Are you serious? Really?
 

Post up any are you serious moments you've had recently.

Honda of Corpus, I stopped by just to see if they had an S2000 hardtop and if they were dealing on it since the car is discountinued. This is from the guy in front of me in line.

Guy: Do you have a front liscense plate bracket for a 2002 Civic.

Parts: Yes I have two in stock.

Guy: How many?

Parts: Two, how many do you need?

Guy: One, how much is it?

Parts: $9 with hardware.

Guy: What do you think honey.

Wife: (long pause) Ok, lets get it.

Guy: Ok we will take it, does that include instalation?

Parts: no


lol, did he have to ask his wife for permission for the $9 bracket that they needed enough to drive all the way to Honda? Did he plan on buying three and then change his mind? Did he really think at $9 it included someone installing it? Did he think knowone would question his manhood for not being able to screw in 2, 10mm bolts?

Well it is Corpus...

*sigh*

I laughed out loud, riveting tale chap.

Last time I was at honda, the couple in front of me in parts dept. just bought a used car. they were pissed because it didn't have fog lights. They made a huge fuss about how they couldn't believe they wouldn't throw in new fog lights for free. Then they were pissed the fog light kit was like $400....they also asked if it was installed, when told no they threw a fit and went to go find the sales manager. I loled. I'm pretty sure I saw food stamps fall out of my her purse.

Not sure why but I am reminded about a story my friend told me. He worked at Lowes and some guy came in to buy a garage door with glass windows. They loaded it onto a flatbed cart for him and pulled it out to the parking lot. When they got there they found out he didn't have a pickup truck, only a sedan (Honda Prelude if I remember correctly). The guy wanted it strapped to the top of his car with bungee cords. They told him no way in hell they were going to do that because it would be unsafe, would trash his car and probably destroy the door. He raised total hell and stormed inside to get the manager. The manager told the guys to put it on the car to keep the customer quiet. The guy drives off and as soon as he hits the first red light the garage door falls off and breaks all the windows. He turns around, comes back to the store and demands his money back (which they give him). Insane...

lol.

you look much cooler in a prelude. i love taking my prelude to HD, i bought an air conditioner once and it couldnt fit...so i went back and returned it, then i was sad cause itw as still hot in my house.

Didn't stop this guy:
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.diylife.c...007/10/ac2.jpg

well i just needed to transport it to my house...the prelude has good a/c

I was just at autozone and this girl in front of me told the parts guy she needed front brake pads for her boo's 2012 GMC Sierra with the 12.3L motor. Dude started laughing because he thought it was a setup and no one could actually be that dumb. Conversation after:
Dude: Ma'am. That's too big of a motor
Girl: Well that's wat he has. His truck's bad ass.
Dude: I'm sorry but they haven't even come out with the 2012 trucks yet, so I can't get brake pads for them.
Girl: Well he has one.
Dude: Can you call him and make sure you are hearing him correctly?
Girl: FINE! (acts like she is gonna show this guy up and make an ass out of him)
Girl: (on the phone) I told them you had a 2012 and they don't believe me..........2006? (got quiet) I thought it was a 2012.
Girl: Aight so it's a 2006! You have those or not?!
Dude: Yup.

lol women and cars. always get a winner out of that combo.

My father in law once asked me to install an "AWD system" onto his corolla.

Was at Harbor Fright last weekend. The couple in front of me checked out separately so they could use two of the 20% off coupons, okay fine. Husband checks out, now it's wifey's turn. She has nothing in her cart, except her kid, so I'm wondering what she is planning to buy with that coupon.

Woman: Do you have any of those jewelry cleaner machines in stock?
<she means one of those ultrasonic cleaning baths>
Clerk: There should be a bunch of them stacked under the display model. Did you see any there?
Woman: I don't know.
Clerk: Charlise! <hollers for manager> Can you grab one of those jewelry cleaner machines?
Manager: Lemme check. <returns shortly, item in hand> Here you go.
Woman: This box says it's an "ultrasonic" cleaner. Can it clean jewelry?
Clerk: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Woman: Okay, I'll take it. Here's a coupon.
Clerk: This coupon is expired, but I'll give you the 20% off anyway. The discounted price comes to $55.99.
Woman: <asks husband> I don't know, honey. Do we still want it? <hemming and hawing>
Me and everybody else in line behind me: :confused::vash:

This is why I pay the gladly pay the shipping so I do not have to venture to HF.

This is why you don't stand behind me at HF. I bring several coupons, several buyers, and all sorts of price matching printouts. At least I have the decency to tell the people behind me they might want to move to another line and I get the manager up there as soon as I can (so he can OK all the transactions, matches, etc).

I don't care if someone wants to save a buck, more power to ya, and I'd certainly appreciate the heads-up on picking a different line. No problems there at all.

My issue is with the dumbass who waits in THE FUCKING CHECKOUT LINE and finally gets up to the cashier not knowing if she even wants an item that she doesn't even know they have. It's multiple levels of compounded dumbassery.

lol, yes!

I would have NOT returned his money.

I once brought my FB RX7 to purchase a 55'' rear projection TV... and the motherfucker fit! With about 1/4'' clearance, and the hatch glass sticking up like a spoiler. It was the craziest shit I have ever seen. Never would have thought in a million years it would fit. This was out of the box of course.

This is why I just put shit in my pockets and walk out.

probably could, using the matrix xr setup. I know the Scion Xb guys have done it.

sERIOUSLY !
I work for auto dealer parts Department... I get comments and questions like this every day...

" I need a caddalac converter for my car. "

" My check engine light is on, do I need to change my oil? "

Every day is a different story.. but being in a car dealership is better than a Advance / or autozone parts department. My local Advance gives me a discount every time. They know me, like me, and appreciate that when I ask for parts, i ask nicely, and know what im talking about. No umm, or likes, or here talk to my mechanic. or husband what i needs. I couldnt stand that issue.

I work at Costco and by the end of my shift my forehead is red from face palming myself all day long.

My favorite thing to hear is, "Do you have this in a regular size? I dont need this much." Jesus, you're in fucking Costco. Are you serious? Really?

Also, we sell some beer in 2 12 pack quantities instead of a full case of 24. People buy one of the 12 packs all the time. You think $21.99 for a 12 pack of Bud Light w/Lime is a good deal?

Being the service writer at a BMW/Mini/Benz shop, I get this shit all the time. My favorite phone call to date:

Him: "Yeah, I got a Muhcedes E500 spowt. O-tree. Um, the Cadillac convertible inside my transmission is leaking radiator fluid."

Me: "What?!?!"

Him: "How much to fix dat?"

Me: "To fix the Cadillac convertible inside your Mercedes transmission that's leaking radiator fluid?"

Him: "Yeah."

hahahahha.

cool story

haha, thats awesome.

Oh my favorite one was when I worked at Toyota. You see, anyone who has worked or works in the automotive service industry knows the drill when they get a car and a repair order. So I get this one for an oil change..no biggie. But it was the service writers add-in on the commens section that made me run to the copier and make a cpoy to pin to my tool box....get ready for a 3-way facepalm-

"Customer states windows will only go all the way down or all the way up".


I am NOT fucking kidding.
I also got another R.O. with a lovely treat in the notes section-

"Customer states seat belt light will not turn off".

Can you guess what the problem was? :giggle:

I don't get it....I like to 'crack' my windows sometimes to get just a little bit of fresh air... If my window only went all the way down or all the way up, I'd have an issue with that too.....

Dude. They were using the auto up/down on the button and not just lightly pressing it.

unless you didn't trip the auto-up/down button while trying to manually get your position...


edit: too slow

I worked at an Advance Auto Parts in rural South Georgia back when I was in college. This really happened just this way. This was not atypical.

A middle aged black fellow walked up to the parts counter and said, "You gotta watta pump?"

"For what kind of car?"

"Issa Brewi."

"What kind of car?"

"Brewit."

"Brewit what?"

"Brewit somethin'. I dunno. Iss out der. :points to parking lot: Da blue one."

"The Park Avenue?"

"Yeah, da blue one."

"What year is it?"

"Dunno."

"Is it a six cylinder?"

"You wanna go look?"

We don't get much of that in-person. I think the worst I've had in person was a college girl that wanted to know how much we charged to fix her CEL.

Me - "Well, let's start with this: what kind of car is it?"

Her - "Uh, a B M W..." (you have to "valley-girl" the BMW in a very condescending tone - nevermind the fact that EVERYONE here owns/has owned many BMWs - to get the full effect here)

Me - "What kind of BMW?"

Her - "[scoff] A white one..."

Me - "That's vague... What do the numbers on the right side of the trunk say?"

Her - "I don't know... it's white."

Me - "Let's go outside and take a look..."

was she at least hot?

lol

All these comments seem about normal.

I work at an autoparts store on the weekends and we have a guy from the hood who's constantly wants to warranty parts out. Since he works on a million boxes and bubbles and we have a lifetime warranty on a bunch of parts, he'll have 2-3 customers buy the parts, then after that he will bring the rest of his customers parts in as warranty. Last weekend I caught him in the act....

"Sir, I cannot warranty the master cylinder. You can tell its over 3 months old, and it does not have the reman print on it"

"I had to swap reservoirs with the old one"

Knowing we sell it with the reservoir, and he was going to break it trying-

"Okay, then pull the reservoir off and I'll warranty it out"

"Lemmie get a screwdriver. It just pops right off"

A few minutes later I hear "Crack!"

"I'm sorry sir, but now I cannot warranty it out, as it was an installer error. Have a great day."

Yeah, I would have PIIHB. At least once...

So there I was, walking around Costco. Minding my own business when I look at the side wall where the soda is stacked. I always get a case or two of the glass bottle Coke from Mexico. All I could see was a pallet of it on the top shelf still wrapped up. Five minutes goes by and I'm sure there isn't any in a place that I can actually reach. I wanted to be sure it wasn't right in front of me before I asked for help. An employee walks by and I ask him if he can help me. He gets a smirk on his face and asks me if the pallet of cases directly behind me on the floor against the cooler will work. Yes, I was that guy yesterday.

A 16 year old salad girl at the restaurant I work at asked what eggplant was(referring to the eggplant parmesan). A waitress told her, "Um... its a vegetable."

To which she replied, "EWW, I thought it was chicken... I don't like it anymore."

Holy shit these kids are dumb.

That's when you double down and tell him, "If I wanted the Cokes on the floor, I wouldn't be asking you to help me get the Cokes down from the shelf, now would I?"

I actually just thanked him and asked for directions to the optometry section.

Lady came in

Her: Can I get an Oil change?
Me: Sure whats the year make and model?
Her: Huh?
Me: What type of car is it?
Her: A black one
Me: No. I mean who makes it, Chevy, Mazda, Ford?
Her: Oh haha a Mazda I think
Me: Do you know what mazda?
Her: Its a mazda car
Me: Okay hang on let me go look
Me: *steps out side and looks around puzzled*
Me: Ma'am I don't see any mazdas.
Her: *Walks to the door with me and points to a black vehicle
Me: You mean the Lexus RX330 (Lexus SUV)
Her: I guess. Is that what it is?
Me: yes that is what the one you pointed at is
Her: I barely know how to put gas in it. Sorry.
Me: *Facepalm*

^^ Similar thing happened to me. One of my exes would always talk about how much she loved her Jeep. It could hold 5 people, it didn't break down and blah blah blah. I was always confused, as she always said this and I never saw her drive a Jeep... One day while in her RX330, I finally asked where this Jeep was, since I never see it. She proceeded to say "You're in it... Isn't this a Jeep?"

:facepalm:

To too many people, the right pedal is the go pedal and the left is the not-go peddle.

Funny enough, that very same girl asked me why I kept moving the shifter out of drive (This was in my 5-speed Miata). I explained to her that I was switching gears. On a different occasion, she asked if the two left pedals were brakes :facepalm:

One of my favorites happened when I was in college and working at an oil change place. An older lady comes in with her Cadillac and starts complaining that she was in the day before to get her oil changed and we did not add oil back to her car. She claimed that she had added 2 quarts and it still did not register on the dipstick.

She then opens her hood and takes off the oil fill cap, then pulls out the dipstick and jams it into the fill hole and pulls it out and shows me that there is no oil on the dipstick. I calmly grabbed the dipstick from her and stick it into the dip tube and pull it back out to show her that her car was 2 quarts over full.

She then proceeds to tell me that she thought that that was just the holder for the dipstick and not where you actually checked the oil. I then explained to her that she was wrong and asked the guy in the pit to drain a few quarts out.

Lol dude it happens constantly every day. Costco is an overwhelming place for your eyes, there is so much to see. Even those of us who work there have this same problem.

Isn't that mexican coke delicious?

On a side note. I work in the electronics department at Walmart. I get alot of "Where is (enter item here)." Its almost always directly behind them, or one more step forward in the path they were already on. They love to look up and down 9 aisles and skip the 10th one which is where the item they want is at.

Then like a week before halloween I come back from the rest-room and get stopped by a woman who says "You look like you can help me." Keep in mind I am in the electronics department. She then says "I want to look like Waldo for halloween" ...uh So I direct her towards our halloween section (which is rather large) Shes says shes looked through there. Silly me I went all the way up to the front of the store, from the very back, took all the Waldo costumes and hide them under our counters and locked them up.

I read all these posts in this thread and the only thing I learned (but already knew) was that most women don't know what car they drive every day, and working in retail sucks but delivers the lulz

It sure the fuck is!

http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/system/...jpg?1283606845

ftfy.

Bump.

First day at new job, working drive through.

Me: Welcome to Mc. D's, may I take your order?
Her: Hi, can I get a Big Mac and some french fries?
Me: Ok, Big Mac and medium fries
Her: No, I said french fries
Me: ...Just the fries?
Her: No, a Big Mac and some french fries
Me: Ok, a Big Mac and some medium fries
Her: No! French fries!!
Me: ...Ok, your total is x.xx, next window please.

Manager, who was listening: What a fucking bitch!

PS: We gave her medium fries.

Trying to help a co-worker with an access database I created for her team several months ago in order to help them keep track of their department specific records.

Her: Sir, we don't have any new information in our database, it's just not pulling any new information.

Me: That information doesn't 'pull' from anywhere.

Her: Well, then how are we supposed to see our information if it doesn't 'pull' from somewhere else?

A friend of mine got a job at McDonald's. He showed up early for every shift, hustled his ass off, stayed late after punching out. In general, he was the best employee he could possibly be for a month.
At the end of the month, the manager presented him with the employee of the month plaque with his name on it. He said "Thanks, I quit. That's what I was here for". He proudly has his McDonald's employee of the month plaque on his wall to this day.

He's a pretty sick fellow, but always interesting to hang out with.

your friend sounds awesome. He should go Galt.

That's awesome. Just awesome.

I did the same thing joining the army. I just wanted a medal. Now that I got that medal I found out I have to stay in for a full 6 years.

Dammit.

faeflora pities you, or hates you, or makes money off of you, or something.

Nah, that commie hates me. But it's hard to care about someone who can't see beyond his own nose.

LOL...I almost did that last night...

I've been wanting to post the story about the rich guy with the hot daughter that couldn't open the hood on his $100,000 Mercedes. But...

Then this lady came to my work and she tried to pay me with money that she grabbed from inside her bra. I was like are you serious? Really? Holy shit! I was this close --- to telling her that I wouldn't accept the cash but I took it because it was a big sale. It was all sweaty and shit. Then when I give her change back. She put the bills and coins back in her bra! Uuuuugh.