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Old 07-16-2010, 10:50 AM   #1061
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Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.' Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'

She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.' Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine.'

Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change
your smart-*** attitude, you never will.'
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:11 AM   #1062
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Here we have black, pants-less, pregnant prostitutes fighting outside a burger king, with men fighting the women, pot smoking, and eventually a woman wrecking into a cop. It gets better and better with every minute.


Wow, who says we don't need population control?
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:18 AM   #1063
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Wow, who says we don't need population control?
I say we don't need population control. If we had it how could i waste 10 minutes at work laughing my *** off.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:35 AM   #1064
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I say we don't need population control. If we had it how could i waste 10 minutes at work laughing my *** off.


Okay fine, how about we build an island and move all worthless people there. Setup cameras and it can be a reality show for our pleasure?
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:36 AM   #1065
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Okay fine, how about we build an island and move all worthless people there. Setup cameras and it can be a reality show for our pleasure?
That's what Australia was for...
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:38 AM   #1066
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Okay fine, how about we build an island and move all worthless people there. Setup cameras and it can be a reality show for our pleasure?
You might be on to something. I am going to get in contact with MTV. We just got to make sure we get the cast from Jersey Shore in.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:40 AM   #1067
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Okay fine, how about we build an island and move all worthless people there. Setup cameras and it can be a reality show for our pleasure?

that's racist.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:41 AM   #1068
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You might be on to something. I am going to get in contact with MTV. We just got to make sure we get the cast from Jersey Shore in.
They definitely fall into the worthless category.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:42 AM   #1069
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that's racist.
against whom?
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:43 AM   #1070
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I dont want to sell the hard top now 8(
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:45 AM   #1071
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I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:54 AM   #1072
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gospeed81 View Post
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
is this IRL, pretty good stuff either way
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:54 AM   #1073
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Lmao ^^ nice one.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:58 AM   #1074
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watch the foot:


It gets me every time.
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:01 PM   #1075
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bond View Post
is this IRL, pretty good stuff either way
No, not me, I wish. Good one from my local two wheeled forum.



God I LOVE cops...
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:06 PM   #1076
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What are you doing?
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:12 PM   #1077
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Holy cow... I can't believe I thought that hard about this. I think I've actually just lost respect for myself.
You know, I agree. I think we should call it quits on this discussion. Interesting, but ultimately just poking holes in a sci-fi movie which are usually easy targets anyway due to their typical ignorance (intentional or not) of physics.

One last thing though, I agree with the Battlestar Galactica thing. I have not watched the series, and have just caught a glimpse of a couple of episodes. However I did see a scene with the fighters maneuvering in space, and though that it was pretty cool how they were showing the 'flight' characteristics and acceleration forces working. Much more realistic.
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:19 PM   #1078
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What are you doing?
Surfin MT.net. and random **** sites. What are you doing?
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:21 PM   #1079
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i just ordered 144 mt.net shirts.
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:23 PM   #1080
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Surfin MT.net. and random **** sites. What are you doing?
Prepping my needle for fresh blast of heroin, I already masturbated too much today
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