theft alert: Pearl BRG hardtop in Little Rock
06-05-2009, 12:13 PM
#44
Boost Pope
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This kinda got me to thinking about the best way to exact horrible revenge upon someone who had wronged you in this fashion. It's not something I've put a lot of thought into in the past, but it really is a fascinating subject.
Take the Romans, for instance. When they put someone to death, they managed to combine both showmanship and prolonged agony into a spectacle event worthy of ticket sales. You gotta figure that while the lions were eating the Christians that there were probably hotdog and beer vendors walking up and down the steps of the coliseum. And a good mass crucifixion? Heck- a street level event like that probably drew t-shirt vendors and cotton-candy machines.
The Spaniards had a pretty good go of it as well. A part of me however thinks that they got too wrapped up in the technology and forgot that torture was supposed to be a bring-the-kids sort of affair. Ok, so they occasionally broke heretics upon the wheel, but so many of the affairs of the inquisition were carried out behind closed doors.
And the French? ****. Why go through all the trouble of overthrowing the monarchy if you're just going to execute the whole cabinet in the most humane way possible?
No, I'm talking about a return to grass-roots punishment that makes Mr. Blonde, Marsellus Wallace and Beatrix Kiddo look like a bunch of girl scouts.
If we assume that you already have the perp in custody and suitably restrained (eg: tied to a chair), then I think I would only require one tool, a common MAPP-gas torch with an adjustable nozzle.
You start at the feet. Singe the skin at both the top and the sole. Not enough to destroy it. Then you turn up the gas flow and do the toes. This time you actually burn 'em off one by one. I've never tried this, but I am assuming that the flame will tend to automatically cauterize the wounds, preventing undue loss of blood.
Hands next. Same drill.
Pause for a moment. Turn the gas back down and do a little work on the scalp, ears, and face. Nothing too serious. (Don't want to blind him just yet.)
Gas back to full, back to the bottom, remove the feet at the ankles. After burning through the tarsal and tibiofibular ligaments, they should come right off with little effort.
Ditto the hands.
Gas back down again, direct the flame into the ear canal so as to rupture the tympanic membrane, causing both deafness and extreme nausea. Careful- the brain is back there and we don't want a drooling vegetable here.
At this point, I'd shift gears and do a bit of light work on the gentleman's parts. Nothing too serious. Perhaps just enough to cause the ******* to rupture, exposing the contents.
If it hasn't happened already, I'm guessing that unconsciousness is a likely possibility at this point. I would consider this an opportunity to rest and re-hydrate the perpetrator, preferably using Gatorade or similar electrolyte-replenishing drink. If you happen to be really good friends with a nurse, a nasogastric tube would be ideal at this point. If not, just use a clothes-pin and a funnel. Remember- the goal here is specifically not to cause death, and while blood loss to this point should be relatively minimal, there is likely to be considerable dehydration.
Now we can start to get serious about the abdomen. Using a light flame, cover small areas in a slow, circular fashion, similar to waxing a car. The idea being not to completely remove the skin, but merely to inflict third degree burns over a large area. This effort could be divided over several sessions, interspersed with the other activities.
At some point, the arms & legs are going to have to come off. Completely. This may take a while even using a high flame, so multiple canisters of fuel may be necessary. As before, the idea would be to disarticulate the limbs at the joint so that the bones separate naturally. At the arm, it should be possible to distend the shoulder and separate the humeral head from the scapula by removing the coracohumeral and glenohumeral ligaments. I'm not quite as familiar with the anatomy of the hip. Due to the proximity of vital organs within the pelvic cavity, it might be necessary to char the proximal femur until it can be easily fractured. Again- use caution and move slowly to minimize blood loss at every step.
At this point, we're pretty much finished with the first stage. Go ahead and remove the genetalia completely, and then blind the perp by heating the eyes until rupture.
At this point, the (hopefully living) perpetrator has been reduced to a limbless torso, blinded, deaf, and mostly covered in third degree burns.
For stage 2, drop him off in an area where he will be found and given medical attention. Allow him to live out the rest of his life in peace.
I cannot imagine a worse kind of hell.
Take the Romans, for instance. When they put someone to death, they managed to combine both showmanship and prolonged agony into a spectacle event worthy of ticket sales. You gotta figure that while the lions were eating the Christians that there were probably hotdog and beer vendors walking up and down the steps of the coliseum. And a good mass crucifixion? Heck- a street level event like that probably drew t-shirt vendors and cotton-candy machines.
The Spaniards had a pretty good go of it as well. A part of me however thinks that they got too wrapped up in the technology and forgot that torture was supposed to be a bring-the-kids sort of affair. Ok, so they occasionally broke heretics upon the wheel, but so many of the affairs of the inquisition were carried out behind closed doors.
And the French? ****. Why go through all the trouble of overthrowing the monarchy if you're just going to execute the whole cabinet in the most humane way possible?
No, I'm talking about a return to grass-roots punishment that makes Mr. Blonde, Marsellus Wallace and Beatrix Kiddo look like a bunch of girl scouts.
If we assume that you already have the perp in custody and suitably restrained (eg: tied to a chair), then I think I would only require one tool, a common MAPP-gas torch with an adjustable nozzle.
You start at the feet. Singe the skin at both the top and the sole. Not enough to destroy it. Then you turn up the gas flow and do the toes. This time you actually burn 'em off one by one. I've never tried this, but I am assuming that the flame will tend to automatically cauterize the wounds, preventing undue loss of blood.
Hands next. Same drill.
Pause for a moment. Turn the gas back down and do a little work on the scalp, ears, and face. Nothing too serious. (Don't want to blind him just yet.)
Gas back to full, back to the bottom, remove the feet at the ankles. After burning through the tarsal and tibiofibular ligaments, they should come right off with little effort.
Ditto the hands.
Gas back down again, direct the flame into the ear canal so as to rupture the tympanic membrane, causing both deafness and extreme nausea. Careful- the brain is back there and we don't want a drooling vegetable here.
At this point, I'd shift gears and do a bit of light work on the gentleman's parts. Nothing too serious. Perhaps just enough to cause the ******* to rupture, exposing the contents.
If it hasn't happened already, I'm guessing that unconsciousness is a likely possibility at this point. I would consider this an opportunity to rest and re-hydrate the perpetrator, preferably using Gatorade or similar electrolyte-replenishing drink. If you happen to be really good friends with a nurse, a nasogastric tube would be ideal at this point. If not, just use a clothes-pin and a funnel. Remember- the goal here is specifically not to cause death, and while blood loss to this point should be relatively minimal, there is likely to be considerable dehydration.
Now we can start to get serious about the abdomen. Using a light flame, cover small areas in a slow, circular fashion, similar to waxing a car. The idea being not to completely remove the skin, but merely to inflict third degree burns over a large area. This effort could be divided over several sessions, interspersed with the other activities.
At some point, the arms & legs are going to have to come off. Completely. This may take a while even using a high flame, so multiple canisters of fuel may be necessary. As before, the idea would be to disarticulate the limbs at the joint so that the bones separate naturally. At the arm, it should be possible to distend the shoulder and separate the humeral head from the scapula by removing the coracohumeral and glenohumeral ligaments. I'm not quite as familiar with the anatomy of the hip. Due to the proximity of vital organs within the pelvic cavity, it might be necessary to char the proximal femur until it can be easily fractured. Again- use caution and move slowly to minimize blood loss at every step.
At this point, we're pretty much finished with the first stage. Go ahead and remove the genetalia completely, and then blind the perp by heating the eyes until rupture.
At this point, the (hopefully living) perpetrator has been reduced to a limbless torso, blinded, deaf, and mostly covered in third degree burns.
For stage 2, drop him off in an area where he will be found and given medical attention. Allow him to live out the rest of his life in peace.
I cannot imagine a worse kind of hell.
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06-05-2009, 12:21 PM
#45
This isn't the first time I've said this Joe:
I'm never going to **** you off.
While that much torture sounds great...it would be incredibly smelly, and I'm sure the perp would pass out at some point due to the shock of overloading and burning off nerve endings. I'm no expert...but I've heard the experts have to work hard to cause immense suffering while keeping the person conscious.
At least we have someone to experiment on now...if Hustler ever finds the bastige.
I'm never going to **** you off.
While that much torture sounds great...it would be incredibly smelly, and I'm sure the perp would pass out at some point due to the shock of overloading and burning off nerve endings. I'm no expert...but I've heard the experts have to work hard to cause immense suffering while keeping the person conscious.
At least we have someone to experiment on now...if Hustler ever finds the bastige.
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06-05-2009, 12:33 PM
#47
Joe you're forgetting 1 major thing tho. the human body will go into shock and the person will pass out and stop feeling the pain(at least you won't see them in pain)......you'll over load the pain receptors.
You should have Epi-pens readily available to pull them out of shock when applied to the heart, jugular, and femoral. that way they can't fall asleep because of the extra adrenaline.
I'm a firm believer if you're gonna do something, do it right lol
You should have Epi-pens readily available to pull them out of shock when applied to the heart, jugular, and femoral. that way they can't fall asleep because of the extra adrenaline.
I'm a firm believer if you're gonna do something, do it right lol
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06-05-2009, 12:35 PM
#48
Sorry for your loss. :(
As for disposal of un wanted suspects we a have a Tallow plant right behind us. It is a small known fact that the tallow plant is owned and operated by Italians. I have heard that a suspect fed into the grinder well beg for a quick death all the way to the waist. Then you get the satisfaction that the suspect will be used to make shampoo or make-up products. Could even be used to make glue.
As for disposal of un wanted suspects we a have a Tallow plant right behind us. It is a small known fact that the tallow plant is owned and operated by Italians. I have heard that a suspect fed into the grinder well beg for a quick death all the way to the waist. Then you get the satisfaction that the suspect will be used to make shampoo or make-up products. Could even be used to make glue.
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06-05-2009, 01:24 PM
#49
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The problem with MAPP gas is that it burns too hot for my tastes. Anything beyond second degree burns and you are risking loss of feeling.
And you didn't mention systematically burning away the lips and tongue. And the teeth. They are a personal favorite of mine.
And you didn't mention systematically burning away the lips and tongue. And the teeth. They are a personal favorite of mine.
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06-05-2009, 01:34 PM
#51
All this torch stuff is a little too hardcore. I'd go with a commercial deli slicer and rock salt.
While torture is great fun in theory it's tough to find someone with the stomach to actually carry it out. Vigilante justice is the way to go. The current criminal system does not take care of us citizens as it should. Car break-ins go pretty much ignored by the police and justice system. When people are caught it's a revolving door and fine. Whack em. Leave a note on them why they were killed. Won't take long for the "petty" criminals to see the error of their ways when a few of their associates turn up dead.
While torture is great fun in theory it's tough to find someone with the stomach to actually carry it out. Vigilante justice is the way to go. The current criminal system does not take care of us citizens as it should. Car break-ins go pretty much ignored by the police and justice system. When people are caught it's a revolving door and fine. Whack em. Leave a note on them why they were killed. Won't take long for the "petty" criminals to see the error of their ways when a few of their associates turn up dead.
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06-05-2009, 01:54 PM
#55
Boost Pope
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Chicago. (The less-murder part.)
Posts: 33,033
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The better MAPP torches have an adjustable nozzle which can be used to modulate the intensity of the flame. Remember that just as with a car's cooling system, it's not the absolute temperature so much as the total quantity of heat (and the rate of transfer of heat) that matters. By reducing the intensity of the flame and keeping it in motion, I would imagine that you can module the intensity of the burns with a satisfactory degree of precision.
The reason I chose MAPP is that you are going to need some serious heat to cut through the larger joints, and trying to do this with propane would just be tiresome. Oxy-Acetylene would actually be ideal here, but I'm deliberately trying to keep things as simple as possible.
Have you ever been inside the burn unit of a major hospital?
Now that's just cruel...
You're probably right about the passing out. If you insist that the criminal be conscious throughout the entire experience, then you might very well need to divide the treatment into several sessions. But to fixate on that aspect of the procedure is, in my opinion, missing the beauty of the larger picture.
The ultimate goal here, at least from my point of view, would be merely to ensure that the individual in question does not die. Regardless of whether he is able to remain conscious throughout the entirety of the first phase is relative inconsequential compared to the fact that upon the completion of the treatment, he will (if all goes well) have many years ahead to sit alone in silent contemplation of his crime, unable to perceive the world around him, a completely immobile mass of scar tissue. That, and not the actual procedure itself, is the worst thing I can possibly imagine.
On the other hand, I do appreciate the elegance of Cueball's "Whack 'em and leave a note" approach. You are wise to consider the secondary effects of such a hit, rather than focusing merely on one specific perpetrator.
The reason I chose MAPP is that you are going to need some serious heat to cut through the larger joints, and trying to do this with propane would just be tiresome. Oxy-Acetylene would actually be ideal here, but I'm deliberately trying to keep things as simple as possible.
Anything beyond second degree burns and you are risking loss of feeling.
And you didn't mention systematically burning away the lips and tongue. And the teeth. They are a personal favorite of mine.
The ultimate goal here, at least from my point of view, would be merely to ensure that the individual in question does not die. Regardless of whether he is able to remain conscious throughout the entirety of the first phase is relative inconsequential compared to the fact that upon the completion of the treatment, he will (if all goes well) have many years ahead to sit alone in silent contemplation of his crime, unable to perceive the world around him, a completely immobile mass of scar tissue. That, and not the actual procedure itself, is the worst thing I can possibly imagine.
On the other hand, I do appreciate the elegance of Cueball's "Whack 'em and leave a note" approach. You are wise to consider the secondary effects of such a hit, rather than focusing merely on one specific perpetrator.
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06-05-2009, 02:05 PM
#56
You leave the ears alone...(for those of us who were born before the 80s)
"Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."
"Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."
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06-05-2009, 02:08 PM
#58
Tour de Franzia
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Sorry for your loss. :(
As for disposal of un wanted suspects we a have a Tallow plant right behind us. It is a small known fact that the tallow plant is owned and operated by Italians. I have heard that a suspect fed into the grinder well beg for a quick death all the way to the waist. Then you get the satisfaction that the suspect will be used to make shampoo or make-up products. Could even be used to make glue.
As for disposal of un wanted suspects we a have a Tallow plant right behind us. It is a small known fact that the tallow plant is owned and operated by Italians. I have heard that a suspect fed into the grinder well beg for a quick death all the way to the waist. Then you get the satisfaction that the suspect will be used to make shampoo or make-up products. Could even be used to make glue.
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06-05-2009, 02:15 PM
#59
Yes Joe, you are one twisted individual. Just like we need 'em.
I've always pondered using a pair of vice grips on the finger to hold in place, then using a #11 exacto - cutting the finger to bone around the whole finger. Then take said vice grips and grab at the cut joint and pulling skin, muscle, nerves, and other assorted crap that just won't let go over the fingernail, leaving bone and cartilege. You could just yank all the way off, but that defeats the debate at the ER of whether they think they can save it or not.
Now the problem is the bleeding. Arteries pump quite a bit of blood out of a finger. The MAPP torch could then be used to cartarize incision and open passages thus minimizing the bloodletting.
Like I said, just pondered.....never implemented.
Hustler, just take the check from the ins. and source a CF race one with lexan for $1500 from Chaser Aero. He even has FG versions as well in the
$1K range.
I've always pondered using a pair of vice grips on the finger to hold in place, then using a #11 exacto - cutting the finger to bone around the whole finger. Then take said vice grips and grab at the cut joint and pulling skin, muscle, nerves, and other assorted crap that just won't let go over the fingernail, leaving bone and cartilege. You could just yank all the way off, but that defeats the debate at the ER of whether they think they can save it or not.
Now the problem is the bleeding. Arteries pump quite a bit of blood out of a finger. The MAPP torch could then be used to cartarize incision and open passages thus minimizing the bloodletting.
Like I said, just pondered.....never implemented.
Hustler, just take the check from the ins. and source a CF race one with lexan for $1500 from Chaser Aero. He even has FG versions as well in the
$1K range.
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06-05-2009, 03:02 PM
#60
You leave the ears alone...(for those of us who were born before the 80s)
"Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."
"Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."
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