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Old 04-22-2010, 09:56 AM
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just had a burning movement due to massive amounts of taco hell lastnight. i swear i had to be crapping bile. those cottonell things might have eased the pain hhmmmmm
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Old 04-22-2010, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy
Last night was a false alarm, or I jinxed myself. One of the worst night actually, super bloated and gassy, but only a small hint of anything turdish.
Sorry to hear that man... Nothing like feeling like it and nothing showing up for the party.
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:01 AM
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+1 On moist wipes when available...even though I feel gay using them
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Old 04-22-2010, 12:34 PM
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Type 6 for the lose... :(
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Old 04-22-2010, 01:28 PM
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I'm about to go. Place your bets...
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Old 04-22-2010, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by bojanglincraig
+1 On moist wipes when available...even though I feel gay using them
Man up and use Scotchbrite pads.


OP: You need lots more prunes and don't worry about the peas. The prunes will handle it.
Just eat a dozen prunes and this will all be behind you.

Last edited by sixshooter; 04-22-2010 at 02:36 PM.
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Old 04-22-2010, 02:32 PM
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I **** the bed until I was eight. Wait... ahaaha
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Old 04-22-2010, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by turotufas
I **** the bed until I was eight. Wait... ahaaha
"True story"

-Pimp C
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Old 04-22-2010, 03:47 PM
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NA6C - Since your current route (ie - intestines, etc) isn't working, maybe you should PM Hyper and get a suggestion for a re-route. Just a thought...
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Old 04-22-2010, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Rocky64
i think im gonna go debate an amendment to my morning constitutional....

btw, anyone else use those moist cottonell wipey things to finish the clean-up? my wife got some a few months back, and i really like the way i feel after i clean up with those. i feel fresh all day... i told her i wouldnt use that stupid ****, but i do.
Just DON'T flush them down the toilet, unless you are on sewer, in which case it might be OK. If you are on septic, you WILL be paying to have field lines replaced, or the tank pumped in short order.

By the time I went to bed I had probably at least a dozen prunes, and still no go. I just broke down and drank another full bottle of magnesium citrate about an hour ago, the rest of my nights schedule is full. I hope it's mostly gone by the time I visit the doctor around noon tomorrow. I'd have to have to **** up their bathroom. Then again I know I will have to wait in the waiting room for an hour or more, so it might give me something to do. I'll bring my prunes to snack on. I felt horrible all day today, much like last night. Sat in class all day feeling like I had a bowling ball in my colon/lower digestive tract. Quit uncomfortable.
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Old 04-22-2010, 04:26 PM
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Dried apricots.

I was on a hike in New Mexico a few years back and a buddy had a bag of those. I very quickly dubbed the ridge we were tackling "Apricot Hill".
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Old 04-22-2010, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by gospeed81
Dried apricots.

I was on a hike in New Mexico a few years back and a buddy had a bag of those. I very quickly dubbed the ridge we were tackling "Apricot Hill".
Might go try to find some of those too. I wonder how nasty a prune and apricot smoothie with olive oil would be.
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Old 04-22-2010, 04:32 PM
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Pretty sick I'm guessing, but if it doesn't do the job... Wow.
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:33 PM
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Originally Posted by y8s
my weekday **** schedule is:

8:30am pre-shower dump
2-4pm afternoon dump (sometimes skipped but not on gym days!) this is a window, not a duration.
11:30pm pre-sleep dump

on weekends it's a little different.

dump on wake
then the inevitable post coffee dump at 10 or 10:30 (this is often "unholy")
then maybe an afternooner if I'm going out
and of course
pre bedtime dump

I can NOT imagine wtf would happen to me if I didn't **** for a week. it bugs me to keep it to once a day when I'm not around proper facilities.

+1.

I can't believe I hadn't read this thread yet. I can't believe all you guys with constipation issues. I always understood that was more a female problem. Damn gayness of Miatas is costing some of us in more ways than one.
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:37 PM
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I cant believe you guys can **** 3 times a day. Where is all that **** coming from?

My buddy once ordered everything vegetarian he could possibly eat off the taco time menu. Ate it all in one sitting and crapped 4 times that day. My poor toilet.
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by wayne_curr
I cant believe you guys can **** 3 times a day. Where is all that **** coming from?

My buddy once ordered everything vegetarian he could possibly eat off the taco time menu. Ate it all in one sitting and crapped 4 times that day. My poor toilet.
They don't have to overflow from the bowl. A few small poops a day is healthy. Efficiency, like a good high flow exhaust system.
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy
They don't have to overflow from the bowl. A few small poops a day is healthy. Efficiency, like a good high flow exhaust system.
I am glad I use one third of the toilet paper. ***** expensive.
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by wayne_curr
I am glad I use one third of the toilet paper. ***** expensive.
When I take the magnesium citrate, I literally use a whole roll in one night. One of the big quilted northern double rolls too. Despite not shitting, I have used more toilet paper in the last month than any month prior, by a long shot. I might definitely have to use the baby wipe/ moist wipe, whatever, tonight to avoid *** burn. Like you get on your nose when you have a runny nose and you blow it too much. I had that a few weeks ago
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy
When I take the magnesium citrate, I literally use a whole roll in one night. One of the big quilted northern double rolls too. Despite not shitting, I have used more toilet paper in the last month than any month prior, by a long shot.
Thats the fizzy stuff that tastes like **** right?
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by wayne_curr
Thats the fizzy stuff that tastes like **** right?
Yeah. I expect the new roll I just broke out to be gone by tomorrow.
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