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Old 03-03-2010, 10:46 AM   #21
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ChuckyZ?
Aaaah no....

I say **** his wife
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:08 AM   #22
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Have you considered asking them to make their dogs STFU? If that fails, call the SPCA about that time you saw abuse.
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:18 AM   #23
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My In-laws have called animal control on their neighbors dogs more than a few times. I'm glad my condo is a dog free zone.
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:23 PM   #24
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Knock on his door and tell him to shut his dogs up. If that fails, beat his car and steal his women. Then file the complaint, you did warn him. Not only was it alpha-maleish to knock on his door and inform him he is a dipshit, you did the nice thing by telling him before he got in trouble.
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:26 PM   #25
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time to call epic beard man and ask for a favor.
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:34 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by budget racer View Post
time to call epic beard man and ask for a favor.
You mean Hustler??
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:44 PM   #27
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take a **** on his doorstep
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:57 PM   #28
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Yeah, that's the point of agreements and papers you sign. Also, if it won't get taken care of by your management company or board or whoever oversees the people living there, then animal control or local law enforcement will take care of that. Last thing SPCA, saying that there is animal neglect going on next door.
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:33 PM   #29
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take a **** on his doorstep
I like your style
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:38 PM   #30
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Thank you! We are having quite the issue with the two dogs owned by our next door neighbor, which are kept outside and adjoining our property. There is no covenant which allows us recourse, and we'd been thinking about just such a solution!


Quote:
Originally Posted by thymer View Post
This post was about how to be the alpha, not to be a little ***** and whine to the board about "violations".
This reminds me very much of when I lived in an apartment building in Carlsbad a few years ago. A group of us tended often and loudly to congregate in various garages, and also at the pool, running BBQ grills and margarita blenders, and playing Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley quite loudly. Motorcycle burnouts were occasionally performed, and the older folks often adjourned into the nearest electrical closet to get high. In other words, we broke all the rules.

Our group was informally headed up by a man who was, indisputably, the Alpha Male of the complex. His name was Vern, a short, stocky bald man in his mid 60s who was a former Army Special Forces soldier and who now ran a flooring business. He was essentially Epic Beard Man, only not as tall, somewhat better dressed, and sane.

Vern operated by a complex and insidious set of rules. At no time can I recall him ever raising his voice to another person, nor did he ever make threats of physical violence (except against his third wife's idiot son, who was a druggie, a thief, and an ex-con.) Instead, Vern correctly realized that the pen was mightier than the sword.

On one particularly notable occasion, our apartment received a new manager, who had a bit of a Napoleon complex. Rather than confront the man directly, Vern printed up a one page form outlining his grievances against the new manager, encouraging the residents to phone up the corporate office and describe their feelings on the matter (he included the direct number of the CEO of the management group), and taped a copy of this to each and every door in the complex one afternoon. Within one week, a moving van arrived to carry away the belongings of the new manager, who had, quite suddenly, been transferred to a property in Utah owned by the same company.

Nobody ever fucked with Vern. Well, one guy did, but he wound up in prison.



Several years prior, when I owned a home in Maineville, OH, I had a problem with barking dogs behind me. Didn't think of the ultrasonic thing, I just went to the supermarket and purchased a whole calf's head (with the skin removed), which I set upon a pike driven into the neighbor's front yard early one morning, with a note attached. Not long after, they apparently decided that inside the house was a much better place for the dogs to live, though I can't say whether one thing had to do with the other, as I never spoke to them.
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:46 PM   #31
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I love it when Joe tells stories.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:01 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Full_Tilt_Boogie View Post
take a **** on his doorstep
Correction,

****, ****, ***, and spit as much as you can into a trash bag, tie it up and let it sit out in the sun for a week, then dump it on his doorstep.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:04 PM   #33
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Walk right up to him,and ask him nicely to please keep his dogs quiet.When He gets all puffy and ****,Unleash the fury on his ***,Every time the dogs start barking..call the Man...The first time say its the dogs..The next time say you hear screaming and that it sounds like his woman.After that tell him that oftejn times condo assoc.have rules about that sort of crap and after afew domestic diturbance calls the police will really happy with him.That should help him get his mind right...if that does workthen kick his *** and let his dog go free.
(G)
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:07 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reverend Greg View Post
Walk right up to him,and ask him nicely to please keep his dogs quiet.When He gets all puffy and ****,Unleash the fury on his ***,Every time the dogs start barking..call the Man...The first time say its the dogs..The next time say you hear screaming and that it sounds like his woman.After that tell him that oftejn times condo assoc.have rules about that sort of crap and after afew domestic diturbance calls the police will really happy with him.That should help him get his mind right...if that does workthen kick his *** and let his dog go free.
(G)
^this

except there should be some bodily functions done on his doorstep too
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:31 PM   #35
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Off-Topic Forum - j-body.org - the jbody organization

Epic thread on how to irritate your neighbor. Might have to register to view it though.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:38 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by rccote View Post
Correction,

****, ****, ***, and spit as much as you can into a trash bag, tie it up and let it sit out in the sun for a week, then dump it on his doorstep.
You forgot the part where you light it on fire and ring the doorbell and then run.
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:40 PM   #37
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Dont run,
Just wait for him to open the door and then punch him in the ******* face really ******* hard.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:18 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
Several years prior, when I owned a home in Maineville, OH, I had a problem with barking dogs behind me. Didn't think of the ultrasonic thing, I just went to the supermarket and purchased a whole calf's head (with the skin removed), which I set upon a pike driven into the neighbor's front yard early one morning, with a note attached. Not long after, they apparently decided that inside the house was a much better place for the dogs to live, though I can't say whether one thing had to do with the other, as I never spoke to them.
this reminds me of when i graduated from high school, my parents had a bbq with a pig. i saved the head and put on a friends driveway in front of his house. i don't think i've talked to him since
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:30 PM   #39
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I just went to the supermarket and purchased a whole calf's head (with the skin removed), which I set upon a pike driven into the neighbor's front yard early one morning,
Now THAT'S old school. Nicely done.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:34 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by jayc72 View Post
Now THAT'S old school. Nicely done.
Yes indeed, well played
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