I'm going to preface this with saying I might be retarded.

Following brain's guide, I've made my way to the wiring harness. I'm looking at this diagram and it doesn't seem to look quite like my connector. I've tried rotating it 180 degrees and trying to see if the chart matches up that way and it doesn't seem to be clicking for me.

Am I retarded or is there some weird way you have to look at these?

Edit: I think I figured it out. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

my diagrams are drawn looking at the connector from the back of the connector where you would solder wires to, but you can still use the pinout labels.

looks like you figured it out. Remember the diybob for your application also fits a number of other cars Acuras, Hondas, etc.