Ultimate Noob 1st Post!!!
 

Sam: Hi, my name is Sam.

Everybody: "Hi Sam:wavey::wavey::wavey:"

Sam: I wuz jus hoping summbuddy wuld like know whutz the besst turbo for this blue Miata I just bought off this guy- I don have lotsa money so if you could tell me sumthing cheap I that would be cool. I saw sum eBay turbos and they seemed all cool and krome- how about those?

Everybody: :ughug::ughug::ughug:
"Hey Sam, go kill yourself now:bang:"
"Hey Sam, you're a stupid noob FAG:giggle:"
"Hey Sam, have you ever heard of the fucking search button... why don't you go fuck yourself:fawk:"
"Hey Sam, is english your 8th language or are you missing a chromosome?:asshole:"
"Hey Sam, GOOGLE, do you speak it MotherFucker!"

Sam: WoW, whatz everybody so MAD about? All I did wuz ask a question- sorry for being a NOOB but I dont no a hole lot about turboz. guess I should've gone to the malibu forum and asked them.

Everybody:
"Hey Mr. Silly, people are just busting your ballz!"
"Next time do a search and some homework before you post."
"How come you didn't read the sticky's... all the info is here for you!"
"Fill out your signature and and where you live in your profile."
"Grow a pair of ballz man, and next time use an ice-cream scooper to get the sand out of your vag!"

Sam: Hey, you gize are a rough crowd. Im gonna go take some remedial english at nite skool and do some reading. i'll be back in a week.

Everybody: Bye-bye douchebag, see you in turbo heaven!

1 WEEK LATER:
Sam: Well, I've taken the advice of the locals, so here goes. I just bought a 19XX Miata. It's blue and has the A/B/C package with 1XXk miles. It's stock but in good condition. I did a compression test and the motor seems strong. I've looked at Begi and FM and I think a semi-DIY build with Megasquirt and trying to buy parts is the way to go. I think I can meet my goal of 200whp for about $3000 including a clutch. I've got decent install and minor fab skills and have all the tools, so I can do everything myself. My location in is my profile so I hope some locals will contact me... I'd love to see some actual turbo Miata's in person. I'll be hanging around posting where I have advice to give... not so much turbo's, but I can talk suspension with the best of you. PS: I got an "A" at night school.:bigtu:

still a fuckin noob.

Still need a "No noobs left behind" program.

You know the sad/funny part is thats actually a pretty much what happens...and not just in that situation.


Quality post sam, quality post.

Sticky?

LOL

"next time use an ice-cream scooper to get the sand out of your vag!"

Laugh out loud funny Sam, thanks for a very entertaining thread, the unfortunate thing is that most noobs fail at step...well this one i wish they could see the point, but no, they have to keep arguing and get themselves bannished.
I hope this helps us save a few more good people from making classic mistakes here at MTmotherfuckingNET.

Most entertaining thing all day Sam! Sadly its so true.
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Funny, I've never personally run into this situation here, and I'm only at 30-something posts. Then again, I like search buttons and don't like asking questions about something I can find the answer to myself.

lol :bowrofl:

Nice noob writeup! You really nailed it on the noobish writing skillz, cause that shit is probably the worse part. Nothing wrong with being a noob, but for fuck sake try to type as if you have some type of education! :vash:

Vash-

hey guys whats easier supercharger or turbo?:fawk:

The other way that goes:

Sam: man fuck u guyz ur so mean i just asked a couple of simple questionz and u guyz r jumpin all over me

Senior Member 1: ban.
Senior Member 2: ban.
Moderator 1: ban
Senior member 3: ban.
Senior Member 4: ban.
Site owner: ban.
Moderator 2: ban.
Admin 1: band.

im sorry to thread jack guys, but i cant seemz to find my hidden key, you know, the one that mazda hides in the car?? near the bumper support?. i need help guys

Missed one part...

I'm proud of you, Son!! Been here since November, < 50 posts and knows hustler is... Well.. Himself.. :hustler::bowrofl:

my name is Sam! I'm a newb! :D

Then we'd also need to administer a standardized test where 80% of the takers would pass. This test would have to be neutral without bias for testers' ethnicity, origin, religion, sex, or physical handicap. Identities will need to be concealed from the oversight committee who grades them. Furthermore a trust would need to be created to protect our interests from when the mother of a non-passing test taker sues us. Sounds like a lot of hassle.

Dude, there's way too much beuracracy. Actual events are
Senior Member 1: ban
Moderator 1: pics or ban
THEN

Non compliance
Ban

OR
Compliance
Pictures saved and redistributed on P2P networks
Ban

You're still a Douchbag Noob..............
Oh, and a "Pickle Pirate" in the Navy

I know this is an old post but I don't think it will ever lose its flavor!

Wait what? Is this near the blinker fluid?