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Old 12-29-2007, 01:48 PM   #1
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As part of the law school admissions process, we are required to submit a short essay in response to the following prompt (or one like it):
PERSONAL STATEMENT - The Levin College of Law seeks to enroll a class with varied backgrounds and interests. Such diversity contributes to the learning environment of the law school, and historically has produced graduates who have served all segments of society and who have become leaders in many fields of law.

To better assess these qualities, the college requires each applicant to write a personal statement not to exceed four double-spaced pages in a font no smaller than 12 pt. This statement, written by the applicant, may include, but is not limited to, information regarding career goals, interests, unique abilities, life experiences, academic and non-academic activities and public service.
If anybody here has nothing better to do, I'd like you to read and critique what I've written. Looking for both mechanical defects (grammar, punctuation, spelling) as well as overall tone and style.

Here's a link: http://miatajoe.50megs.com/essay.html

TIA.
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:46 PM   #2
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When do you need this done by? My brother and cousin are laywers, ill have them read it over.
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:58 PM   #3
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Well, Levin's app deadline is Jan 15, most of the others I'm looking at are mid-Feb.
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Old 12-30-2007, 09:48 AM   #4
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Good story. I found it very interesting, but I don't have any credibility when it comes to college entrance. Use your spellcheck; I noticed one misspelling of "settled"
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Old 12-30-2007, 10:00 AM   #5
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Fixed, thanks.
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Old 12-30-2007, 10:02 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
As part of the law school admissions process, we are required to submit a short essay in response to the following prompt (or one like it):
PERSONAL STATEMENT - The Levin College of Law seeks to enroll a class with varied backgrounds and interests. Such diversity contributes to the learning environment of the law school, and historically has produced graduates who have served all segments of society and who have become leaders in many fields of law.

To better assess these qualities, the college requires each applicant to write a personal statement not to exceed four double-spaced pages in a font no smaller than 12 pt. This statement, written by the applicant, may include, but is not limited to, information regarding career goals, interests, unique abilities, life experiences, academic and non-academic activities and public service.
If anybody here has nothing better to do, I'd like you to read and critique what I've written. Looking for both mechanical defects (grammar, punctuation, spelling) as well as overall tone and style.

Here's a link: http://miatajoe.50megs.com/essay.html

TIA.
Can I get that first link in Word?
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Old 12-30-2007, 10:20 AM   #7
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OK; I'll start off the lawyer jokes:

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
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Old 12-30-2007, 10:24 AM   #8
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OK; I'll start off the lawyer jokes:

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!

Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
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Old 12-30-2007, 11:22 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Racer46 View Post
A good start!

Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
Professional courtesy.

BTW, Joe - you left out the very important turbo-Miata parts.
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Old 12-30-2007, 12:00 PM   #10
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A lawyer was standing in a long line to get tickets for a play. Suddenly, he felt the hands of the man behind him, kneading into his back. He turned and gave the man a stern look, and the kneading stopped. But a few minutes later, he again felt the man's hands on his back.
"Excuse me," the lawyer asked, "But why are you touching my back?"

"I'm a chiropractor," the man replied, "and I sometimes I can't keep myself from practicing my skills."

"Get control of yourself," the lawyer shot back. "I'm an attorney, and you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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