Actually, this is the ultimate question all married dudes with kids must answer.

I'm sitting here on the couch, surrounded by the visible cloud of the most recent fart let loose by the dog (no doubt caused by the jalapeno/cheese deer sausage I let him sample earlier), and wondering if I should get up and refill my Captain&coke.

You see, the wife is about to come downstairs from putting the kids to sleep, and I need to know if I should get another drink, or try and sober up so I cant put on my "O" face later. I'm a bit drunk since I've been pounding rum steadily all day after the base shut down from our city-destroying snow day. If I get really drunk, I won't get any quality time... but if I sober up enough, and brush my teeth, I may sneak one in.

What say you? Get really drunk or have married sex?

 

I'll also admit that there are 2 hours of South Park reruns to watch if I'm denied.

 

Hahaha thread of the year and it's only january

I vote married sex. But I've only been married for 7 months and no kids yet so my vote dosent count I guess

 

I don't drink so you'll know what my vote is

 

The drink will be there if/when you need it. I vote married sex.

 

omgsex.

 

sexsexsex.... drinking if denied.

 

She's downstairs now, and we're watching a DVR'd "Originals" some kind of vampire drama. I got up to pee about 3 minutes ago and REFILLED my mo'effin glass of Captain. I also grabbed a huge spoonful of Nutella, which goes ******* awesome with Captain.

My internal debate still rages. The base is on a 2hr delay tomorrow, so I don't have work until 1000. What to do?

FOR NOW, continue drinking.

 

Drinking + South park is a win if denied for the secks

 

Drink yourself silly, then go drunkpost in the BS section about politics.

 

Sorry I didn't vote sooner. Was having sex...

 

J/k. I was drinking and not having sex.

 

Now on SECOND episode of vampire crap... have pissed twice. She's sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME LITERALLY AND COULD SEE EVERYTHING I'M TYPING... but she thinks I'm researching "gun stuff" which doesn't interest her, so she's looking at small vampire **** and hot black vampire dudes.

EPIC CHALLENGE!!!
I've finished my last refill, and am about to go in for another (which will require cracking open another can of Pepsi Max, which SHE WILL HEAR, and might spark a conversaton about "how much are you going to drink?" ... wish me luck...

 

As much as I want. I'm the man. And don't you forget it.

 

You don't? Why the HELL did you move to Portland, home of beers?

With your booze goggles on: say this, drop your pants, and see what happens.

 

I vote that you keep drinking and have some sloppy drunk married sex.

 

I'm not married, nor do I have kids. But Aunt Flow is in town, and I'm not a big fan of shark week so I'm resorting to perusing random internet articles and drinking this 4pack of West Coast IPA by Green Flash. The girlfriend has been talking to me, but I've just been grunting and nodding at the prolonged pauses; she has not caught on yet.

 

My intuitive reaction:

Seriously? Is this thread actually happening on miataturbo. net?

 

Confused about the misrepresentation of his husband as his wife?