Need your opinion on tough love. - Page 2 - Miata Turbo Forum - Boost cars, acquire cats.

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View Poll Results: What should I do with the spare car?
Give the car to my brother? 0 0%
Sell it to my brother? Please disclose if I should seek profit or break even/come out lower. 5 12.20%
Sell car to other guy? 36 87.80%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-02-2010, 06:25 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Project84
To all of those saying "Don't enable," how do you feel about selling to him though?
It's fine so long as it's more than a token amount changing hands. It has to be realistic/fair. Say the value of the car is $1000, but to get that you'd have to list it, wait for buyers, waste time, let people test drive it, haggle, whatever. For a quick sale you could get, say, 80% of that, or $800. For a REALLY quick sale you could get, say, $750. So you offer your brother the car for the 75% of the max value you could derive, plus an additional discount for not having to haggle, so $700. But it's a one-time, limited-time, crap-now-or-get-off-the-pot, ain't coming back, snooze and lose, offer. Any time after that he's welcome to buy it for the market price, but you're giving it to him for a low price (benefits him) and you're giving him right of first refusal in exchange for saving yourself some time and headaches.

However, selling the car for, say, 50% or less of its value becomes a token amount exchange and is really no different from giving it away in terms of lessons learned.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:35 PM   #22
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Seems to me you are asking for opinions because you want to sell it to the other guy, and want us to tell you its ok.

Its OK.

I have been down this road before, not with a brother, but with a VERY close friend. Close to the same story, he discovered weed. Then shacked up with a chick with 2 kids and no job, and sure enough next he is calling me to borrow tools to fix his car. Tools he then "loaned" to someone else, ect ect. **** it man, alot of potheads are very happy living that way. I know quite a few who are. You give him that car and you will be involved with it for months (until it dies). Sell it and it is out of your hair.

I am not going to pass judgement on your brother, that's your call. but there really is no point in giving it to him if you already know he will just kill it.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:38 PM   #23
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sell it.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:38 PM   #24
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Flip a coin. leave it to fate!
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:39 PM   #25
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I visualize the car being worth $600-700 (what running, stopping, turning, clean title, car isn't worth at least $500?). I was selling for $400 because the guy wanting it knows I bought it for $125... haha So I was thinking, profit is profit, oh well. He was also a sure-sale.

The car has $250 worth of new struts/shocks and brakes on it that I put on with the previous owner (a friend) about 2 months before I bought it. The interior looks showroom. Its unreal. I shampoo'd the carpets real well and detailed it. Needs tires.

I'm going to try calling my brother and see if he's even interested at $300. I have until Friday! Saturday I'll be in Cleveland, OH test driving another car I found on craigslist and visiting family up there.


Pics of car. Should've put these in post #1


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Old 03-02-2010, 06:46 PM   #26
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Hell, put it on craigslist for $1000 and take the first $600 in cash that shows up. Take your brother out to dinner, and tell him that's the last freebie he's getting from you. You won't pester him about past debts, that it's up to him to make right if he decides it's important to him. And stick to it.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:49 PM   #27
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Sell the car on Friday. Your brother can use public transport like millions of people.

Its fucked up but I wouldn't help him out until he gets his **** together. First step forget from the girl and 5 kids!
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Old 03-02-2010, 07:05 PM   #28
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live your life & let him live his, leave it at that, we could have all suffered the same fate but we made the right choices in life, for those that didn't its up to them to get it back together if they choose too, hand outs doesn't help the matter of getting back on track as they see if as a freebie either treating it as such (with no respect) or seeing their life falling into place with help along the way. Im not saying its not good to help friends & family but your brother clearly has a problem & needs to change for himself before he can better his life & respect the help he has received or is offered...

if nothing else is read out of my thread maybe try this......
SHOW HIM THIS THREAD & LET HIM SEE WHAT SOCIETY THINK OF PEOPLE LIKE HIM maybe this will inspire him enough to get his **** back together....
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Old 03-02-2010, 07:53 PM   #29
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I would honor the verbal deal that you have with the other guy. I know he isn't important, but a deal is a deal and you retain your honor. I really don't see your brother coming up with the $300 for it anyway so I think that option is a moot point.

Draw the line in the sand. You have to be choking on it by now having enough kicked in your face. Yeah, it's easy to be blunt when you aren't in your shoes but you asked. I'm basing this strictly on what I read in the thread. End the enabling. He needs to figure it out for himself, no one can do it for him.
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Old 03-02-2010, 08:30 PM   #30
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Cut that worthless leeching piece of **** out of your life.
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Old 03-02-2010, 08:35 PM   #31
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Some of you finooks have been taking rough love.
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Old 03-02-2010, 08:44 PM   #32
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That is lemons car, cage it and go to the track.

I don't believe you have to help out a loser just because he is related to you. That's not how a family works.
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:10 PM   #33
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If you promised it to the other guy, I would keep my word to him. I can relate because I had a cousin like that, I had given him a car and "loaned" him about 1000 dollars. After that he called and said he didn't have gas 2 days later and i had given it to him on a full tank. I gave him more gas money and he promptly bought beer. Then tried to hit my mom up for money. Also, the 1000 dollars i lent him was in bits and pieces 100 here 200 here, and it just ended up being "man Ill get you next check i swear." When i was in a tight spot all i needed was 50 bucks, and he acted like why would I have the nerve to ask him for a small percentage back. Well, the moral of that was, i quit giving him money. He quit talking to me. Also, After all that money and a free car, (just from me, others gave him more) he didn't learn a thing. Your just feeding the monster if you give in..... again.
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:14 PM   #34
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I voted sell it. My brother is 22 and lives with our Mom still. Dropped out of college, no job. So I say **** him.
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:17 PM   #35
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My parents kicked me out of the house at 17. I have a good job as an Executive at a large multinational company, nice house, 5 cars, beautiful wife, 2 lovely kids, etc. I'm 28.

My sister who is four years behind me (24) was babied the whole way. She drives a pos 94 Accord, has tons of credit card dept, no job, lives with parents, and is still a freshman in college.

Tough love sucka...
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Old 03-02-2010, 11:16 PM   #36
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Lots of good advice in here guys. Thank you all.

I thought it would help but in this matter, I guess it's tougher than I thought.

I know now for sure that I won't give the car to him for free. I couldn't reach him tonight to ask if he's interested in it or not. I'll try again tomorrow and if I have no luck, I'll call it fate and just sell the car to the other guy.

I doubt anyone will come back in here for seconds, but if you see the pics, what would you pay for that car? I can't help but thinking I'm still giving it away at $400. Seems like $600-700 would still be a good deal. It run/drives fine. Rides like a cady, no exhaust leaks. If it had hub caps it would look a lot better.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:33 AM   #37
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Lower it
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:38 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Project84 View Post
I doubt anyone will come back in here for seconds, but if you see the pics, what would you pay for that car? I can't help but thinking I'm still giving it away at $400. Seems like $600-700 would still be a good deal. It run/drives fine. Rides like a cady, no exhaust leaks. If it had hub caps it would look a lot better.
$600 sounds right to me. It's clean, but it's also a turd. If you're talking about spending $800-1000, I'd wait for a dirty Honda or Toyota before I'd buy a clean Topaz.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:42 AM   #39
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WTF is so bad about living with parents.... oh wait Im hispanic NVM
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:32 AM   #40
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+1 on no enabling. +1 on tough love.
I have seen what endless enabling can do to someone and it is not pretty. He is going to have to figure out on his own why and how to get his act together. Bailing him out just continually delays that process.

All that being said, ultimately you have to make the call.
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