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Old 11-02-2008, 05:44 PM   #1
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Default A very amusing kill story.

Finally, after 2.5 months of hobbling around on crutches, the orthopedic surgeon said that the fifth metatarsal bone in my left foot has started to heal (emphasis on started) so he fitted me with a large, rigid boot and gave me to OK to start walking on it:

I still use one crutch most of the time, as this thing is quite ungainly, and frankly my left leg is a bit wobbly after all this inactivity. But perhaps just as important as being able to walk is that I can finally drive my own car! Working the clutch isn't exactly easy (that friggin' boot is huge, and gets caught up on everything) but it's doable.

After sitting for so long, the battery was pretty near dead (it is 5 years old, after all) so I put a 1 amp charger on it yesterday, and this morning I rigged the hoist in the garage, pulled the hardtop off, and went for a drive. Nothing fancy, just down to the grocery store for some supplies. I tell you what- after such a long stretch of driving a POS Toyota Solara, getting behind the wheel of the Miata on a cool, clear Florida afternoon, with the sun on your head and CCR on the radio is amazing therapy.

On the way back home, I was headed northbound on US-41 at the north end of Port Charlotte. Came to an intersection where the light was red, just beyond which the right lane ends as the road narrows from three lanes to two. There's a big sign that says "LANE ENDS 600 FT", and as a result of this, nobody ever stops in that lane at the light.

As I rolled to the light, there were about 5 or 6 cars coming to a stop in the left and center lanes, with the right lane open as always. I saw that the lead car in the middle lane was a 5.0 Mustang convertible of what looked to be mid-90s vintage, driven by an early 20s Kid Rick-looking dude, complete with backwards baseball cap. As this was not a threat, I got over into the right lane, and when the light turned green, pulled ahead with Mr. Doesn't Understand How a Baseball Cap is Supposed to Work trying to keep up.

That's obviously not the kill story.

About a half-mile down the road, a newish Porsche Boxter S pulls alongside as I'm doing about 55. The Boxster had been two cars behind the Mustang at the light, and obviously witnessed my earlier exhibition of torque. It's driven by a well-tanned and balding middle-aged man who pauses for a few seconds, looks over to declare his intentions, then floors it. I do nothing and allow him to have a freebie.

As he slows, I then catch up, pull alongside, and establish eye contact with the man, a cocky grin on his face. We're cruising gently along at about 65 now, and I'm in 5'th. I pause, waiting for him to make the first move. Predictably, he slams on the gas again, at which point I shift down into fourth and hammer it. The Porsche got about a one carlength lead at the start, which quickly vanished as I began to walk away from from. I had about six carlengths by the time we crossed 120, so knowing that I was rapidly approaching the end of 5'th gear, I waved back to him and slowed back down to a pseudo-legal velocity. The Porsche pulls alongside, and the gentleman, with a much less cocky expression on his face, shouts over "That's a nice car, what kind of engine you got in that thing?" (I love it when people ask that.) I simply replied "Thanks, it's a one point six liter."


As much as there is not to like about Charlotte County, it does have a large supply of recently retired gentlemen who think their newly acquired sports cars are fast. And unlike SoCal, said cars tend not to be Ferraris.
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Old 11-02-2008, 06:06 PM   #2
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nice, maybe i missed the thread but what the hell did you do to your foot?
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Old 11-02-2008, 06:11 PM   #3
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Good read Joe, like always. Congrats on both kills, I was thinking you were going to spank some car, realize you were both headed to the same place, and then put the other driver to shame when you got out and he discovers he's lost to someone with something medical looking on his leg.
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Old 11-02-2008, 06:22 PM   #4
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gotta love dominating cars with 40x your cars cost......congrats on your foot progress
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Old 11-02-2008, 06:37 PM   #5
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Porsche owners are the best. Nice kill
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Old 11-02-2008, 07:17 PM   #6
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I raced a tt one back in my subaru. after I was ahead of him by 2 carlengths to 100, he pulls up and says:

"nice little toy, but at the end of the day im still driving a porsche and you're still driving a suby"

I gave him the thumbs up and said:

"whatever makes you sleep at night *******"

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Old 11-02-2008, 07:22 PM   #7
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i'da gone with "Whatever makes your dick seem bigger Peewee"
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Old 11-02-2008, 08:24 PM   #8
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Ummmm... since when were Boxters respectable? They're like Civics for people who want to look like they have money...and they're slow as ****. I bet Vanilla Ice's Mustang is faster

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Old 11-02-2008, 08:40 PM   #9
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I like boxsters. The S model is very respectable in my book. Anytime you can kill a sporty car costing 4 to 8 times the money it's worth crowing about. Boxsters, Caymans and M roadsters are my favorite victims. They seem to think German engineering = invincible.

Unless they do track days, none of the german car drivers give the Miata any respect. Those that do track their cars know when they see a lowered Miata with a roll bar that it might have some go too.

I had a hardcore Porsche guy give me major props just Friday with my car parked in front of my store. This guy's built a buick V8 914, has a 300hp 944 and a boxster as a daily driver. Saw my car with the lowered height, roll bar, 8" 6uls and guessed it was something special. The guys that track cars can be pretty cool. The posers are douchebags and deserve to get beat by a 1.6l chick car!!

Keep on kill'n em Joe!!!
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Old 11-02-2008, 08:59 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kotomile View Post
Good read Joe, like always. Congrats on both kills, I was thinking you were going to spank some car, realize you were both headed to the same place, and then put the other driver to shame when you got out and he discovers he's lost to someone with something medical looking on his leg.
there is a guy in town that has a very quick LX notch, with a 6-speed. the guy that owns it has a fake leg from about the thigh down and slams gears all night walking people
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:11 PM   #11
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Hehehe. I don't know about 40x, but a Boxster S is $56k and I think I've got about $11k in mine (including the car) so we'll call it 5x.

And the folks who chimed in saying "The Boxster S isn't a big deal" are correct. At 250 ft.lbs & 3,000 lbs, it's pretty logical that a 2,100 lb car producing upwards of 200/200 should walk away from it. That's why the thread title was "An amusing story" and not "OMGWTFBBQ I JUST THRASHED A KOENIGSEGG!!1!!1ONE!ONE" I just found it pleasing that it's my first day back on the road and already grown-ups in expensive cars are picking on me.

The funny thing is that back in CA I never really street-raced. For one thing, it's too damn easy in a place where you can hardly swing a cat without hitting a half-dozen fanbois in either stock "Special Edition" Mustangs with limo-black window tint or $2k Honda Civic DXs with $6k worth of I/H/E mods and unpainted, ill-fitting fiberglass body kits. And a Type R badge. And for the most part, those guys tend to pick on people driving stock "Special Edition" Dodge Chargers with limo-black window tint and/or other fanbois with $2k shitboxes. And the other problem is that street racing is the one moving violation that the local cops in north San Diego county actually seem to give a **** about. I think the only time I actually allowed myself to be dragged into such a contest was when I witnessed a doofus in a 300ZX who was already stoplight-racing another doofus in a Mercedes of some kind, and I decided to amuse myself with both of them at once.

Down here it's a whole 'nother scene. Instead of riceboys, you've got a lot of guys in their 60s who just retired, bought the sports car they've been dreaming of forever, bore their family and friends to death talking about it, own hats, socks, jackets, golf club covers, pens, sunglasses, luggage, cufflinks, mini-humidors, tie clasps, flashlights, mugs, keychains, umbrellas and small desk clocks with the manufacturer's logo on them, and think that makes it OK to wear thick gold chains and drive around in a silk shirt with the top four buttons unbuttoned while showing everyone else around them "How it's done."


The ones in Porsches are the most fun. Though any rate, the fellow took it in stride and was polite, so I acted in kind. However I have to admit that if he'd ponied up for the 997 Carrera S (or a Z06, of course) I wouldn't be giving chase...


Mach929, on Aug 16, I was unloading a Penske moving truck, with a deck height of about 4' or so, without using the ramp. As I was nearly done, I was just about to leap out of the back when I noticed several police officers escorting a black male in his late teens in handcuffs down the stairs of the apartment building I was just moving into. This caused me to become distracted, and I slipped out the back of the truck, with my left foot landing upon a concrete parking stop. The foot twisted sideways to the right and then conformed to the shape of the concrete stop, causing the head of the fifth metatarsal (the long bone on the outside of the foot) to be sheared off in what is known as a Jones fracture. It sucks.
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:26 PM   #12
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What CCR song was playing?
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:40 PM   #13
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There's a guy I go to school with who owns a Boxster, and definitely doesn't fit the mold of the pompous retiree. He actually gives the Miata a lot of respect, and lets me drive the Boxster once in awhile. I'll tell you, there's not a lot of power but there's grip and tactility for DAYS in those things.
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:46 PM   #14
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sounds like fun. no one ever tries to pull on me :(
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Old 11-03-2008, 01:10 AM   #15
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I briefly considered selling my turbo miata for a 2001 Boxster S... cool thing was the owner let me drive it in anger on some seriously nice twisties (Hwy 9 here). Even got it a big sideways.

The S was slower than my miata, handled about the same, but of course, rode nicer.

I then added a butterfly brace and door bars to my miata, and my hankering for a car with less chassis shudder went away...
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:03 AM   #16
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I had some twenty-something in a 993 Carrera with his GF in the passenger seat egg me on a few months back. He got a bit of a surprise (a full length from 40 to 60).
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:19 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
Down here it's a whole 'nother scene. Instead of riceboys, you've got a lot of guys in their 60s who just retired, bought the sports car they've been dreaming of forever, bore their family and friends to death talking about it, own hats, socks, jackets, golf club covers, pens, sunglasses, luggage, cufflinks, mini-humidors, tie clasps, flashlights, mugs, keychains, umbrellas and small desk clocks with the manufacturer's logo on them, and think that makes it OK to wear thick gold chains and drive around in a silk shirt with the top four buttons unbuttoned while showing everyone else around them "How it's done."


I egged on a new Porsche on the highway in my MS6 once to find it was a heavily modified GT2... Was completely speechless when he downshifted and left me in dirt.. However, he was a total fuckbag. Myself, I had an ear to ear smile and gave him a thumbs up.. He kept egging ME on to race him, then kept waving as he pulled away from me several more times. Asshat.



Sadly I'll admit a few too many times I've been baited into such street skirmishes even though I really know better than do so. I feel like you about the above described drivers, plus a few more. Its just impossible for me to understand how some toolbox in a 2008 Civic SI 4 door sedan honestly believes his car is the fastest **** on 4 wheels. Maybe he was dropped on his head a few hundred times too many when a kid, or maybe he took the "Adrenaline now has four doors!" internet advertisements a bit too seriously. I know not the correct answer to that query..

After the 7th or 8th time of blowing his doors off in about every way possible without exceeding 60mph on a 45mph street they're still 100% certain the next time they'll beat me. Call me when your rhinoceros looking doorstop actually makes some torque.

197 hp @ 7800rpm and 139 lb-ft @ 6100rpm 2895lbs 98.5hp/liter 69.5lb-tq/liter
274 hp @ 5500rpm and 280 lb-ft @ 3000rpm 3589lbs 119.13hp/liter 121.73lb-tq/liter

While the Magazines claim MS6 0-60 is 6.1 seconds and DoorstopSI 6.7 I've timed mine 5.5 at its quickest (SPACE SHUTTLE!!!). No, I'm not trying to be the MS6 Elitest, its just really ******* annoying when the 18 year old douche in his Honda is more convinced of his cars overall superiority to the world than a Dodge Ram owner... Don't EVEN get me started about the Ram owners.. Good god...
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Old 11-03-2008, 08:36 AM   #18
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Joe your my hero, Id love to walk some fancy ($$) sports car and shout over "Its a 1.6liter" thats amazing.

There are tons of porshes here but everyone that drives them, drives them like they are 90, going to get their meds.
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Old 11-03-2008, 09:52 AM   #19
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its just really ******* annoying when the 18 year old douche in his Honda is more convinced of his cars overall superiority to the world than a Dodge Ram owner... Don't EVEN get me started about the Ram owners.. Good god...
Hey, I'm a two Dodge Ram owner - 05 Quad Cab 4x4 (yeah, it's got a hemi) and a 94 Ram 4x4. Does that double douche me?
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Old 11-03-2008, 10:53 AM   #20
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No one wants to play with me :(

After I got my new plate(pwr 2 w8) an old civic with a fart can tried something while I was tuning my boost control on the highway. I creamed him at part throttle, but that's not fun. I wanna destroy something expensive. Especially now that my boost control is worked out. :(
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