pipe.

 

When I was 18, I tried to adjust the points on the distributor on my Dodge Dart. I dropped a screw down the distributor, and rather than taking the distributor out and shaking it until the screw fell out, I got another screw and put it back together, leaving the stray screw roaming around the distributor. Let's just say it's a good thing slant six distributor gears are nylon and not metal.

 

Enough said...

 

surprised you didn't bring up your pizza in throttle incident?

 

i didn't bring that upon myself. that was kevin being a piece of ****

 

my mistake was buying a corrado g60 for a daily driver and not swapping it.



damn it was perty but damn I had to work on it all the F'in time

 

Buying a boosted rx7

 

I did a few hours of work in trade for a 2000 Volvo S40. The PO said, “It not cranking sometimes.” Once it was in my name I discovered the neutral safety switch had **** itself and wouldn’t let the starter circuit close. Since the neutral switch is a $200.00 part that involves a couple hours to replace, I opted instead to install a $2.99 push button switch going from the solenoid directly to +12 battery. And since I was short on 14g wire, I mounted the switch under the hood instead of going thru the firewall into the glovebox. So now when the car won’t crank by key (all the time), I have to pop the hood, get out, push the button. Now, not only do I have to suffer the social implications of driving a Volvo, but I also have to monkey under the hood to get it to start. Very ghetto when you’re pushing 40.
I've made far worse decisions in my automotive past, but none I'm brave enough to admit.

 

Details. Now.

 

admin of another forum (who is a piece of **** cocksucking pathological lying one-upper) put pizza crust in my intake.

on a different day, while installing my my front mount on ms3, he put plastic bags in one of the end tanks.

 

I once fully assembled an aircooled VW engine, heads and all, when I noticed the camshaft sitting on the workbench...

I also once had a turbo miata with an FMU... ugh

 

My turbo Corrado on piggy-back Haltec 15-years ago was significantly more reliable than my TT Coupe.

 

 

Don't stop there.... let's get to stuff you actually did...

First one to come to mind: MAP clamp... lol

 

thank you for reminding me.
in an attempt to be super fastz, i installed an mbc on the ms3.
i didn't know at the time, but there's a restrictor pill on the turbo, so it didn't actually do anything. BUT...
in an attempt to boost 18-19psi on the stock ecu, i had two options - map clamp or boost cut defender.
so instead of bleeding hard-earn-boost...i decided to go with a map clamp wire crimped to the ecu...lol. **** solder.

about 30 minutes later, my car threw more codes than i could even count.
all the way from abs to voltage for the gas pedal to whatever the ****.
in the end, i think i changed the voltage on abs wire instead of the map sensor.

that was just the beginning...

 

omg