Problem with geese
 

At work, we have a fairly large manicured lawn. Also some bushes, mostly yews. Of course, the geese love the place, and shit all over. If you've never seen goose shit, it's nasty. Recently, a pair has moved in, and become quite agressive. We had the same thing happen last year, but they vacated when the maintenance guy speared one with a steel sign post - not killing it, unfortunately. The survivor decided to move after one of them was run over in the parking lot. No one know who did it, but I had been trying to do the same thing myself.

Management, naturally, will do nothing about it (protected). Today I watched as a coworker was chased by one, coming inches from biting him in the back of the neck. Flying fucking attack bird. I will not tolerate being chased by some damned bird just going to work in the morning.

I tried to run them over last year, but was unsuccessful. I tried agin this evening in the rain, but didn't want to tear up the lawn (thus leaving evidence). So, I need another method. Simple intimidation works to keep them at bay, but I'd rather not have to look like a complete retard every day.

Firearms are out, as it's within town limits. As are bow (I deer hunt) and other means such as spears. I'm thinking something less obtrusive. Will an airsoft cause enough pain/discomfort to dissuade them? Is there some chemical (i.e. supersoaker) that will cause them to leave without invoking the superfund toxic cleanup crew?

Do what they do here in Seattle. Gas em. You could get a airsoft gun and try it out. Get a high powered AEG with some .25 bio bb's and unload on them every time you see em (you want something that shoots over 380 fps). Personally id shoot em with a real gun if they started chasing me.

This man?

http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery...ese-howard.jpg

Buy two of these and prepare for battle.

(actually rattan would still destroy geese, be faster, and cheaper)

I had a Miata friend who lived by a lake. His yard was chocked full of really nasty goose shit. He solved the problem by putting a string up (image a fence) about 6-8" high. Believe it or not, it keeps the geese out. They are too lazy or stupid to jump over it. This is the only time I have seen this but I bet you could google it for more info.

Makesome Border Collie's life complete, they live for this shit:

http://www.carmelmagazine.com/images...ky-the-dog.jpg

24 bucks for a stick?

Yeah, I used to work for a company that had a fire pond in front of the building. They hired some guy to come out with his dog to chase them away. Best trained dog I ever saw, and he obviously enjoyed doing it, too.

Not just any stick. Philippine hardwood! :bowrofl:

The guy who lives across the road from us is the greenskeeper for a local golf course. He has a dog (my wife says it is a "something pointer in the name") that keeps the geese off the course. I regularly jump on my Z50 and chase the dog around. That bastard has no problem outrunning me at 25-30 MPH all day long. The guy says his dog runs top speed chasing the geese all day and never gets tired.

You're a fucking bastard and I hope you crash into a tree while trying to run them down. Learn to share the fucking world you prick.

For real.....GO find a tree to hug in BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, surely no animals or plants were harmed in the process of building your great home town? :jerkit:

Goose shit is nasty and I have to put up with it every day at school. The pond in front of the school always draws them, and they are fucking loud and annoying, walking around shitting everywhere and getting in the road. If my tiny fag car wouldn't take damage even from such a small bird, I would also try to run them down. I'm not a bird friendly person at all. Especially loud ones that sit in a tree outside my window in the morning and won't shut the fuck up and go away. Only thing more annoying than a bird is a bug. So when I rule the world, I will fuck the ecosystem and exterminate every bug on earth, which fortunately in return will do away with most smaller species of bird. Birds of prey are fine, they kill shit and look cool.

I just have to know, are you toothless? Sometimes I think it is obvious, but I thought I would ask, just to make sure.

Are you 80 and from New York, bought a Miata during you mid-life crisis, moved to Florida when you retired? Wear hawaiian shirt on a daily basis and cruise around top down all day with nowhere to go just because you're so lonely at home that you have to go make yourself fell better?

Just thought I'd ask.

Nope, you missed that by I long shot. A noble good try though.

No. Would you like to be? What does me not liking birds have to do with my dental history. I don't follow your retarded comment.

Do you drink heavily and beat your wife, and drive a truck with 15 friends in the back on your way to work? I saw you are a landscaper, just had to know. :loser: See, at least mine has basis.

You're from Alabama, clearly you're an toothless inbred hick redneck..didn't you know? Roll over in your bed and ask your cousin how many teeth you have, hopefully she can count that high.

:giggle: I know this. A few years ago during a trip to New York for my uncles wedding, I had people ask me if we had running water. No motherfucker, we take our baths in the creek, of course that is after we shoot us a possum for supper. Moms gonna cook it up real good fer us. :hustler:

You shoot your possum in Birmingham? Up in Huntsville/Decatur they usually just drive around for a while with a shovel and wait to find a nice flat one, saves the $.40 or so the bullet would cost and the meat's pre-tenderized.

Maybe in Huntsville they do, we have a little class here in the salty ham, geez. The bullet wasn't $.40 though, it was a reload I melted down from my grandfathers collection of Confederate civil war bullets. THE CONFEDERACY WILL RISE AGAIN!!! YEEE HAWWW!

And for the record, Miata2Fast shouldn't really be saying shit. I Have spent my fair share of time in Florida and they have their fair share of toothless rednecks. Only difference is the sunburn and flip flops. *cough* Of course I have to leave the private fenced neighborhood where the beach house is to see this. We be high class rednecks with money! Dangerous! :giggle:

/Thread

Indeed /thread. Not sure I would want to risk getting thrown in jail over a nasty fucking goose though.

You have talked enough shit to me. Learn to take it like a man.

I've talked shit to you? Don't recall that, but OK. If you haven't noticed, I talk a little shit to just about everyone, so don't feel too special. Take it like a man. ;)

I still have not purchased my tax stamp or sound reducer (not really a silencer - back to the clip vs magazine thing <G>) but I have been at the range when someone shot a P22 with a reducer on it. Pretty impressive...

Grow up. Make car fast. Profit.

Did it have any effect on the accuracy, or did you notice? Not that a .22 tiny pistol has any to begin with. Of course it's not like I have any real use for such a thing outside of the cool factor.

:cry: Go bolt on an exhaust and gain a second or something... Jesus. :giggle:

A sound reducer does not have any effect on accuracy since they are not a barrel or an extension of it (they are not the same internal size of the barrel). I have no proof of that, it is just what I have read. Actually, the only proof I offer is that I have a friend who said they kill the accuracy. Since he is 100% wrong on every single statement he has ever uttered about firearms I would think that he was wrong on that as well. I have personally seen him jam a revolver - how in the hell do you do that???

Yeah, that's a good point. I always hear the "suppressors kill accuracy" statement from people. But thinking about it now, I don't see how it would. Unless the brief time it is passing through, the small air gap between the bullet and the inner wall somehow drags it off center ever so slightly. But again, it's not like I or most other people would have a real use for it outside of showing off to a friend or something. Unless you are a hired hit man, but I doubt you would use a P22 in that case anyway.

They reduce range SLIGHTLY but negligible considering the range of a .22 to begin with. Dad has a "suppressed, silenced, whatever" Ruger Mk2 and that thing is a freakin tack driver, I used to take it with me int he woods when I was out for deer when I was 14-15 and fuck with squirrels with it when I got too bored (you've never seen something as funny as shooting 3-4inches in front of a squirrel climbing a tree then repeating the process over and over as he turns around and bolts the opposite direction on said tree.)

Squirrels are fun to mess with. I have a little rat terrier that loves to play with them too, after the fall out of the tree. A lot of the time though, I won't kill them, I will just mess with them with an old, very worn out, underpowered Red Ryder. BB's barely reach the tops of the pine trees, but it hits them hard enough that they run like hell. I pop off as many rounds as I can before they get out of my range. Little nasty furry tree rats.

1" dowel about 36" long, aim for the goose's head like you are playing t-ball again. And even if you hit the t instead of the ball, you still win at goose-killing. Unlike t-ball, where if you hit the t, the ball would just roll off and you'd stand there not knowing if you should try to run to first base or not. And then the damn coach's kid would make fun of you when you got back to the dugout because you suck at t-ball and your hat bill is flat not curved like his hat bill and your hat pushes your ears down funny.

:bowrofl: Somebody had a rough childhood.

I love this thread so much! :laugh:

I seriously hated that kid. He also made fun of my socks, because my parents just bought the socks with the stripes printed on them instead of real stirrups, and also one practice he cracked me in the head with a bat when he started goofing off too close to the bench. And he got to play 2B and I played nothing but RF.

I play city league softball now and I like to imagine that the other team is full of "coach's kids"...it's good healthy motivation.

I "played" T-ball when I was little. The FIRST game after my mom had bought me all of the gear, I don't even think I ever got up to bat, I told my mom I wanted to go home and play in the sandbox. Never been a baseball fan since. :giggle: I find it boring, even then I guess.

mgeoffriau, that was hillarious.

After my attempted homicide by Jeep last night, the geese ran when they saw me pull in this morning. No chance to run them over.

faeflora, I am a human. Top of the food chain. Geese could have moved in on the other side, and not messed with me and been fine. They decided to be agressive, so I will make sure that that becomes an evolutionary dead end.

:giggle: I would have no problem with birds if they quit shitting on my stuff, shut their big loud mouths and in the case of geese, stopped chasing people. The other day I had to wash my car because right on the driver door handle area there was a massive pile of shit where it looked like several birds sat in the tree above the car and shit for hours. Washed it and the next day, they came back and shit all over the trunk. :vash: Wanted to wait out there for them with my shotgun, but I don't think my neighbors would appreciate that.

Animal abuse is just so fucking hilarious. Unsubscribing.

Boohoo, animal abuse! Don't let the door hit you in the ass. :giggle:

To be honest I knew someone would mention about the 'silencer' label, and I searched youtube for "p22 suppressor' but didn't really find a good short video clip.

Speaking of "clip" vs "magazine.." ;)

I was taught there is a difference and for some reason it actually annoys me when people label a pistol or rifle ammunition magazine as a 'clip.' Following photo illustrates, plus gave me an lulz.

http://sleekupload.com/uploads_jpg/2...91408_5231.jpg

From what I've learned the term 'clip' came from the WWII M1 Garand's en bloc clip, but stopped to think it might've actually gone back to WW1 1903 Springfield device.. but can't say for sure.

I'm so pissed about not getting my Grandfathers M1. :vash:

What, you're canceling your subscription?

Yes, there is a difference between a clip and a magazine, which is why it annoys me also. Like calling an alternator a generator.

For attacking geese, this would work:
Sjambok : Whip, Fighting, Self Defense (Cold Steel)

Or you could just unscrew your antenna and use that. :giggle:

or a motor an engine....

No abuse. Death.

Seriously, the suggestion of using strings or wire to make an inobtrusive short fence to keep them away from where you don't want them works. Look into it. Humane, effective and cheap. Boring? Sure, but do you really need the Karma from bashing geese around the head and neck with a stick? If we didn't build all the industrial parks in prime geese habitat we wouldn't have this problem.

I think an industrial park is a little more important than a few geese. They fly, they can go somewhere else and stand around and shit and make loud noises. I'm all for preservation and habitat and all of that, but this isn't one of those cases I care about. then again, like I said earlier I hate birds, so I guess I'm going to be that way.

I bet you still suck at it even after the motivation :giggle:

i used to play t ball with my mums turkey, thing used to duck & start chasing me again so it was more like curve ball with a ball that chased you.....
:crx:

Use one of these... Then the cops won't be able to tell the difference.

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/...eme-second.jpg

/thread

Harsh. I'm a baller, I can ground out to 2B as professionally as anybody.

Attachment 199115

:bowrofl:

Really? You get pecked as a kid? A goose at the petting zoo screw with you? An Emu take you down and have its way with you?

Sure the bird crap is annoying, both the goose stuff on the ground and the little stuff that hits our cars, but other than the occasional agressive goose trying to protect territory what harm are they? What generated such strong negative feelings about things most people enjoy?

I'm not some flaming liberal a-hole about this either. I'm a bird hunter and as a preteen and teenager slaughtered plenty of back yard birdies in the name of fun. I'm also not saying we shouldn't build industrial parks, just they are often built in flight patterns and traditional resting or feeding spots. Of course geese will be a problem when you do that. Who created the problem? Not the geese.

looking good ;) wtf is 2b?? we play aussie rules in australia :noob:

Is that like a dumbed-down version for the criminal classes?

Well I posted why in an earlier page. They do nothing positive for me, they sit outside my window and chirp and make all kinds of annoying noises while I try to sleep, they shit on my car, they shit on me (about 2 or 3 times in 5 years), and just generally serve no purpose other than giving boring retired people something to take pictures of, and they are nasty. Only thing I like them for is eating. There are other creatures I hate far worse, but since the topic is birds, I spread my feeling of love for them.

I agree it is there habitat that we are invading, but a few geese vs an industrial park where thousands of people could work (don't know the location). But yeah, there are probably better ways to keep them away than hitting them with sticks or cars. A goose would only get one time chasing and pecking at me before I whip around and grab it by it's neck and twist it off. Especially while I was at work maybe wearing a good pair of pants.

Speaking of tasty birds, I'm going to have to find someone to go hunting with, or get someone to bring me some fresh quail or dove some time. Smokes with a strip of bacon wrapped around, MMMM!

PS, if this is about my post on the first page about killing all of the birds, that was said mostly jokingly. I wouldn't cry if most of the smaller birds died though. Not sure what species, but certain ones just REALLY get on my nerves. I like peace and quit, and all I hear around my yard is loud goddamn birds making all kinds of stupid noises. I'd rather hear the wind through the trees, or something a little more "steady". A lot of people like the sound of birds, I don't.

So you are saying birds, telemarketers and politicians are pretty much the same!


Dove hunting on dirt roads, 40 miles an hour, shotguns out the windows, birds roosting on telephone wires with the sound track to Apacolypse Now on the stereo is some good fun right there. Not that I've ever done that of course...

I guess they are. I hate them just as much or more than birds. I kind think of a few politicians I would rather hit with a stick or with my car, than birds.

:giggle: Sounds like good fun. I haven't been bird hunting in close to 10 years. I shoot skeet (aw skeet skeet) every now and then, so I'm probably not too rusty.

Birds are gone, for now. After the head honcho was nearly bitten, animal control was called. They netted them (looked like a blanket sized fishing net), and took them away. They are supposed to be getting tagged and released.

BTW, I would not have resorted to "hand-to-hand" combat. the most I would have done was run them over. Or shoot them, if I had an airsoft.

Hand-to-hand combat could have been fun... As long as you had video, of course.