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Old 11-17-2012, 09:27 PM   #21
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This thread does deliver. I remembered seeing this one, and I had to post it. I figured you fellas would appreciate it. I still read it to get a laugh from it every once in a while.

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Techsalvager, if you were my kid, I’d un-make you for being such a retard.

I’d do it at night, under the cover of darkness, with no one but the alligators to bear witness. Your body would never be found, for there would be nothing to find. Carefully butchered into chunks no larger than my hand, you would simply pass through the tremendous digestive system of the great lizards, and emerge from the other end as a soft, semi-gelatinous mass devoid of recognizable bones, teeth, or any other identifiable parts.

The next day at breakfast, as I sat hungrily devouring a stack of buckwheat pancakes, your mother would turn to me and say “Honey, have you seen our son this morning?”

At that moment, I would take her. Right there on the kitchen table before the open window, I would thrust myself deeply into her, ignoring the prying eyes of our neighbors and the barking of the dogs as plates and utensils rain down from the table like Triple-A shrapnel over Dresden. Each time I exploded into her, I would pause to allow her a moment’s recomposure before beginning my tremendous assault anew with redoubled ferocity. Despite her screams and wailing, my back and shoulders raw as hamburger torn by her fingernails, I would not falter but continue to have my way like an unstoppable machine fueled by hate and lust.

Finally, after three or four hours, I would at last withdraw, not because I am exhausted, but because it is clear that she finally can stand no more of this assault and live. As the dogs lapped up our sweat and bodily fluids, I would look deeply into your mother’s bloodshot eyes as she wept with joy and ecstasy, and say “Those were some damn fine pancakes.”







(I still get a chuckle every time I hear the word "pancakes." See, it just happened again right then.)






Ok, in all seriousness. I kind of figured that since the trend seemed to be towards posting charts which were irrelevant / false / misleading, the least I could do would be to make mine humorous as well.

My intent (which was perhaps too subtle for you to notice) was to point out the inherent silliness of much of what SJMarcy has been posting in this thread over the past several days.

As a specific example, take the chart in post #92. According to it, airflow and RPM both increase prior to the throttle having started to open. It doesn't take a mechanical engineer (or even a liberal-arts major) to realize that this is impossible. Thus, assuming that Stan's car does not move backwards through time, we can infer from this that his sampling method is faulty (or intentionally deceptive.) And from the fact that he is posting these charts as evidence to support his argument, it logically follows that his argument may be inherently flawed as well.

That's really all I'm trying to accomplish here, to make people actually think for themselves, rather than just blindly accepting inaccurate data and erroneous arguments. I have found that in many cases, taking an argument to the most ridiculous extreme can be a highly effective tool in accomplishing this. We are often willing to accept without question information which appears to be reasonable, so in posting information which is obviously absurd and unreasonable, it is my hope that people may step back and more thoughtfully analyze and consider some of the other "data" which has been presented to them.

Cheers, mate.
There is also one about radioactive deepfried puppies which I need to find.
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Old 11-19-2012, 01:42 PM   #22
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Oh, here it is.

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Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
So this morning I performed a real-world experiment which offers us the first actual, hard data in this matter.

On my commute into work, I took the long way, which takes me up the side of a steep hill and then down the other along a road which is perfectly straight and experiences a continuous downhill slope of almost exactly 10 grade for a length of 0.7 miles with no obstructions or cross-streets. At the top of this hill, I accelerated the car to 40 MPH, checked to see that no other traffic was nearby, and then shut off the engine, thereby ensuring that no fuel injection would occur regardless of throttle position.

With the transmission in 4th gear and vehicle coasting on engine braking, I then alternated between closed-throttle and wide-open-throttle for periods of approximately 10 seconds each, noting the rate-of-change in velocity in each mode by measuring the frequency of the engine’s crankshaft position sensor using a Fluke model 289 logging digital multimeter which I’d spliced into the ECU wiring for this purpose.

At each change in throttle position I noted a subtle but appreciable change in the tone of the exhaust note, but did not feel any change whatsoever in the velocity of the vehicle. With both throttle-closed and throttle-open, the tendency of the car seemed to be to accelerate at a delta-V of approximately 2 MPH per 5 seconds as judged by the dashboard speedometer, with a trend in the direction of decreased delta-V (towards 1 MPH per 5 seconds) as RPM increased towards 4,000.

As I approached the bottom of the hill, I leaned over towards the passenger seat to stop and save the datalog on the laptop which I had connected to the scope, so that I could later analyze this data in greater detail. Unfortunately, I found it difficult to read the laptop’s display in the bright morning sunlight, which caused me to focus on the display with a resulting loss of situational awareness. I blew through the red traffic signal at the bottom of the hill, crashing broadside into the cab of a tractor-trailer pulling a combined load of diesel fuel, Golden Retriever puppies, and enriched uranium rods destined for the nearby San Onofre nuclear power plant.

The truck swerved sharply to the left, crossing over the median and exiting the roadway. It rolled a number of times down an embankment and crashed through the outer wall of the Palomar Oaks Elementary School, coming to rest just inside the cafeteria, where it severed a main gas line and over-turned a large deep fryer. (I honestly didn’t realize that deep-fryers will still in use in California public schools.)

Immediate casualties within the school were relatively low, as the majority of the students were in class on the other side of the property. The subsequent explosion, however, dispersed the enriched uranium over a large area, leading to wild speculation as to the ultimate fate of the students in the face of thyroid cancer and other latent maladies. The puppies, having been set ablaze by the diesel fuel, proceeded to run off in all directions, whereupon they set numerous brush fires over an area extending up to 5km from the site of the explosion. I had no idea that flaming, radioactive, partially deep-fried puppies could run that fast, but it’s really a sight to behold.

After the paramedics extracted me from the burning, twisted wreckage, I gathered up the laptop which I’d been using to log the experiment and walked the rest of the way into the office. Upon analyzing the data, I found that in both the open-throttle and closed-throttle positions, the rate-of-change in RPM tended to follow a curve nearly identical to the one which I had visually approximated earlier, with a typical deviation of +/- 4% which I attribute to roadway irregularities and wind conditions.


So based upon this data, I conclude that throttle-position is not a significant factor in determining the resistance of a warm engine to vehicle movement while coasting in gear with fuel delivery cut-off. In both the open and closed throttle positions, variances in the data fell within a nearly identical range, and differences between the two datasets are of a smaller magnitude than the margin of measurement error.

Additionally, the school board of San Diego county has opened an investigation into the saturated-fat content of the foods being served in its cafeterias, as it is now clear that at least some schools in the district have failed to comply with the regulations of SB12 passed in 2005, which introduced stringent nutritional guidelines amid protest from cash-strapped school administrators but garnered widespread support from both parents and the regional healthcare community.


I hope that we can put this matter to rest. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to make arrangements for a lengthy vacation in a country which does not have an extradition treaty with the US.
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:09 PM   #23
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Reading this thread makes me sad to think about how much information was lost during the Great Database Migration Disaster of 2008.

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Old 11-25-2012, 12:47 AM   #24
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It is amazing Joe, I can remember you laying down some real gems. It is ashame that some are lost forever. I am surprised that most of you fellas can't remember some. Also, I think we should make one for Trey, you know, for the entomology museum and the bath one.
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Old 11-25-2012, 01:12 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chicksdigmiatas View Post
It is amazing Joe, I can remember you laying down some real gems. It is ashame that some are lost forever. I am surprised that most of you fellas can't remember some. Also, I think we should make one for Trey, you know, for the entomology museum and the bath one.

Dammit im curious now...
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:00 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Gryff View Post
Dammit im curious now...
Perhaps Senior Perez and myself are aging a bit, and we joined the miata community at roughly the same time, although it appears that he came to the light side (turbo) a bit sooner than I. (This is all solely based on the date of memberships of certain sites, and I did not check club roadster, because I am pretty sure that Joe did not lick the windows on the short bus every day on the way to school while playing "find the gummy worm" with Hyper in the passenger seat while trundling through his pockets, but I digressed). Anyways, he has a way of putting things to where normal people understand it, and those which rip apart Loti without the ability to reassemble them, and those who toss a perfectly good MS in the woods while looking like a ferret cannot. This guy, who is a good bit more remarkable than myself has blessed us with the knowledge from one of his forgotten website posts, which he has insightfuly left as a breadcrumb of knowledge for us peasants to figure out who he be.

Quote:
About the Author

Mr. Perez holds a Ph.D in Astrophysics from La Universidad de Sevilla, and is board-certified to practice neurology in the state of Utah. Presently he serves as an adjuct professor of Philosophy at the University of California, Berkeley.
He has been knifed in a London subway, tear-gassed by the Michigan State Police, narrowly avoided a terrorist bomb at a theater in Tel-Aviv, and was once denied service at a Howard Johnson's restaurant.

In his spare time, he enjoys channeling the spirits of former U.S. Presidents Nixon and Eisenhower, who report that they are enjoying the afterlife, and frequently participate in racquetball matches with Cliff Burton, the original bass player for Metallica.

In short, nothing you can say or do will surprise him, so don't be afraid to ask what may, upon inadequate reflection, seem to be stupid questions.
You're welcome, fools.
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:05 AM   #27
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All of which, you see I was aware of.

Unfortunately, I hath joined prior to said terrible loss known as the war on databases, and therefore have missed out on what appear to be very large amounts of lulz. I was more inquiring upon said quoth of sir trey formerly known as duke 'hustler'
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:44 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gryff View Post
All of which, you see I was aware of.

Unfortunately, I hath joined prior to said terrible loss known as the war on databases, and therefore have missed out on what appear to be very large amounts of lulz. I was more inquiring upon said quoth of sir trey formerly known as duke 'hustler'
The only one I could find got deleted.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:32 PM   #29
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Such a shame...
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Old 11-28-2012, 11:12 AM   #30
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In a thread looking for suggestions on plush cars under $20k
https://www.miataturbo.net/insert-bs...30/#post952835

Quote:
I'm conflicted on the Avalon.

My mother back in Florida owns one, and I have driven it long-distance on a number of occasions (eg: family trip to Sea World, visiting family near Miami, etc.)

The car has a little over 100k on it, and it's been fairly reliable. One failed O2 sensor and the in-dash CD changer died, but those are the only repairs I can recall the vehicle having. So that's a plus.

And it's an exceedingly comfortable place to sit for long periods of time. Very good seat, excellent driver ergonomics, etc.

But actually driving the vehicle terrifies me. In terms of perceived responsiveness to steering input, this is literally the worst vehicle I have ever driven, and that includes a couple of old VW Beetles, a '72 Mercury Grand Marquis, a 31' RV and several moving trucks. It is as though the tie rods and lower control arms are made of a rather firm rubber as opposed to something more conventional, such as metal.

The actual handling isn't all that bad (the car does in fact do what you want it to), it simply gives the impression that, all else being equal, it would prefer to pause for a moment, offer you a nice cup of hot tea with lemon, and afford you an opportunity to peacefully reflect on your decision, to be absolutely certain that turning left is really going to bring you happiness and fulfillment.
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Old 12-18-2012, 10:54 AM   #31
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I had a little-mini rant today:

MX-5 Miata Forum - View Single Post - [NA] loosing boost?


dude is missing boost and wont leak for boost leaks on his charge pipes and/or exhaust.
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Old 01-18-2013, 01:15 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
That's a reasonable price on a decent-looking monitor.

Personally, I mourn the death of the 16:10 1920x1200 standard. If and when my current 28" Hanns-G monitor finally gives up the ghost, I don't know what I shall do.

Most traditional computerey activities tend to favor displays which are biased towards vertical size. Most of the static elements of the display (the start menu, the tabs, the ribbon, etc) are almost always horizontal in nature, such that making the display increasingly landscapey simply causes more and more of the total display real estate to be "wasted" on essentially inactive content.

At work, I still use a pair of 4:3 monitors, and I have strongly resisted the efforts of the IT department to give me a free "upgrade." (The monitors are my personal property, which I bought out of pocket after one of my two 20" CRTs died, and the only monitors the company could provide for me were 16:9s.)

I'm sure this is all marketing driven. We've been brainwashed to associate "1080p" with "high quality", never mind that in the PC world, transitioning to 1080 lines meant stepping backwards about 10 years. If the primary task that I used my PC for was watching TV shows formatted in 16:9 then I wouldn't mind, however that's what my ******* TV is for. My computer monitor is for doing computery stuff.

Have you noticed that your mouse has a wheel for scrolling up and down*, but not for scrolling left to right? There's a very good reason for this. The presentation of data on a computer, from the earliest dumb terminals to the present day, has historically been structured around a vertical paradigm. Why on earth would you want to decrease your system's ability to convey information in this dimension?

* = I assume that you are not a Mac owner, and therefore understand the concept of a mouse which has actual physical affordances on it, rather than just a bit touch-sensitive area which gives absolutely no tactile feedback whatsoever.

[/rant]
needs moar rant
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:58 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by chicksdigmiatas View Post
Also, I think we should make one for Trey, you know, for the entomology museum and the bath one.
I know I'm late to the party, but I thought I should point out that my sig is from trey, not exactly what your looking for, but it is something.
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:17 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gfeeley View Post
needs moar rant
I missed the one about the computer monitors, I haven't been around much lately. It amazes me how many people don't understand that. I have a 4x3 monitor I use at work and I rotate the display and monitor so it's actually 3x4 and it's great! People think I'm weird but it works.
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:33 PM   #35
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I gave up my "widescreen" here for two 4:3.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:59 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skidude View Post
I missed the one about the computer monitors, I haven't been around much lately. It amazes me how many people don't understand that. I have a 4x3 monitor I use at work and I rotate the display and monitor so it's actually 3x4 and it's great! People think I'm weird but it works.
I hate to pecker up my own rant thread with serious discussion, but you're not weird.

The very first* computer ever to be designed around a graphical user interface was the Alto, developed in 1973 by Xerox PARC. This machine introduced a whole slew of innovative features which were genuinely new in computing. The Alto was the first modern computer designed for use by a single operator. It included a mouse, used a "desktop" format similar to (and the direct inspiration for) both the Mac and Windows operating systems, featured WYSIWYG composition, had an optional laser printer (which they had to invent specifically for the Alto), was the first ever application of ethernet, and pretty much changed the entire world.

And here's the kicker: Xerox fitted the machine with a monochrome CRT display of approximately 10:16 aspect ratio. That's right, the monitor on the Alto was mounted in the portrait orientation!








So as it turns out, the GUI itself was inherently designed to be applied in a portrait-oriented presentation, and that we've all been ******* it up ever since.


Then why did all subsequent computer manufacturers (including standard-makers Apple and IBM) elect to use a 4:3 display? Cost. Creating custom CRTs of the sort used in the Alto was excruciatingly expensive. Of course, that didn't matter to PARC, since they were all a bunch of idealistic techno-hippies, and everything about the Alto was insanely expensive. (When it founded PARC, Xerox forgot to specifically instruct the engineers to invent things that were practical to build and sell.)

By comparison, the same companies which had been manufacturing 4:3 CRTs for use in television sets for years found it easy to supply tubes in this format to both manufacturers of industrial and scientific equipment as well as the early computer-makers. They could have elected to rotate the deflection coils 90 to achieve 3:4, but for some reason this never happened. In fact, the first two commercial arcade games (Computer Space and Pong) literally used a standard store-bought television set as their display.)

It's kind of like the old story about why railroad tracks are spaced 4 ft 8 in apart. We got ourselves locked into an arbitrary standard developed by William Dickson in 1892 (the aspect ratio which results from a four-perf frame in a 35mm Edison movie camera) and when we finally decided to break free of it, we forgot the reason for its existence in the first place and expanded the screen in the wrong direction.



* = Technically, the first GUI ever created took form in 1968. In December of that year, visionary Douglas Engelbart gave a demonstration at the Fall Joint Computer Conference in San Francisco which has come to be called The Mother of All Demos. As was his style, this demo was not meant to reflect a specific product or technology, but rather to inspire other engineers to apply his ideas in their own designs. MoAD showcased a number of concepts which we now know by names such as word processing, hypertext, videoconferencing, dynamic linking, and collaborative editing.

Reflecting the technological capabilities of the day, however, the "computer" used by Engelbart during this demonstration was not a single machine running an operating system in the modern context. Rather, it relied upon an array of special-purpose hardware and software created specifically for the task of presenting the demonstration, and the graphical display itself was controlled in real-time by a video operator using an analog mixer, similar to those used in television news control rooms to composite video from multiple sources (studio cameras, videotape, character generators, chroma-key, etc) into a single finished product.

Incidentally, it was in this same year that Alan Kay, who would later become one of the lead developers of the Alto, invented the tablet PC. He called it the Dynabook, and originally envisioned it as a learning tool for children.



Suck on that, Apple.
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:05 PM   #37
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i invented the ability to drag/drop/alter the directions in google maps/mapquest. i just didnt tell anyone, and waited for someone else to come up with it and do it.
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:25 PM   #38
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Is that Dynabook 4:3? I think someone has a lawsuit from Apple coming! Looks awful rectangular to me.
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:29 PM   #39
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Quote:
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Is that Dynabook 4:3? I think someone has a lawsuit from Apple coming! Looks awful rectangular to me.
It doesnt have rounded corners, I think they're safe.
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Old 01-31-2013, 04:26 PM   #40
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Well, I have to say this thread stayed on track much longer than I thought it would.
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