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advise me on selling the car

 
Old 12-26-2018, 05:53 PM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by Savington View Post
The title issues are devastating to the value. I assume the log manifold is a DIY or eBay item, not brand name, which drags down the value of the rest of the system. The ECU is worth pennies on the dollar. Unfortunately the only things of real value on the used market are the motor package ($2500 with the squaretop) and the shocks ($1500). List it at 5k (SNIP) Sell it to the first person who offers 4k
Originally Posted by huesmann View Post
And what the amount of aggravation you'll get from the spousal unit is worth compared to the amount of time you'll need to spend parting it out, both from a stripping the car perspective and a dealing with Craigslist and Facebook tire-kickers perspective.
Originally Posted by Stealth97 View Post
What if you parked it offsite for awhile to focus on the family? See what she thinks. It will be worth the same now as it will be properly stored for a year.
These last three replies sound like great advice to me. If you can store it off site and wait until the kids are a little older or you have more time/money available then isn't that better than selling your known car at a loss and buying another in the future only to have to spend more time/money building that one up? That's what I'd be telling my wife. Selling your car WILL be a PITA even if you live in or near a large city. Every normal buyer will read about it and see it as an unreliable money pit. It sounds like it needs tires and A/C work (not cheap and would require removing the refrigerant and recharging, correct?).

About ten years ago I sold my 1995 Escort GT (1.8 BP) that I had turbocharged. It ran fairly well but was approaching 130,000 miles and had already destroyed one transmission. It was running with an Jacob's electronics (?) ignition retard piggyback that pulled whatever degrees of timing you selected per psi of boost, totally inaccurate and analog **** control. It also had a piece of crap, BEGI FMU that I gutted (couldn't totally remove it because it was hacked into the plastic fuel return line) plus and larger injectors barely controlled by an Apex'i S-AFC II (?) that added fuel using a MAP sensor. The exhaust was 2.5" crush bent with a terribly crimped down-pipe. The car seemed like a hacked together mess to any sane buyer. Shortly after moving into my house some kids broke into it. They took the stereo and all the gauges except the they left the fuel and timing retard units in the glove box. The thieves also broke the A pillar trim and the power seatbelt. I was working 70 hour weeks and it still ran so I decided to sell it for whatever I could get. It took a few months but eventually sold on Craigslist for less than what it was worth in unmolested, OEM condition. I have no regrets selling it.

Good luck making your decision. It sounds like your wife is stressed out and I agree with others that you might want to push back a little and try to work this out. Don't simply fold and sell it if you really want THIS car in your future. Then again, the '19 Miata is looking really nice compared to my '01 LS...if only I can squeeze physically into one. Maybe a newer Miata is in your future as well?
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Old 12-26-2018, 05:59 PM
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Having lost my car after having it for almost the same length of time, I can empathize on the thoughts of losing it.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.
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Old 12-26-2018, 06:32 PM
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I completely understand the wife situation. In fact, if she is making ultimatums, it means you've let it go too far. What a terrible situation to put your wife into - having her feel that she needs to make you sell something you care about because it's taking up too much of your time. Way better to catch and pre-empt early. Own that failure, say sorry, and fix it, quick.
I think storing it is the best possible option. You can focus on the family and get yourself back to equality without sinking another hour into the car beyond that to drive it to wherever you find to store it.
I have a salvage title car and I've had to accept that fact that it's practically worthless despite countless hours and so many parts. You are going to get killed on the resale, and then there could be some lingering resentment that will not help things on the home front at all. Give it a couple years, and when you get back into it you'll also have a renewed joy of working on it. Take the time now to put all your time, care and attention into your wife and kid. You can tinker with your toy car any time in the rest of your life, but you'll never have the time with the wee one(s) again. It might just save the marriage too.
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Old 12-26-2018, 10:48 PM
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Have you considered selling the wife instead?
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Old 12-27-2018, 12:21 AM
  #25  
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I figured as much.

I'm going to get the AC and the oil leak fixed and then see how it goes. I'm not going to bother parting it out. Wife would kill me and I don't have the time anyway.

Due to toddler and work hours, this past year I've had very little time to:
  • work on the car
  • drive the car except to/from work
  • track days? hahahaha no
  • sleep
I realized a while ago that realistically I won't be able to mod cars with any sort of seriousness for probably another 10-15 years. Wife doesn't like the car anyway and pretty much feels any time I spend working on it or driving it could be spent helping with the baby. Which is true and I pretty much knew this going into the whole family making process.

Any idea how much to sell the XIDAs for? They've got a few hundred street miles on them. I'd leave them in, but I'm not sure it adds to the money I'll get for the car.

Wife doesn't want me storing the car, I tried that approach and she wants to use the garage slot for parking both the daily drivers.
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Old 12-27-2018, 06:31 AM
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Ditch that wife and pay child support for 18 years *or* pay by living a miserable life with a miserable wife for the next ~60 years? I don't know anything about your dynamic except for what you've told us but the fact that you're using words like permission and being allowed to do things makes me think you married your mother and not a wife who respects you and wants to see you happy. It may very well be that you are childish and irresponsible and that she has had to assume the dominant role, but again I do not know.

Some of the things in my first post in this thread were a bit tongue-in-cheek and should have been read as such.
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Old 12-27-2018, 08:14 AM
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Sounds like this is a no-compromise relationship. This won't get better as you sell your ****. First it's the car, next will be the mountain bike, or golf clubs, fishing poles etc... until you find out it was Post Partum Depression. You now resent each other, and you sold every bit of what makes you YOU. For pennies on the dollar.

Last edited by ryansmoneypit; 12-27-2018 at 09:35 AM.
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Old 12-27-2018, 08:42 AM
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Old 12-27-2018, 09:08 AM
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Yep. If you have to ask permission from your wife to have a simple hobby then you have a broken relationship.

Because I love and respect my wife I want her to have hobbies and interests and fun times that are meaningful to her and fulfill her. And she likewise wants me to have my hobbies and interests. They do not need to be shared hobbies. There are other things we share and do together. But we each have alone time for our own happiness and mental well-being. We like to see each other enjoying our own experiences meaningful to us. We want each other to be happy. We are not jealous if the other is happy, we are happy for them. We do not feel the need to make the other miserable if we feel our spouse is having more fun than we are. We are not jealous, we are genuinely pleased when the other experiences joy.

Postpartum depression is a very real thing. It is normal and most women experience it in varying degrees. Some of them murder their children or commit suicide and some just feel a little blue. Having just come through the winter solstice and some of the most depressing holidays of the year does not help. And she's fat and her body self image it's now ****, and exercise and things that would make her feel better and release endorphins are much harder to do when it's cold outside. And if you suggest exercise then you are a dick and you were calling her fat.

And she may not agree with you that she's even experiencing postpartum depression. She may just say you're being a dick and not trying to understand her needs.

But I would not get rid of the car. If you get rid of the car she will pick something else, as stated above. Don't pick a fight but be firm and kind when you tell her that the car is not a source of trouble for the family and not going to be disposed of because it is important for each of your mental health to have hobbies and interests. Never raise your voice. Be kind but firm.

Spitting a child out of one's ****, while an interesting feat, does not make one head of the household. It doesn't even make one special, if you look around at some of the lowest in society who have completed this task. While I'm sure it is a profound experience for the one who has done nothing more interesting in their lives, it need not necessitate them elevating themselves in their minds to god-like status.

She had a child, great. Our stray cat had six at once and never once complained about the car being in the garage. Which one handled it better?
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Old 12-27-2018, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by sixshooter View Post
Spitting a child out of one's ****, while an interesting feat, does not make one head of the household. It doesn't even make one special, if you look around at some of the lowest in society who have completed this task. While I'm sure it is a profound experience for the one who has done nothing more interesting in their lives, it need not necessitate them elevating themselves in their minds to god-like status.
do you do any of the things in this:

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love...r-mental-load/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...=.c5b1ffe55573

https://blog.trello.com/mental-load-...le-work-stress

https://www.scarymommy.com/leave-mental-load-behind/

Last edited by Braineack; 12-27-2018 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 12-27-2018, 10:01 AM
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Between FL registration and liability insurance it's not more than a couple $100 a year to keep the car on the road. Set it aside if you need to and it'll be there when the time is right.

A kid doesn't mean you need to abandon everything you've ever enjoyed. My daughter has been outside with me "working" on the car since she was able to hold her head up, one of her first words was "lugnuts". Mom enjoys some quiet time and I at least get a little work done on the car. Ditch that passenger airbag and you'll be cruising around with the kid in no time.




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Old 12-27-2018, 10:07 AM
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From the sounds of it, your main issue is communication with your spouse. Marriage counseling is highly worth it in my experience. Check with your employer, many of them have an employee assistance program that will pay for it.

Irrefutably, your options are:

- sell it for almost nothing.
- spend time that you don't have parting it out, sell the parts for a little more money and way less than you paid in the first place.
- put the car in storage and stop thinking about it for a while.

I suppose it's a remote possibility that you'll con some sucker into paying too much for a salvage title car, but I'm skeptical. Around here the guys that are into Miatas are mostly high school kids or the cheapest bastards in the car world, always working on some new scam to scrounge up $20 to buy used brake pads or some **** like that. It's not a Porsche.

She may not like these options, but they are what they are. There is no magic bullet here, hobby cars are not a winning proposition from a time or financial standpoint. The faster you can discuss these options with 100% honesty and clarity, and agree on the best solution for your family, the better shape your marriage will be in.

But get counseling, seriously.
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Old 12-27-2018, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by sixshooter View Post
Yep. If you have to ask permission from your wife to have a simple hobby then you have a broken relationship.

Because I love and respect my wife I want her to have hobbies and interests and fun times that are meaningful to her and fulfill her. And she likewise wants me to have my hobbies and interests. They do not need to be shared hobbies. There are other things we share and do together. But we each have alone time for our own happiness and mental well-being. We like to see each other enjoying our own experiences meaningful to us. We want each other to be happy. We are not jealous if the other is happy, we are happy for them. We do not feel the need to make the other miserable if we feel our spouse is having more fun than we are. We are not jealous, we are genuinely pleased when the other experiences joy.

Postpartum depression is a very real thing. It is normal and most women experience it in varying degrees. Some of them murder their children or commit suicide and some just feel a little blue. Having just come through the winter solstice and some of the most depressing holidays of the year does not help. And she's fat and her body self image it's now ****, and exercise and things that would make her feel better and release endorphins are much harder to do when it's cold outside. And if you suggest exercise then you are a dick and you were calling her fat.

And she may not agree with you that she's even experiencing postpartum depression. She may just say you're being a dick and not trying to understand her needs.

But I would not get rid of the car. If you get rid of the car she will pick something else, as stated above. Don't pick a fight but be firm and kind when you tell her that the car is not a source of trouble for the family and not going to be disposed of because it is important for each of your mental health to have hobbies and interests. Never raise your voice. Be kind but firm.

Spitting a child out of one's ****, while an interesting feat, does not make one head of the household. It doesn't even make one special, if you look around at some of the lowest in society who have completed this task. While I'm sure it is a profound experience for the one who has done nothing more interesting in their lives, it need not necessitate them elevating themselves in their minds to god-like status.

She had a child, great. Our stray cat had six at once and never once complained about the car being in the garage. Which one handled it better?
Don't hold it back, tell us how you really feel!

Seriously though, while I refrained from commenting on the relationship aspect in my initial reply to the thread I share many of the same thoughts being expressed: something seems broken. I/we could be wrong, but it doesn't sound like the car is the actual problem. I mean, we are talking about maybe $4-5k IF you can fix the issues AND find the right buyer. I don't know you, your wife, or your situation, but even on the high end that isn't an amount worth making ultimatums and generating the resentment that will ultimately result from this debacle. It isn't like you secretly built this car behind her back and she just found out. Sounds like you had it (and did most of the work!) prior to getting married. She should have had an idea of what she was getting into.

That being said, kids are hard. Compromises need to be made, and you may not get everything that you want. But in a compromise both sides need to give. Yes, you may not get to do AS MUCH car stuff as you might want because you are helping with the house and kid. But to tell you that you need to give up your hobby entirely doesn't seem right.

PERSONAL ANECDOTE TIME! My wife and I have 3 kids (3, 2, and 6 months). I don't get to work on the car myself as much as I'd like, and I don't get to go to drives and meets hardly at all anymore, but NEVER ONCE has she hinted that the car would need to go. I'm fortunately able to pay others to do the work I won't make the time for, and it's understandable that you may not be in that position. However, you have a running car that just needs a little maintenance (that you would need to do regardless of whether you sell it or keep it). One kid doesn't mean that all fun stops. And for the record, my kids LOVE "Daddy's Zoom-Zoom car".
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Old 12-27-2018, 11:11 AM
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Just to add a little bit to that- my kids are 10 and 13 now, and I have all sorts of time to work on my car and do track days. Obviously this was not the case when they were 3 and 5.

The time passes quicker than you think.
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Old 12-27-2018, 11:42 AM
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sell the baby instead. problem solved.
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Old 12-27-2018, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
sell the baby instead. problem solved.
Definitely the most cost effective option.
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Old 12-27-2018, 12:48 PM
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Just eat the thing
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Old 12-27-2018, 12:54 PM
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This thread has me dying. You guys are absolutely hilarious.

Side-note. This is why I'm single.
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Old 12-27-2018, 01:05 PM
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I bought my Miata when our son was 2 months old, and he's now 4.5. It's definitely been a struggle to find a good balance, but fir me it comes down to viewing car time as a treat. I make it clear that it's important to me to be able to do sometimes, but I also really try to make sure it's a very low priority, so that my wife stays happy. Having kids sure takes a lot of time and energy, so it's hard to fit other things in after work and kid time. Like spending 1-1 time with your wife and making sure she knows she is loved and appreciated.

If you get way out of balance, then you end up where you are now. Maybe that means doing marriage counseling, and maybe it means selling your car. You can start over with a new car in a couple years. Just hang on to those xidas so you are ready. Maybe pull the engine and keep it in the garage for the next car, and scrap the one you have. When you start over it could be a clean title car.
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Old 12-27-2018, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by nigelt View Post

If you get way out of balance, then you end up where you are now. Maybe that means doing marriage counseling, and maybe it means selling your car. You can start over with a new car in a couple years. Just hang on to those xidas so you are ready. Maybe pull the engine and keep it in the garage for the next car, and scrap the one you have. When you start over it could be a clean title car.
This exact thing happened to me, except it was with my job. They EXPECT me to work 70-80hrs a week, instead of asking now.
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