Bet your *** I was winded...for a couple of minutes.
Umm..btw...like every other stair case, they double back so there is no way I could fall all the way down? I've also raced the elevator from 10 to the bottom, it made one stop but I still beat it. Won't do that again.





So does anyone else hate when you sitting down and blow out a raunchy fart...like one so bad you leave where you are but you can't get away from it because its in your shirt and creeping out the collar right under your nose? I just walked half way across the office and still had that **** following me around. Next time I'm going crop-dusting.

 

if you're an inbred redneck, probably

 

If an extremely intelligent person tries to have a complex conversation with an extremely unintelligent person...

The unintelligent person is likely to become confused on many of the points of conversation, will become disinterested, and will generally have a feeling that the intelligent person has made up most of their information from thin air, and is generally untrustworthy, even though every point the intelligent person made may have been dead on correct.

The intelligent person will quickly become bored with conversation, because every point that the unintelligent person is trying to prove will have already been painfully obvious to the intelligent person. The intelligent person will generally have a feeling that the unintelligent person is lazy, and generally untrustworthy, even though every point the unintelligent person made may have been dead on correct.

A similar effect is seen on people with different backgrounds/upbringings.

While you might watch them and think "that comedy is absolutely horrible, boring, tacky, and lewd", someone like myself can actually put up with them and get a few laughs. Their target audience is laughing their asses off though, because while you are correctly thinking "Nobody in their right minds would actually try to arrest someone because of how they sounded/smelled", the target audience is thinking of which of their friends or family members most closely matches the description of the person, and they are picturing them getting arrested for walking around and farting in the middle of a bass pro shops. This is funny to them.

I do recall one of Jeff's first redneck jokes years back:
"If your working TV is sitting on top of your non-working TV....you might be a redneck"

We were watching the show on a TV we had pulled out of a bedroom because grandma's old console TV had gone out.... The entire living room went up in a roar.

 

LOL, i finally got to listen to it:

have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just aint no good
i mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin that youre full
and then your friend says momma he's just being polite
he aint finished uh uh that's bull
so your heart starts pumpin and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate
and your friend says man there's plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate
while the stinky foods steamin your mind starts to dreamin
of the moment that it's time to leave
and then you look at your plate and your chickens slowly rottin
into something that looks like cheese
oh so you say that's it i got to leave this place
i dont care what these people think
im just sittin here makin myself nauseous
with this ugly food that stinks
so you bust out the door while its still closed
still sick from the food you ate
and then you run to the store for quick relief
from a bottle of kaopectate
and then you call your friend two weeks later
to see how he has been
and he says i understand about the food
baby bubbah but we're still friends


Classic!

 

Oh I don't mind some good gross/lewd/childish jokes...but something about those guys is really annoying..on top of the fact that they are fake as a Coach purse bought for $10 in Times Square. With that said, I'll be going to see Danial Tosh in October. That ************ makes me laugh.

 

....and look where rap digressed to.

 

Word.

 

Embed fail

 

Fixed. But yes, it was fail.

 

You're welcome. Don't let it happen again.
__________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote

 

Haha. It won't.

 

I finally reduced my 5 year old Nike daily-worn skate shoes to gym status.

These are my new daily:


$50 every 5 years for shoes isn't so bad

 

They match the green wheels you would put on your BMW.
__________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote

 

Not to be taken lightly.

 

Don't make me send the attack hummingbirds.....I've been feeding them liquid lazer....

 

What is it about balding middle aged men driving minivans that makes me feel bad?
__________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote

 

Because you know you'll be there one day....

 

Heeeeelllll no. The balding part yea, minivan as a daily driver, please kill me.
__________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote

 

LOVE that video. Now i need to watch it again...

 

post on FB MT page you noobs.