How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
07-20-2010, 11:29 AM
#1301
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07-20-2010, 12:50 PM
#1304
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I think today it's time to show that I have even less of a life that Joe proved he had with the 2012 movie rant.
For the past couple of months, I've been working my way through the first 3 seasons of Pokemon. Don't ask why I have them, I just do. All 153 episodes, even the ones banned from the US for subliminal messaging and giving kids seizures. It's currently wasting 40gb of space on my hard drive but I can't bring myself to delete them.
Anywayws, that whole show is an increadibly popular childrens television show despite the entire concept being an unmitigated failure chocked full of aids and marketing BS.
For starters, there's the pokemon voice acting. The people aren't nessisarily that bad, but those damn little pokemon have the worst voices ever. Here's a good example of what I mean:
This is a prime example of how god damned annoying their voices are. All of them are voiced by either the stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl or a fat, balding middle-aged man with some synthesizer effects thrown in.
I can picture the advertisement calling them. "Wanted: Really, really annoying voice actor for crappy one-liners for TV show with no plot or acting".
And every single episode is exactly the same. They're wandering somewhere, run into a problem, start solving, team rocket comes, they do something, blast off, solve problem, episode over. Except the occasional gym battle, in which case *** always wins through some peculiar string of events. He never beats them strait up, he always gets them through a loophole or a random occurrence (Usually involving team rocket). I have only ever been surprised ONCE by that show, ever. And that one occurrence was when *** actually lost in the Pokemon league. But the problem is that if he won there wouldn't have been any trace of a plot in the entire show.
And the worst part, absolute worst part is Team Rocket. Half the ******* show (or so it feels like) Is wasted on their stupid ******* introduction (Prepare for trouble... And make it double). And then, they always dig a hole, steal a batch of pokemon and Pichaku to cap it off. The always hang the vast amount of Pokemon from a net under their hot air balloon with the cat's face on it (Seriously, who the **** uses a balloon as a getaway vehicle?)
And then Pikachu... ****, this is where their lack of ANY creativity shows. Seriously. The thing they put Pikachu in is always a glass case with a rubber base, and it's always "Pikaproof". Either that, or it's shock attacks don't work because it's made of rubber or it's grounded or the electricity goes to fans/lightbulbs. In all seriousness, I can think of THREE things that happen when they steal Pikachu, which they manage to do every single episode. Every last one.
And then, Team Rocket blasts off through a series of options.
a. Squirtle pops their balloon
b. Pikachu pops their baloon
c. The bird thing pops their balloon.
One of these things probably happens 4/5 times. OCCASIONALLY, something else happens, but I stick to the 4/5 times thing.
Every single god damn episode.
And it's not even like it's a good kids show. Around the same time, I was watching Yugioh and... That other one. Those shows I still find acceptable because they have plots, they have strategy, and they're actually slightly interesting. And yet, Pokemon is still the dominant one. By MILES. I'm pretty sure it's still going on now, though don't quote me on that. It'd be like season 15 by now.
And yet again, I sit here, still playing the games, still watching the show (Albeit not seriously, and mostly being background noise at this point), and not watching the ones that actually were good. It's probably just a laugh at this point because of how ******* bad a show gained so much popularity in such a short amount of time. Though it must be said that the games are actually really good RPGs when ignoring the premise.
That being said though, they can make a good episode when they deviate from the typical episode layout of the show, but this happens probably once or twice a season... So 1/25 times or so.
In this post: It is revealed what happens when someone in their late teens with absolutely no life at all watches a show designed for children.
For the past couple of months, I've been working my way through the first 3 seasons of Pokemon. Don't ask why I have them, I just do. All 153 episodes, even the ones banned from the US for subliminal messaging and giving kids seizures. It's currently wasting 40gb of space on my hard drive but I can't bring myself to delete them.
Anywayws, that whole show is an increadibly popular childrens television show despite the entire concept being an unmitigated failure chocked full of aids and marketing BS.
For starters, there's the pokemon voice acting. The people aren't nessisarily that bad, but those damn little pokemon have the worst voices ever. Here's a good example of what I mean:
This is a prime example of how god damned annoying their voices are. All of them are voiced by either the stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl or a fat, balding middle-aged man with some synthesizer effects thrown in.
I can picture the advertisement calling them. "Wanted: Really, really annoying voice actor for crappy one-liners for TV show with no plot or acting".
And every single episode is exactly the same. They're wandering somewhere, run into a problem, start solving, team rocket comes, they do something, blast off, solve problem, episode over. Except the occasional gym battle, in which case *** always wins through some peculiar string of events. He never beats them strait up, he always gets them through a loophole or a random occurrence (Usually involving team rocket). I have only ever been surprised ONCE by that show, ever. And that one occurrence was when *** actually lost in the Pokemon league. But the problem is that if he won there wouldn't have been any trace of a plot in the entire show.
And the worst part, absolute worst part is Team Rocket. Half the ******* show (or so it feels like) Is wasted on their stupid ******* introduction (Prepare for trouble... And make it double). And then, they always dig a hole, steal a batch of pokemon and Pichaku to cap it off. The always hang the vast amount of Pokemon from a net under their hot air balloon with the cat's face on it (Seriously, who the **** uses a balloon as a getaway vehicle?)
And then Pikachu... ****, this is where their lack of ANY creativity shows. Seriously. The thing they put Pikachu in is always a glass case with a rubber base, and it's always "Pikaproof". Either that, or it's shock attacks don't work because it's made of rubber or it's grounded or the electricity goes to fans/lightbulbs. In all seriousness, I can think of THREE things that happen when they steal Pikachu, which they manage to do every single episode. Every last one.
And then, Team Rocket blasts off through a series of options.
a. Squirtle pops their balloon
b. Pikachu pops their baloon
c. The bird thing pops their balloon.
One of these things probably happens 4/5 times. OCCASIONALLY, something else happens, but I stick to the 4/5 times thing.
Every single god damn episode.
And it's not even like it's a good kids show. Around the same time, I was watching Yugioh and... That other one. Those shows I still find acceptable because they have plots, they have strategy, and they're actually slightly interesting. And yet, Pokemon is still the dominant one. By MILES. I'm pretty sure it's still going on now, though don't quote me on that. It'd be like season 15 by now.
And yet again, I sit here, still playing the games, still watching the show (Albeit not seriously, and mostly being background noise at this point), and not watching the ones that actually were good. It's probably just a laugh at this point because of how ******* bad a show gained so much popularity in such a short amount of time. Though it must be said that the games are actually really good RPGs when ignoring the premise.
That being said though, they can make a good episode when they deviate from the typical episode layout of the show, but this happens probably once or twice a season... So 1/25 times or so.
In this post: It is revealed what happens when someone in their late teens with absolutely no life at all watches a show designed for children.
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07-20-2010, 01:00 PM
#1308
Want fries with that?
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I had 6,000 Pokemon cards... No joke. I proceeded to sell them, all 6k of them, to Shinders for the massive price of seven dollars and twenty some cents. Yeah, I was like 10.
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07-20-2010, 01:07 PM
#1310
Someone save this thread....
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07-20-2010, 01:27 PM
#1317
Boost Pope
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Yup, it's official. You're a far bigger geek.
Realistically speaking, though, you could claim that just about every primetime drama follows the same sort of outline.
House:
1: Open with random scene in which someone begins to show sign of distress. Someone different then collapses. Member of House's staff convinces him that the aforementioned case is interesting. House takes on the case.
2: House proposes a treatment. His staff argues that he is wrong. He insults them creatively, then goes behind their back and treats patient.
3: Patient gets better, then worse. (Staff breaks into patient's home or workplace during this time.)
4: Staff proceeds with their own treatment, going in circles.
5: Patient is near death.
6: House has an argument with (Cuddy / Wilson / a prostitute / the janitor / a hallucination) during which an idea clicks in his head, causing him to leave in mid-sentance.
7: House successfully treats patient with dangerous and unorthodox procedure.
CSI:
1: Somebody is found dead.
2: Somebody else is found dead in totally unrelated circumstances.
3: Team argues, has sexual tension, resolves their personal issues, maybe does some investigating.
4: Oh, turns out that the two deaths were related after all.
The Deadliest Catch:
1: The weather is turning to ****, and we need to catch eleventy tons of crab before the storm kicks our ***.
2: Something breaks on the boat.
3: The crew argue.
4: ****, it's cold out here.
5: Ok, the storm is kicking our ***.
6: Somebody almost falls overboard.
7: "Next week, on The Deadliest Catch..."
Ice Road Truckers:
1: The weather is turning to ****, and we need tocatch eleventy tons of crab haul eleventy loads of equipment before the storm kicks our ***.
2: Something breaks on theboat truck.
3: Thecrew drivers argue.
4: ****, it's cold out here.
5: Ok, the storm is kicking our ***.
6: Somebody almostfalls overboard breaks through the ice.
7: "Next week, onThe Deadliest Catch Ice Road Truckers..."
Rinse, repeat.
Realistically speaking, though, you could claim that just about every primetime drama follows the same sort of outline.
House:
1: Open with random scene in which someone begins to show sign of distress. Someone different then collapses. Member of House's staff convinces him that the aforementioned case is interesting. House takes on the case.
2: House proposes a treatment. His staff argues that he is wrong. He insults them creatively, then goes behind their back and treats patient.
3: Patient gets better, then worse. (Staff breaks into patient's home or workplace during this time.)
4: Staff proceeds with their own treatment, going in circles.
5: Patient is near death.
6: House has an argument with (Cuddy / Wilson / a prostitute / the janitor / a hallucination) during which an idea clicks in his head, causing him to leave in mid-sentance.
7: House successfully treats patient with dangerous and unorthodox procedure.
CSI:
1: Somebody is found dead.
2: Somebody else is found dead in totally unrelated circumstances.
3: Team argues, has sexual tension, resolves their personal issues, maybe does some investigating.
4: Oh, turns out that the two deaths were related after all.
The Deadliest Catch:
1: The weather is turning to ****, and we need to catch eleventy tons of crab before the storm kicks our ***.
2: Something breaks on the boat.
3: The crew argue.
4: ****, it's cold out here.
5: Ok, the storm is kicking our ***.
6: Somebody almost falls overboard.
7: "Next week, on The Deadliest Catch..."
Ice Road Truckers:
1: The weather is turning to ****, and we need to
2: Something breaks on the
3: The
4: ****, it's cold out here.
5: Ok, the storm is kicking our ***.
6: Somebody almost
7: "Next week, on
Rinse, repeat.
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07-20-2010, 01:30 PM
#1318
^^ The masses need to be pleased.
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07-20-2010, 01:33 PM
#1319
Want fries with that?
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On the note of House, I have noticed that too: I watched the first 6 seasons in a row and most of the episodes are the same, but it's still better than most shows on TV.
This page of the thread reveals why I don't watch TV. For the longest time when I was little I really wanted cable. Now I haven't turned on the TV 'cept for Xbox in over a month.
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