I'm typing this on my iPhone, so allow me to be brief.

While shitting, I'll often stand up and take a quick peek at each turd. I literally just did this and I didn't think anything was weird about it until this chick who's staying with me was like "wtf?"

Bros, what are some odd behaviors you exhibit on a regular basis?

I'm fascinated by my own poop, one day I will find that eight ball of coke I swallowed at the US-Canadian border.

 

I tend to get bored a lot or get restless and will make random noises as a result. Usually I am alone or out of earshot when I do it unless I am very comfortable with who I am around (i.e. family, fiance, close friends). However, other people have heard me many times when I just don't care and I always get a laugh and some comment along the lines of "WTF was that?" or "You're crazy man."

 

Dude, no way in hell would I ever be in the same space with somebody shitting. A bathroom stall is bad enough if there's somebody next to you.

Truly, it's fucked up to be taking a **** with your lady watching.

On the other hand... farting in front of strangers is always funny.

 

i randomly swear at things.. and if im imagining having an argument with someone ill mutter what im thinking by accident.. usually when im driving and with my brother or woman

 

Wiping technique: does anyone else lean on one cheek and reach around the opposite side to take care of the business? I only ask because I recently cracked a toilet seat doing this but I only weigh 150lb :(

 

i usually stand to wipe!!

 

she was on her back underneath the glass table I was straddling

 

and here comes the million dollar question... do you look at the paper after each wipe?

 

I do

 

I have a bidet

 

Sometimes I tuck back my dick and pretend I have a vajayjay. Is that weird?

 

Standing up and lookin at each turd is very wierd. I like to take my entire dump and then stand up and admire the whole masterpiece

 

We all drive Miatas, to the general public that's pretty odd behavior.

 

It's actually a very good idea to look at each and every bowel movement, to detect possibly alarming changes. These changes can be in odor, size, color, and form (watery, loose, formed, solid, rock, etc).

Poop can tell a lot about a patient. There's a song from Scrubs about it that's surprisingly and humorously accurate.

And good god I will never poop in front of my gf.

 

Sometimes when i poo it bleeds. Is that odd?

 

I experienced the same thing my first month living in Dublin. That was around the first time I got alcohol poisoning.

 

Whoa there... with the exception of color, I don't need to look at my **** to tell how it worked out. A 15 minute grunt-fest usually doesn't end with "watery"... if you smell what I'm cookin'.

I'm a big fan of fiber... I only really have maybe one **** a week that requires some work. The rest are a ten second effort at most, and require a quick one-wiper just for the backsplash. You all are doing something wrong. And I even eat at the base galley a few times a week.

 

Blood in poo can mean a couple different things. Again, color matters. Bright red blood means it's very close to the anus, like a sore on your bottom, or hemorrhoids. Darker blood or black poo has essentially been "mixed" with poo along your digestive tract, and can be an indication of a much more serious GI bleed. If it continues, I'd get it checked out ASAP. Especially if it seems to come with looser stools (again, all about the consistency). Your stomach and bowel do NOT like blood. Enough of it, and you'll vomit (upper GIB), or have very black, loose stools (lower GIB).

 

Hustler has done a pretty good job avoiding this thread

 

I talk to inanimate objects, check every poo, am ---- about my toilet paper(no pun intended). 6 squares is the perfect amount. Fold it in half, then fold it in half. You end up with 1.5 squares wide, and 4 layers thick, perfect amount.


Seriously you cant say the word a|\|al?