Originally Posted by oilstain (Post 567429)

WTF? Interview process at UPS?
Manager: Hey take this package and slam it into the wall as hard as you can, now run it over with your truck. Now turn your head as all the night shift employees do heroin in the parking lot.

Congrats, you got the job!

Originally Posted by lordrigamus (Post 567451)

Attachment 16679

Kitty just got done drilling some holes for me. He looks pooped.

Thanks kitty!!

Originally Posted by Project84 (Post 567397)

That's half the reason I did it.

I forgot the other half, because I've been too preoccupied daydreaming about the nightmare that was that night.

The best/worst part is I was drunk and my stuff was like cockrete but all sensitivity was gone?? I pretty much threw down the gauntlet on that ass, and I know she's hurtin for more. Her neighbors below were banging on their ceiling and we could hear muffled screaming of "STOP FUCKIN GOD DAMNIT!!!" at 3:30am. Glad I don't live there.

In the end, I didn't learn a thing really. I regret it honestly... especially now that she's blowing my phone up [still] trying to cook me dinner and give me a night of "relaxation." I want to text her and just be like, "Hey, it's cool if we hang out occasionally but I'm not looking for anything serious." I surely didn't give off that vibe at all through any of this. I'm in no way wanting to move back into another relationship.


...Last night I went and had mexican food and margarita's at this hole in the wall [incredible] little place that not many people know about. An ex from 6 years ago was nice enough to go out with me. 5'3" 120lbs. Two margaritas we were more than feeling loose and so I invite her back to my place because she hadn't seen it (I just bought the place last summer). I pop the top on a few Coors Light's and we talk about life and how funny things work out.

Next thing I know we're in bed. But there's a problem here too. The tits, again.


I think I was spoiled w/ the ex. Not this ex, my most recent ex. She is a 34D and they look fake in every single aspect, but they're genuine and I equate them to "the best tits on earth" for that matter.

I'm not sure I miss her, but I'm not sure I've accepted this yet.

I should stop being a whore and focus on the problem rather than avoid dealing with it and deny that I'm upset.

I don't wanna. :facepalm:

Originally Posted by Project84 (Post 567414)

I just don't want to be emotionally sought after, and end up regretting NOT cutting the cord sooner rather than later and hurting her.

Originally Posted by levnubhin (Post 567629)

Get as much as you can while you can, someday you will be married and involuntarily practicing abstinence.

Originally Posted by Braineack (Post 567852)

Hi Scott,
Corky confirmed you as a friend on Facebook.

Originally Posted by Joe Perez (Post 568017)

While exiting Vons this evening, I happened to notice something in the rack of free "apartment guide / cars-for-sale / minimum-wage jobs available" magazines. AutoTrader Latino: ¡Tu mejor decisión espera!

Presumably, this is the place to go if you're looking for a lowrider Malibu with gold wheels, or a clapped-out 4x4 with a homebrew lift kit.

http://images.autotraderlatino.com/i.../main/logo.jpg

Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy (Post 568020)

Don't forget the ragged out Civic with wing, and lots of stickers.

Originally Posted by rider384 (Post 568024)

Wing = 10hp per inch
Stickers = 5hp each
And Civics with vtachk already have over 9,000hp, so they're race cars.

JDM math proves it.

Originally Posted by Joe Perez (Post 568033)

My job is so fucking unbelievable.

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completuety useless. The girl is constantly teasing her hair or putting on makeup or practicing that eye-flutter thing. She is self-centered as hell; the idea that somebody other than herself might have wants or needs has never even begun to occur to her. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe unassisted.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. l’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her ’womarly' parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. Still and all, useful to have around.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. He is baked before he comes to work, during work, and l'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 60's, and to make things worse, he brings his enormous fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at that huge Great Dane walking around half-stoned from second-hand smoke. Sometimes I think the damn thing is even trying to talk, what with the constant bellowing. And both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger Kimg, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Originally Posted by Joe Perez (Post 568033)

My job is so fucking unbelievable.

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completuety useless. The girl is constantly teasing her hair or putting on makeup or practicing that eye-flutter thing. She is self-centered as hell; the idea that somebody other than herself might have wants or needs has never even begun to occur to her. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe unassisted.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. l’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her ’womarly' parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. Still and all, useful to have around.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. He is baked before he comes to work, during work, and l'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 60's, and to make things worse, he brings his enormous fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at that huge Great Dane walking around half-stoned from second-hand smoke. Sometimes I think the damn thing is even trying to talk, what with the constant bellowing. And both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger Kimg, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Originally Posted by Bryce (Post 568036)

Scooby Doo, where are you?

http://www.theoriginof.com/images/sc...scooby_doo.jpg