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Old 03-22-2010, 08:45 PM   #1
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Default Problem with geese

At work, we have a fairly large manicured lawn. Also some bushes, mostly yews. Of course, the geese love the place, and **** all over. If you've never seen goose ****, it's nasty. Recently, a pair has moved in, and become quite agressive. We had the same thing happen last year, but they vacated when the maintenance guy speared one with a steel sign post - not killing it, unfortunately. The survivor decided to move after one of them was run over in the parking lot. No one know who did it, but I had been trying to do the same thing myself.

Management, naturally, will do nothing about it (protected). Today I watched as a coworker was chased by one, coming inches from biting him in the back of the neck. Flying ******* attack bird. I will not tolerate being chased by some damned bird just going to work in the morning.

I tried to run them over last year, but was unsuccessful. I tried agin this evening in the rain, but didn't want to tear up the lawn (thus leaving evidence). So, I need another method. Simple intimidation works to keep them at bay, but I'd rather not have to look like a complete retard every day.

Firearms are out, as it's within town limits. As are bow (I deer hunt) and other means such as spears. I'm thinking something less obtrusive. Will an airsoft cause enough pain/discomfort to dissuade them? Is there some chemical (i.e. supersoaker) that will cause them to leave without invoking the superfund toxic cleanup crew?
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:51 PM   #2
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Do what they do here in Seattle. Gas em. You could get a airsoft gun and try it out. Get a high powered AEG with some .25 bio bb's and unload on them every time you see em (you want something that shoots over 380 fps). Personally id shoot em with a real gun if they started chasing me.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:03 PM   #3
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This man?

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Old 03-22-2010, 09:16 PM   #4
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Buy two of these and prepare for battle.

(actually rattan would still destroy geese, be faster, and cheaper)
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:17 PM   #5
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I had a Miata friend who lived by a lake. His yard was chocked full of really nasty goose ****. He solved the problem by putting a string up (image a fence) about 6-8" high. Believe it or not, it keeps the geese out. They are too lazy or stupid to jump over it. This is the only time I have seen this but I bet you could google it for more info.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:18 PM   #6
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Makesome Border Collie's life complete, they live for this ****:

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Old 03-22-2010, 09:22 PM   #7
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24 bucks for a stick?
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:23 PM   #8
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Yeah, I used to work for a company that had a fire pond in front of the building. They hired some guy to come out with his dog to chase them away. Best trained dog I ever saw, and he obviously enjoyed doing it, too.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:24 PM   #9
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24 bucks for a stick?
Not just any stick. Philippine hardwood!
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:48 PM   #10
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The guy who lives across the road from us is the greenskeeper for a local golf course. He has a dog (my wife says it is a "something pointer in the name") that keeps the geese off the course. I regularly jump on my Z50 and chase the dog around. That bastard has no problem outrunning me at 25-30 MPH all day long. The guy says his dog runs top speed chasing the geese all day and never gets tired.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:12 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by rleete View Post
At work, we have a fairly large manicured lawn. Also some bushes, mostly yews. Of course, the geese love the place, and **** all over. If you've never seen goose ****, it's nasty. Recently, a pair has moved in, and become quite agressive. We had the same thing happen last year, but they vacated when the maintenance guy speared one with a steel sign post - not killing it, unfortunately. The survivor decided to move after one of them was run over in the parking lot. No one know who did it, but I had been trying to do the same thing myself.

Management, naturally, will do nothing about it (protected). Today I watched as a coworker was chased by one, coming inches from biting him in the back of the neck. Flying ******* attack bird. I will not tolerate being chased by some damned bird just going to work in the morning.

I tried to run them over last year, but was unsuccessful. I tried agin this evening in the rain, but didn't want to tear up the lawn (thus leaving evidence). So, I need another method. Simple intimidation works to keep them at bay, but I'd rather not have to look like a complete retard every day.

Firearms are out, as it's within town limits. As are bow (I deer hunt) and other means such as spears. I'm thinking something less obtrusive. Will an airsoft cause enough pain/discomfort to dissuade them? Is there some chemical (i.e. supersoaker) that will cause them to leave without invoking the superfund toxic cleanup crew?
You're a ******* bastard and I hope you crash into a tree while trying to run them down. Learn to share the ******* world you *****.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:15 PM   #12
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You're a ******* bastard and I hope you crash into a tree while trying to run them down. Learn to share the ******* world you *****.
For real.....GO find a tree to hug in BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, surely no animals or plants were harmed in the process of building your great home town?
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:23 PM   #13
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Goose **** is nasty and I have to put up with it every day at school. The pond in front of the school always draws them, and they are ******* loud and annoying, walking around shitting everywhere and getting in the road. If my tiny *** car wouldn't take damage even from such a small bird, I would also try to run them down. I'm not a bird friendly person at all. Especially loud ones that sit in a tree outside my window in the morning and won't shut the **** up and go away. Only thing more annoying than a bird is a bug. So when I rule the world, I will **** the ecosystem and exterminate every bug on earth, which fortunately in return will do away with most smaller species of bird. Birds of prey are fine, they kill **** and look cool.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:49 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy View Post
Goose **** is nasty and I have to put up with it every day at school. The pond in front of the school always draws them, and they are ******* loud and annoying, walking around shitting everywhere and getting in the road. If my tiny *** car wouldn't take damage even from such a small bird, I would also try to run them down. I'm not a bird friendly person at all. Especially loud ones that sit in a tree outside my window in the morning and won't shut the **** up and go away. Only thing more annoying than a bird is a bug. So when I rule the world, I will **** the ecosystem and exterminate every bug on earth, which fortunately in return will do away with most smaller species of bird. Birds of prey are fine, they kill **** and look cool.
I just have to know, are you toothless? Sometimes I think it is obvious, but I thought I would ask, just to make sure.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:56 PM   #15
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I just have to know, are you toothless? Sometimes I think it is obvious, but I thought I would ask, just to make sure.
Are you 80 and from New York, bought a Miata during you mid-life crisis, moved to Florida when you retired? Wear hawaiian shirt on a daily basis and cruise around top down all day with nowhere to go just because you're so lonely at home that you have to go make yourself fell better?

Just thought I'd ask.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:06 AM   #16
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Are you 80 and from New York, bought a Miata during you mid-life crisis, moved to Florida when you retired? Wear hawaiian shirt on a daily basis and cruise around top down all day with nowhere to go just because you're so lonely at home that you have to go make yourself fell better?

Just thought I'd ask.
Nope, you missed that by I long shot. A noble good try though.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:09 AM   #17
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I just have to know, are you toothless? Sometimes I think it is obvious, but I thought I would ask, just to make sure.
No. Would you like to be? What does me not liking birds have to do with my dental history. I don't follow your retarded comment.

Do you drink heavily and beat your wife, and drive a truck with 15 friends in the back on your way to work? I saw you are a landscaper, just had to know. See, at least mine has basis.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:11 AM   #18
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No. Would you like to be? What does me not liking birds have to do with my dental history. I don't follow your retarded comment.
You're from Alabama, clearly you're an toothless inbred hick redneck..didn't you know? Roll over in your bed and ask your cousin how many teeth you have, hopefully she can count that high.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:14 AM   #19
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You're from Alabama, clearly you're an toothless inbred hick redneck..didn't you know? Roll over in your bed and ask your cousin how many teeth you have, hopefully she can count that high.
I know this. A few years ago during a trip to New York for my uncles wedding, I had people ask me if we had running water. No ************, we take our baths in the creek, of course that is after we shoot us a possum for supper. Moms gonna cook it up real good fer us.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:16 AM   #20
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I know this. A few years ago during a trip to New York for my uncles wedding, I had people ask me if we had running water. No ************, we take our baths in the creek, of course that is after we shoot us a possum for supper. Moms gonna cook it up real good fer us.
You shoot your possum in Birmingham? Up in Huntsville/Decatur they usually just drive around for a while with a shovel and wait to find a nice flat one, saves the $.40 or so the bullet would cost and the meat's pre-tenderized.
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