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Old 04-19-2010, 09:30 AM   #1
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Default Hilarious Craigslist Ad

http://semo.craigslist.org/cto/1672654758.html

Enjoy! And just incase it gets deleted, here it is below...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Craigslist Ad
2002 Focus – good reliable first car - $2000 (Cape Girardeau)

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Date: 2010-04-01, 10:33PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It’s got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you’re likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it’ll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

It’s slow as ****. You don’t have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do ****. And there won’t be any sense in him getting some shitty *** fart can off of eBay – this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It’s a 4-door, so your kid won’t try to put gay *** Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you’d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

It’s a 5-speed, so your kid can’t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot – he’ll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won’t have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It’s got a new clutch and new tires, so you’ll know if he does burnouts. After all, I’m sure YOU’RE the one paying for tires, right? It’s got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won’t **** it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a “phat *** system”. It’s already had the speakers replaced too, so he won’t have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he can’t get them back on. It’s got manual windows too, so he can’t **** up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won’t leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I’m sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you’re probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you’ll know he’s suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It’ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he’s rolling around looking like a ****** in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You won’t regret it


Contact: 573-334-4363


Location: Cape Girardeau
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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Old 04-19-2010, 10:35 AM   #2
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LOL that is good.
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Old 04-19-2010, 10:41 AM   #3
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I put my dead prelude on CL yesterday, I've had 17 emails from flakers so far in less than 24 hours...
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:33 AM   #4
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Wasn't this same add posted just a few weeks ago?
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:35 AM   #5
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this same ad has been posted for years now...
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:24 PM   #6
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haha i like it,
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:26 PM   #7
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Yeah, OldPost is Old.

But still funny.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:39 PM   #8
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Love it. It's a great spin on a less than great car.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:50 PM   #9
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JesusFuckingRepost.....
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:45 PM   #10
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J.F.R. You just invented a new accronym. Awesome.
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:22 PM   #11
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wow, i hope it sell's with that much work into the ad...lol.... thats hilarious.......
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:05 AM   #12
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I sold my car with a blown transmission in 25 hours and 15 minutes. I didn't need gimmicks, however, I will not become an internet urban legend either...
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:24 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
however, I will not become an internet urban legend either...
I thought you already were an internet and Google Maps urban legend Brain... Just not a CL one, yet.
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Old 04-20-2010, 11:00 AM   #14
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can win them all.
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Old 04-20-2010, 11:15 AM   #15
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