Do you guys get bored to death on a regular basis?
10-29-2010, 08:33 PM
#22
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If you're wide awake and really bored...excercise hard core. Go buy P90X or something. If you're getting close to bed time, work on a relaxing project, maybe drink some beer. That's usually what I do, so it helps me focus my mind on less depressing things. Don't be a ***** and go cry to some counselor and then take sone bullshit anti-depessants. Grow a sack and find a positive way to focus, whether it's doing a hobby, or keeping yourself fit.
I'm up a good 40 pounds from when I lost this weight:
Fat asses like me will always yo-yo.
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10-29-2010, 09:47 PM
#23
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robert, I know you're not a typical guy in terms of social life, but getting out of the house and being a social creature can really have a positive impact on your state of mind.
plan events with friends. go places where many people are.
of course if you can't stand your job, get one you like.
plan events with friends. go places where many people are.
of course if you can't stand your job, get one you like.
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being lazy
10-30-2010, 12:06 AM
#26
literally find people to go be social with. check meetup.com to see if there are any social groups in your area. Helped me to hang out with a group of people about once a week that I didn't know, and gave me something to look forward to all of the time. I also did new things that I had never tried before. The best part is, you are in a social setting with a group of people that WANT to be in a social setting with a group of people, so they're having fun just enjoying your company.
The other thing I did was start calling old friends/acquainances/etc. up and scheduling evenings with them. "hey, you wanna grab dinner at applebees on tuesday night?" works much better than you might think if you're calling someone you havent talked to in awhile. If it's a female companion, don't make it a 'date', make it a 'fun night out', and you don't really have to do anything more than happy hour + dinner at a restaurant. Again, it gave me something to look forward to on the evenings when I wasn't hanging out with people, and something to do when I was.
If you work on your car a lot when you're bored, this strategy will change your outlook from "well, i guess I'll spend the evening working on the car AGAIN...." to "oh ****, i've got a free evening to work on the car!"
The other thing I did was start calling old friends/acquainances/etc. up and scheduling evenings with them. "hey, you wanna grab dinner at applebees on tuesday night?" works much better than you might think if you're calling someone you havent talked to in awhile. If it's a female companion, don't make it a 'date', make it a 'fun night out', and you don't really have to do anything more than happy hour + dinner at a restaurant. Again, it gave me something to look forward to on the evenings when I wasn't hanging out with people, and something to do when I was.
If you work on your car a lot when you're bored, this strategy will change your outlook from "well, i guess I'll spend the evening working on the car AGAIN...." to "oh ****, i've got a free evening to work on the car!"
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10-30-2010, 05:29 AM
#27
I haven't felt bored for 20 years. I'm ******* serious--not even once. There is just too much cool **** to think about or do. I've thought hard about what you wrote. I want to help contribute to this thread. I forget what it feels like to be bored. You have Internet, right? I'm siding with Jeff C on this one.
EDIT: I work rotating 12 hour shifts.
EDIT: I work rotating 12 hour shifts.
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10-30-2010, 08:27 AM
#28
I haven't felt bored for 20 years. I'm ******* serious--not even once. There is just too much cool **** to think about or do. I've thought hard about what you wrote. I want to help contribute to this thread. I forget what it feels like to be bored. You have Internet, right? I'm siding with Jeff C on this one.
EDIT: I work rotating 12 hour shifts.
EDIT: I work rotating 12 hour shifts.
I have my fair share of depression. It comes and goes.
Sometimes the boredom and feelings of guilt, or periods of dissatisfaction is what drive people to create, and be innovative. That is a quality not everyone has. Although painful, it is what makes you unique, and to do things that others are not motivated to do. Pain can be a blessing some times.
My impression of you is that you posess some of those qualities, and that in fact you get a lot done, and have the motivation to be innovative.
Edit: Just to be clear, I was refering to the OP.
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10-30-2010, 08:29 AM
#29
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I am amazed that you guys would tell me to find something to do. There is absolutely nothing in my house/life that I have not hacked/modified/taken apart. I'm currently learning to play guitar (I've got NINE of them right now), building a new Miata, modifying a Ruger 10/22, cooking a fresh batch of cigars, building a recording studio, parting out a Geo Metro, and "carving" a park bench out of metal with my plasma cutter. Tonight there is a party at my house where we will be playing games on my hacked Wii, my hacked XBox 360s, and the two arcade machines I built. As far as internet, I was running my own social network back in the early 90s before anyone had ever even though of Facebook when I was one of the first ISPs in the South East. It isn't about finding something to do. It is a mental funk I get the split second I take a break.
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10-30-2010, 09:39 AM
#33
I feel the same way. If you are like me then it comes from a lack of ability to seperate mentally from what you need to do and being able to truly relax. I feel guilty for relaxing to where I feel I am bored and not really enjoy it as I should. Everyone should be able to sitdown and have a beer/glass O' lemonade/whatever your vice is, and enjoy the moment.
.
.
I am a teacher and in Grad School. I always have something to do and I feel guilty when I'm not either grading, planning, or doing my own homework. But I do have to get my own house chores done as well as take some time to relax. I end up not doing either well a lot of the time because I ususally am thinking of the other.
About the only thing I do is make time to run on the weekends.
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10-30-2010, 09:57 AM
#34
Lots of good suggestions here...exercise, lists, possible help.
I battle with this a LOT. I never stop moving. My time is not my own between school, work, a long commute, and family life.
I stick with my projects and hobbies as I claim they are what keeps me sane, and my only true personal time...but I battle being content, relaxed, or happy out in the garage too. I often feel pressed to finish (not relaxing), that I'm not doing it right (not confidence inspiring), and that the results do not merit the cost/effort.
Other times when I finally have free time I end up not doing much of anything and regret it later...thinking of all the things I could have done with that time.
This is contrary to what I tell myself about my garage time. I claim that it is something I enjoy, that I am in control of, that I know the likely outcome of, and is my creative expression, as well as a mental challenge I feel confident tackling.
When I found myself getting bored and upset with it all...I discovered two things:
1. This was pretty much the last corner of my life finally being affected by depression. The only thing left after that was my relationship with my daughter, and the joy of spending time with her. That scared me...and things had to change.
Over the past year I've changed my outlook on things, built a lot of confidence, and learned how to keep the darker thoughts from building "bird's nests" in my head. My wife and I have greatly strengthened our relationship, after a year long period that came to the brink of divorce several times.
As Jeff has stated, depression has many forms, and shouldn't be ignored. It also has many causes, and none of them you should be ashamed of. Unhealthy relationships, chronic pain, feelings of helplessness or an unchanging situation can all drive people to exhibit the symptoms that let us know something isn't right. It should be viewed as an indicator, and not a descriptor, just as regret should be a marker for a lesson learned, and not a feeling that is dwelled upon.
2. I needed to remember why I do the things I enjoy. This is hard to explain, and even harder to detect and fix when going wrong. One thing I struggle with at times is tackling a project the way others would do it, instead of the way I want to do it. In the day and age of forums, internet write-ups, and youtube vids on nearly everything, it's often hard to disconnect from that. Remember that you are just a man with tools alone in your garage.
I've found myself several times knee deep into a hobby I didn't plan on getting that far into (the mustard forum comic comes to mind). It's easy to change the goals from your own to something you've been convinced is better. While this shared knowledge can be helpful, you have to continually compare these goals with your own original goals...not just for the project itself, but for your enjoyment of it.
I stepped away from the turbo Miata thing on a personal level because there really is no end to it. The whole point of a project like that is to optimize everything. Until you have the means to see it to the end you can't do it. In the case of the Red Beast it was labor intensive, and you got there. In JayL's case it's a ridiculous power chase...beset with broken parts...and lessons learned. I can only speculate on ya'll's goals, but I know I wouldn't have been able to chase them.
I'm back to simpler projects, and enjoying them more. I'm restoring an old metric bike, and turning my daily into a lightweight sport tourer that suits me and my riding perfectly. I'm not as bored anymore, and enjoy it much more, even when it's only a half hour before I have to set it down. Lists help here...as I can tell with a glance where I am, what I'm going to do, and don't get the frantic feeling of having it all in my head.
Feel free to email me on any of this. Personal motivation and satisfaction are tough matters. It usually takes a careful balance of challenge, interest, ability, effort and of course time to make it work. You need to find out which of these factors are missing in all aspects of life (hobbies, work, marriage, personal growth), and decide how to remedy them.
I battle with this a LOT. I never stop moving. My time is not my own between school, work, a long commute, and family life.
I stick with my projects and hobbies as I claim they are what keeps me sane, and my only true personal time...but I battle being content, relaxed, or happy out in the garage too. I often feel pressed to finish (not relaxing), that I'm not doing it right (not confidence inspiring), and that the results do not merit the cost/effort.
Other times when I finally have free time I end up not doing much of anything and regret it later...thinking of all the things I could have done with that time.
This is contrary to what I tell myself about my garage time. I claim that it is something I enjoy, that I am in control of, that I know the likely outcome of, and is my creative expression, as well as a mental challenge I feel confident tackling.
When I found myself getting bored and upset with it all...I discovered two things:
1. This was pretty much the last corner of my life finally being affected by depression. The only thing left after that was my relationship with my daughter, and the joy of spending time with her. That scared me...and things had to change.
Over the past year I've changed my outlook on things, built a lot of confidence, and learned how to keep the darker thoughts from building "bird's nests" in my head. My wife and I have greatly strengthened our relationship, after a year long period that came to the brink of divorce several times.
As Jeff has stated, depression has many forms, and shouldn't be ignored. It also has many causes, and none of them you should be ashamed of. Unhealthy relationships, chronic pain, feelings of helplessness or an unchanging situation can all drive people to exhibit the symptoms that let us know something isn't right. It should be viewed as an indicator, and not a descriptor, just as regret should be a marker for a lesson learned, and not a feeling that is dwelled upon.
2. I needed to remember why I do the things I enjoy. This is hard to explain, and even harder to detect and fix when going wrong. One thing I struggle with at times is tackling a project the way others would do it, instead of the way I want to do it. In the day and age of forums, internet write-ups, and youtube vids on nearly everything, it's often hard to disconnect from that. Remember that you are just a man with tools alone in your garage.
I've found myself several times knee deep into a hobby I didn't plan on getting that far into (the mustard forum comic comes to mind). It's easy to change the goals from your own to something you've been convinced is better. While this shared knowledge can be helpful, you have to continually compare these goals with your own original goals...not just for the project itself, but for your enjoyment of it.
I stepped away from the turbo Miata thing on a personal level because there really is no end to it. The whole point of a project like that is to optimize everything. Until you have the means to see it to the end you can't do it. In the case of the Red Beast it was labor intensive, and you got there. In JayL's case it's a ridiculous power chase...beset with broken parts...and lessons learned. I can only speculate on ya'll's goals, but I know I wouldn't have been able to chase them.
I'm back to simpler projects, and enjoying them more. I'm restoring an old metric bike, and turning my daily into a lightweight sport tourer that suits me and my riding perfectly. I'm not as bored anymore, and enjoy it much more, even when it's only a half hour before I have to set it down. Lists help here...as I can tell with a glance where I am, what I'm going to do, and don't get the frantic feeling of having it all in my head.
Feel free to email me on any of this. Personal motivation and satisfaction are tough matters. It usually takes a careful balance of challenge, interest, ability, effort and of course time to make it work. You need to find out which of these factors are missing in all aspects of life (hobbies, work, marriage, personal growth), and decide how to remedy them.
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10-30-2010, 07:32 PM
#38
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I am amazed that you guys would tell me to find something to do. There is absolutely nothing in my house/life that I have not hacked/modified/taken apart. I'm currently learning to play guitar (I've got NINE of them right now), building a new Miata, modifying a Ruger 10/22, cooking a fresh batch of cigars, building a recording studio, parting out a Geo Metro, and "carving" a park bench out of metal with my plasma cutter. Tonight there is a party at my house where we will be playing games on my hacked Wii, my hacked XBox 360s, and the two arcade machines I built. As far as internet, I was running my own social network back in the early 90s before anyone had ever even though of Facebook when I was one of the first ISPs in the South East. It isn't about finding something to do. It is a mental funk I get the split second I take a break.
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