$42K sounds like good money for Kentucky. It seems you are doing well financially for a 23-year-old. Don't feel compelled to chase more money because somebody else wants you to.
You'll know when a girl is "the one." But on the flip side, everybody "settles" to a certain extent when they get married. If I didn't settle, I'd probably be married to Scarlett Johansson or some other famous younger chick with a shitload of money and never have to work. And if you have an argument with the GF and start thinking the grass may be greener with somebody else, remember that no matter how hot or perfect a chick may seem at first, somewhere in the world is a man who is tired of putting up with her shit. :laugh: You need to figure out if this was just an isolated argument and if your major life priorities are really compatible, or not. If she aspires to be upwardly mobile in society and you don't, that could be a problem. If she's hitting the gym and you are letting yourself go, that's definitely bad. Some bitching about your hobbies is normal, because most women don't have hobbies to fill their time to the extent that men do. However, if you're ignoring her while spending 6 hours a night on mt.net, she probably should leave your ass. You need to strike a balance. She wants to see you put some effort into yourself because she respects herself and doesn't want to be with a slacker. This is the kind of attitude I like in a woman. Chicks with low self-esteem (I dated a few) just don't do it for me. If you are still serious about this chick, going to the gym with her would be a good idea. You can spend time with her while doing something that is good for you and that she views as productive. You can gawk at the other hotties at the gym, and she'll be staring at all the ripped guys, and then you can go home and have some pretty hot post-workout sex. It's a win-win. Oh, and if you blew up at her to the point that she was crying, then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are going to have to... wait for it... apologize. I know, it's a foreign concept to many men.:laugh: |
does your g/f ever do this? if your answer is yes then that might be your problem.
http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1248367063299.jpg |
by the way, i dont see any pics of said girlfriend. pics or it never happened!
|
Originally Posted by neogenesis2004
(Post 433605)
She's probably already cheating on you, why she's started working out....
< I'm an asshole last girl I was dating did this. We were engaged for a year before we broke up, two weeks after we broke up she was re-engaged and got married within two months. all her working out was for nothing as she inflated like a balloon shortly after. |
Rule #1: dont live with a girl you dont intend to marry
Rule #2: dont marry a girl you've never lived with |
Rule #3: More boost.
|
Married at 21. We had good credit so we bought a house right away. A crappy tiny house in a crappy neighborhood. Couple of beater cars but they were reliable. I worked while she went to school, she was driven while I can enjoy just getting by. We scraped and saved but enjoyed cheap or free activities as much as possible. Concerts in the park, camping, road trips, etc.
Fast forward 23 years. We are still best friends, she's still driven and makes great money. Nice house, nice cars, toys etc. but we both still work ungodly hours. Are we any happier with newer bigger better? No. We just have more stuff and responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with being happy with what you have and where you are in life. Ideally you'll find someone driven enough to be sucessful (that makes life a little easier) but doesn't need you to be driven too. I'm the slacker in my marriage and it works for us. |
Do what makes you happy (not what a SO or society tells you to) and the rest will follow. There's a difference between working at a relationship and doing something you genuinely don't like with your life.
It's obvious your objectives (current and long term) don't meet up with hers. Unless there is some crazy chemistry going on, it's not gonna work out. Chris |
Guys, I gotta just say I really appreciate all the overwhelming advice and opinions in here.
Thanks for keeping it civil (for the most part) and staying on point. I'll come back in later and make remarks/quotes and hopefully shed a little more light.... although I was essentially just looking to hear from everyone, I want to address some things that've been mentioned. :) |
Originally Posted by samnavy
(Post 433639)
Did you say you had a 4-year degree?
Originally Posted by ZX-Tex
(Post 433642)
Enjoying your work IMO is important than how much you make. Even if I could go get an MBA, and make double my salary in upper management at a Fortune 500 company, I would hate my job, and mostly hate life. I could do it, but I would not like it. I am a techie at heart.
Originally Posted by ZX-Tex
(Post 433642)
There are lots of resources out there to help you figure out what you like and what you are good at. For example before starting college I took a couple of computer-based tests at a couple of college career centers; they were these looooong multi-choice qestionairres that ultimately boiled it all down to a summary that was remarkably spot-on for me. I am not sure what the contemporary version is but you can probably find something.
Originally Posted by ZX-Tex
(Post 433642)
Or hell, if you like your current job and your current situation, then just keep doing what you are doing. All is well despite what the GF thinks. You definitely sound like you have your financial situation in order. But, look at the bright side. If you can keep things good with her, she will make some serious coin as a pharmacist when she graduates. More turboz! :giggle:
Originally Posted by Stein
(Post 433675)
While I don't think she is already cheating, she is considering it or at least leaving so that she can pursue other options.
Originally Posted by Stein
(Post 433675)
If she sticks around and accepts you as you are, great. If not, great. Either way works for you.
Originally Posted by Newbsauce
(Post 433777)
Here's my thoughts:
Job I've been to northern KY, and I fucking love it there (Florence). If your making 42k still, that's a solid amount for that area since the cost of living is dirt cheap. I saw new construction in the 170s, so I can imagine your 120k house is pretty nice. So if your happy with your job, do your job. If you aren't.. start looking for some other field (you know the IRS is there, which is a good fed job) to fund your....
Originally Posted by Newbsauce
(Post 433777)
Cars/Projects
Owning a house is a huge step, I signed my life away on one just yesterday! I'd recommend maybe shedding some of those projects in favor of taking on the house as a project. Might be time to part with your mullet and your camaro if the miata is already your project. The woman or you will always have a house project you will be working on in the future which you will need time for.. leading to....
Originally Posted by Newbsauce
(Post 433777)
The Bitch
women NOT in the work force do NOT understand what it's like to come home after a long day at work.... All that being said, don't put yourself through a struggle if she's not the one. DO NOT FORCE IT. Forcing it = marriage to someone you dont want to spend 50 years with. If she's not your best friend, she will eventually end up with half of what you worked hard to own. I don't really force anything. Truth is, I'm pretty blunt and rude about things, unwilling to see "both sides of the situation" in most cases, and too stubborn to change. My father's the same way.... a jerk. :giggle:
Originally Posted by ZX-Tex
(Post 433825)
Also should throw in, if I married one of the chicks I was with when I was in my early 20s it would not have worked out for sure. One of the benefits of getting serious/married later in life. No reason to rush it IMO.
Originally Posted by UrbanSoot
(Post 433861)
YOU NEED TO FUCK HER!
She goes in to get ready for bed. I come in, candles are lit... we're about to...... she's like, "finally a night together" and I'm like, "well, I told my friend I'd go shoot darts with him at 11 but... lets do this." :facepalm: I get denied, she puts up the block and tells me she doesn't want to unless I stay in, but doesn't want to make me cancel my plans. WTF? I could punch babies right now. (this is a true scenario that actually just took place... no shit... except the punching babies part) Thing is, I had rules.. yes... rules with he not staying here ALL THE TIME because we tend to start bickering and annoying each other after about a week. She is in a summer course at Xavier university and my apartment is 40 miles closer to Xavier than her parent's house. Her and I talked about it and agreed she could "live here" until the class is over. It's been 2.5 weeks of non-stop being together, even all weekend, and that's why I'd rather go shoot darts than stay in and have awkward frustrating sex. Awkward and frustrating because now I know if we did it I'd feel like less of a man for letter her have pussy control over me.
Originally Posted by ScottFW
(Post 433867)
$42K sounds like good money for Kentucky. It seems you are doing well financially for a 23-year-old. Don't feel compelled to chase more money because somebody else wants you to.
You'll know when a girl is "the one." But on the flip side, everybody "settles" to a certain extent when they get married. If I didn't settle, I'd probably be married to Scarlett Johansson or some other famous younger chick with a shitload of money and never have to work. And if you have an argument with the GF and start thinking the grass may be greener with somebody else, remember that no matter how hot or perfect a chick may seem at first, somewhere in the world is a man who is tired of putting up with her shit. :laugh: You need to figure out if this was just an isolated argument and if your major life priorities are really compatible, or not. If she aspires to be upwardly mobile in society and you don't, that could be a problem. If she's hitting the gym and you are letting yourself go, that's definitely bad. Some bitching about your hobbies is normal, because most women don't have hobbies to fill their time to the extent that men do. However, if you're ignoring her while spending 6 hours a night on mt.net, she probably should leave your ass. You need to strike a balance. She wants to see you put some effort into yourself because she respects herself and doesn't want to be with a slacker. This is the kind of attitude I like in a woman. Chicks with low self-esteem (I dated a few) just don't do it for me. If you are still serious about this chick, going to the gym with her would be a good idea. You can spend time with her while doing something that is good for you and that she views as productive. You can gawk at the other hotties at the gym, and she'll be staring at all the ripped guys, and then you can go home and have some pretty hot post-workout sex. It's a win-win. Oh, and if you blew up at her to the point that she was crying, then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are going to have to... wait for it... apologize. I know, it's a foreign concept to many men.:laugh:
Originally Posted by UrbanSoot
(Post 433870)
by the way, i dont see any pics of said girlfriend. pics or it never happened!
Originally Posted by cueball1
(Post 433908)
Married at 21. We had good credit so we bought a house right away. A crappy tiny house in a crappy neighborhood. Couple of beater cars but they were reliable. I worked while she went to school, she was driven while I can enjoy just getting by. We scraped and saved but enjoyed cheap or free activities as much as possible. Concerts in the park, camping, road trips, etc.
Fast forward 23 years. We are still best friends, she's still driven and makes great money. Nice house, nice cars, toys etc. but we both still work ungodly hours. Are we any happier with newer bigger better? No. We just have more stuff and responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with being happy with what you have and where you are in life. Ideally you'll find someone driven enough to be sucessful (that makes life a little easier) but doesn't need you to be driven too. I'm the slacker in my marriage and it works for us. |
Example... 10 minutes ago. She goes in to get ready for bed. I come in, candles are lit... we're about to...... she's like, "finally a night together" and I'm like, "well, I told my friend I'd go shoot darts with him at 11 but... lets do this." I get denied, she puts up the block and tells me she doesn't want to unless I stay in, but doesn't want to make me cancel my plans. WTF? I could punch babies right now. (this is a true scenario that actually just took place... no shit... except the punching babies part) |
Originally Posted by Project84
(Post 434080)
She goes in to get ready for bed. I come in, candles are lit... we're about to...... she's like, "finally a night together" and I'm like, "well, I told my friend I'd go shoot darts with him at 11 but... lets do this." :facepalm: I get denied, she puts up the block and tells me she doesn't want to unless I stay in, but doesn't want to make me cancel my plans. WTF? I could punch babies right now. (this is a true scenario that actually just took place... no shit... except the punching babies part)
|
2 years, 2 months, 13 days.
I mentioned going out with a friend earlier around 8:30..... so she knew I had plans to leave. |
It's almost 11:00 your time and you are still here. Aren't you going to play darts?
|
Originally Posted by Braineack
(Post 434084)
oh. I seriously didn't know you were gay, this changes things.
On a serious note, Dude, enjoy your life. Seems to me your in a great point in your life, got a level head on your shoulders, and frankly if I were in your position I wouldnt give it up for anything. As for the girl, the example you just gave is kinda dumb. Easily couldve had you cake and eaten it too if you put a lil effort into it. As for the other previous issues such as life goals...remember that people dont really change. So you need to stick to your guns, and keep doing what your doing. If that means she's gonna lose interest and move on then so be it. Don't be talked into something thats not really you when it comes to life decisions man. Otherwise 10yrs from now you'll be doing something you hate, to make money for stuff you dont enjoy, coming home to a wife you resent, and being stuck there because of kids or some shit. I'd say at your age, making the money ur making, where you're living, with your own house, your likes/dislikes, having fun, and getting laid.....who's better than you man? |
i think you need to start ignoring her. dont actually ignore her completely like she doesnt exist though; just go to your "happy place" when she starts talking and just nod once in a while. works for me :)
|
Originally Posted by albumleaf
(Post 434088)
Alright, this is pretty :giggle: You might be able to get away with this with certain people but you should know this shit shouldn't fly if you've been with her for that long.
Romance at it's best. Way to let a lady know you care, right? Might as well say: "It works better if you're a man." The problem is not the GF, mt.net, or anything else. The problem is you. Dump her and contract AIDs from your gay buddies. |
Originally Posted by Project84
(Post 434080)
Example... 10 minutes ago.
She goes in to get ready for bed. I come in, candles are lit... we're about to...... she's like, "finally a night together" and I'm like, "well, I told my friend I'd go shoot darts with him at 11 but... lets do this." :facepalm: I get denied, she puts up the block and tells me she doesn't want to unless I stay in, but doesn't want to make me cancel my plans. WTF? Awkward and frustrating because now I know if we did it I'd feel like less of a man for letter her have pussy control over me. |
since when is being whipped a bad thing?........ever
|
Every man who says he's not pussy whipped is either not getting any, or is a liar.
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:49 AM. |
© 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands