Just for reference, I'm sitting here at my desk at work, glance over my shoulder, and on the air right now is the Jerry Springer show, on which there is a seriously obese woman with pasty white skin, wearing a two-piece swimsuit, doing some kind of striptease-like dance while standing inside an inflatable kiddie pool filled with sticks of unmelted butter while the crowd cheers her on.

I swear I am not making this **** up.

 

Joe, please change the channel.

 

America.

 

So, I just spent the better part of an hour figuring up a little analysis for a work project -- the short version is that I pushed for a little more initial investment in better protected equipment in order to cut down on repair costs.

We are only a few weeks into the rollout of the new equipment but we have had ZERO repairs so I wanted to calculate the expected number of repairs had we not gone with my recommendation and resumed using the less-protected equipment.

Ladies and gentleman...compared to the ZERO repairs so far (literally the least number of repairs you can have), if my company had not followed my recommendation, we would have expected to pay for a total of..............

One repair.




It's extremely early in the rollout. I am still confident.

 

I can't. I work at the station, and it's always on.

Always.

 

 

Bummer, but you do get to eat and live indoors.....

Is Springer still shot in NY? I heard somewhere that they get all the strange mouth-breathers to go on the air and embarrass themselves by offering them an expenses-paid trip to the big city.

 

Springer was never shot in NYC. The show originated in Chicago for most of its run, and moved to Stamford, CT (which is about 30 miles from NYC) a few years ago.

But yeah, as far as I am aware, the only compensation and incentive for guests is a free trip to the third-largest city in the third-smallest state, plus some random trinkets.

And, of course, you get to be on TV, which I guess is a major incentive for some folks, regardless of the fact that any shred of dignity they might have possessed previously will, of necessity, be shed in the process.

Ever see the film Requiem for a Dream? In it, one of the major characters is a middle-aged woman who lives alone in a crappy apartment, whose sole ambition in life is to appear on some specific series of infomercials which she obsessively watches on TV, and is eventually driven to insanity by her delusions of adequacy.







Sidebar: As I wrote that last sentence, Jerry was facing the camera on the bump out to a break, inviting me to win a free trip to Stamford, CT and appear on his show. All I have to do is visit the website on my screen.

 

Am at Wendy's right now. The guy in front of me, who drove here, is struggling to place a simple order, giggling like Beavis, and just said to the cashier "I'm too high for this."

I hate the suburbs.

 

Guys, please translate this into English for me:

Additional Charges shall be levied by the Company monthly in arrears and shall be payable by the Client within 30 days of receipt of the Company's invoice therefore.

 

Big companies are made up of just more small people.

 

True.

The thing is, I'm in the middle of translating a huge contract (in gibberish, no less) and this sentence makes no sense to me at all.

 

It basically says; The company can/will invoice you after the fact for whatever they forgot/couldn't invoice you earlier and you agree to pay whatever that invoice is within 30 days of receiving it.'

 

Could it be this:

Additional Charges shall be levied by the Company monthly in arrears and shall be payable by the Client within 30 days of receipt of the Company's invoice therefore.

The Company may invoice Additional Charges after the fact, and may do so on a monthly basis, and the Client has an obligation to pay these said charges within 30 days of receiving the respective invoices.

 

Thank you.
I guess we were typing at the same time.
You just validated what I had in mind.
Props.

 

Very odd sentence structure. I'm rearranging and rewording it for clarity.

Payment in arrears is a term describing payments made after a service has been provided.

Additional Charges shall be billed by the Company monthly after the service is performed and shall be payable by the Client within 30 days of receipt of the Company's invoice.

Or just:
Any additional charges shall be billed by the Company monthly and shall be payable by the Client within 30 days of receipt of the Company's invoice.

 

Oh, sorry... A contract!

In the USA a commercial contract means "**** you" I'm not paying whatever I decide to not pay you Mr. Small Businessman. Sure, you can get all the lawyers involved and even get a decision against me. Still won't get paid...

Finer points of the civil justice system.

Probably different in Turkey.

In all seriousness: In the USA it means what Sixshooter says. Supposedly.

 

I was stuck on "Payment in arrears".
Isn't this usually a reference to an overdue payment?
As in, "I'm in arrears in my payment plan, and my car may be repossessed"

 

The one thing I've learned from owning a business and having paid my share of attorney fees is you can't take a contract and "I'm rearranging and rewording it for clarity." But we see your point!

It means exactly as it's written, no more no less.

The Company can/will invoice for whatever it didn't/couldn't invoice prior. The customer agrees to pay the invoice within 30 days.

Sorry, guess you can tell how I feel about contract law huh?

 

I just went to Whole Foods to grab some black forest bacon to cook over the weekend. I need to start going more often in the middle the the day. Milfs were everywhere in the store.