*poof* you own the Geo department of GM, then that bastard kid that was created between The Bandit and his mom comes at you like chucky and slays your ***.

I wish I could have sex with any woman I want at any time. If I dont want to have sex I do not have to.

 

POOF ... you have the power to have sex with any woman you want. Now the flood gates open and you become hoplessly adicted to having sex. Ultimately you don't care who nor what you **** and end up getting aids from a goat, your dick falls off and you die. All of your bastard children curse you and you spend an eternity in hell giving blow jobs to the members of al-Qaeda.

I want the ability to make any band I want perform for me. AND play the songs I want to hear.

 

Poof - every band as at your command, bent over with pants dropped or on their knees ready to perform your deepest desires.

I'm wishing some of those NA fender flares, 0 offset wheels and all associated body work/paint completed on my Miata.

 

puff you get a blinged out miata but, then your turbo blows up and you trash the synchros of your tranny trying to keep up with Ben. :gay:

I wish that i could hit 400 whp on my miata before the MS and have it last 50-60K miles

 

*POOF* You complete your build, and get your DIY 400rwhp build completed for under $1000. Your car drives like butter,and runs the 1/4 in mid 10s on street tires & 93 octane. You then get sponsors, who mack you out with a new interior, brakes, bumpers, flares, and wheels. Then your multiple sclerosis kicks in, you get stuck in a power chair, and your car rots to death in the front yard.

I wish that somebody would landscape my yard.

 

*poof* your wife hires a young mexican boy to landscape your lawn. and while your to busy worrying about him trying to have sex with your wife he has sex with YOU!

i want a 12 in. dick and a dozen roses

 

*POOF* You get some 12inch dick. At first it hurt then you started to like it. The roses make you feel special.

I wish I could make people sponantiously combust. There would be little piles of ash all over my office.

 

*Poof* You can make people spontaniously combust, only problem is that your power only works on the person your having sex with. When you come into work the little piles of ash are in your office making a horrible mess at work in the morning.

I wish... I wish that I was impervious to disease and omnipotent.

Mark

 

*Poof* You become omnipotent and impervious to disease...while you never get sick, you see and hear all thoughts from every human on the planet and your mind overworks itself until you are driven crazy and you commit suicide.

I wish I had enough money to pay my credit card payments.

 

that's omniscient, not omnipotent...

*Poof* a sack of cash equal to your credit card debt drops into your hands but you spend it on fixing broken car parts and buying new wheels so you still have all your debt but at least your car works.

I wish I had a cat.

 

Poof, the lion eats you and craps you on the rug.

I wish work was fun.

 

oh ****...I need to learn to read...similar though:

Omnipotent - almighty or infinite in power, as God.

Omniscient - having complete or unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding; perceiving all things.

If one was omnipotent they would in turn be Omniscient

 

*Poof* work is fun. But since things have to even out you can no longer get paid. You lose the house, the car, wife, kids, cats ... everything but an old pair of plaid pants. But hey, you are having fun right!

I wish it were lunch time, and I was getting a BJ from the Queen of England. Don't ask ...

 

*poof* Your now getting a bj from the Queen of England. It turns out though, It is Queen Elizabeth the 1st who died in 1603 and your really getting a blow job from her dead body. When you notice this, your cut your dick off and gouge out your eye *****. Since you cant see anymore, you give me your car.

I wish is wasnt fat.

 

*poof* you're not fat - unfortuantly you end up being one of those starving kids that you see on the adverts at meal time trying to guilt you into donating money to worldvision. Angela Jolie sees this ad and decides to adopt you offering to brest feed you until your back at full heath (or aged 30 - whatever comes first). Unfortuantly the kids on the adverts all look the same and she grabs the wrong kid - leaving you stuck in some shithole - somewhat bitter.

I wish that I could actually drive well, and got selected for a F1 team (a top rtanking F1 team thank you) - oh and I dont want to crash

 

POOF** You can drive! You’re leading the F1 points championship by a wide margin. On your way to Monza your plane crashes and you die. You loose the drivers championship by 1 point.

I wish someone would buy my 944 turbo.

 

ouch good one.

 

poof you have a 944 turbo but it leaks oil like a seive and needs a complete suspension overhaul in the end you realize the money is better spent on your turbo miata.

I wish i wasn't so shy.

 

I think you might have mistaken. "I wish someone would buy my 944 turbo."
-Michael-

 

*POOF* You are no longer shy. You end up being very out going and forward. Unfortunately for you people STILL don't like you and you are still an outcast. This throws you into a deep depression and you start consuming massive amounts of girl guide cookies, until one day you are wiping your *** with a rag on a stick and can no longer see your ****. You have a panic attach and they have to air lift your massive, but outgoing, *** out through the roof of your double-wide.

I wish I could function at 100% with out any sleep.