So ummmm yeah...Looks like I am a stay at home Dad now. This feels very weird. The wife makes about 3x as much as me (she waits tables) so we decided I would finish up my bachelors and be a full time Daddy rather than school+work+part time Dad.

I haven't gone without a job since before I was old enough to work. I now have to rely on her to bring in the money for things like the mortgage or car notes...rather than myself.


So yeah...what do you do whenever you are tired of ****, don't want to be a pot head and need something to buy up your time.......?

 

How about you do what a normal house wife/husband would do. Take care of the kid, the house, wash dishes/clothes, vacuum, make dinner, etc...

 

My temporary early retirement creates a similar situation sorta. Besides bitching about things on the internet, I seriously make tables and stuff. I just made a huge scafolding thingy that my Kayak now hangs from so that it does not take up so much floor space. My old exhuast is up there too. With good weather I get out of my place as often as possible to retain sanity as well. Take the kids with. Its good for them.

 

He has a little baby, new born I think. If he goes out with that thing to a park or something he will get bombarded with *****. Then he'll end up pulling a Tiger.

 

Not if he drives around in a white van with no windows.

 

That says free candy on the side.

 

take up a inexpensive hobby! example: woodworking(make some furniture), gardening(go play in the dirt in your yard, stuff like that!

 

A man runs over a woman. Who's fault is it?

The man's, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen in the first time. But in this case, it's backwards. Go make me a sandwich .

Be a good daddy.

 

^Thats what I do. Made a sweet coffe table for a freind who just graduated Law school. Integrated chess board awesomeness. Cost me maybe 60 bucks in matirials including the stain and poly and all.

 

you can make some serious good bucks making tables and stuff and selling them to folks!

 

Its how the omish have been making money for a long time.

 

fix people's miata's for profit?

 

He doesn't even know how to fix his own though. Haven't you read his threads?

 

Wow, I was in exactly your position almost 3yrs ago. My daughter was a few months old, I'd just wrapped up an associates and was transferring for a bachelors. I went to only working weekends.

1. Your family dynamic is going to change. This will require you to be humble, but still stand tall as a man. Learn to not give a **** about what other people think. Your are your own family, so don't let your parents or in-laws dictate policy, give guilt trips or what not. The two of you know what you're in for and why you're doing it. Never forget that or lose sight of the goal.

2. Stay motivated. Easy to say now, but depending on your wife, even while studying, will eventually start to get to you. Hard to explain, but you feel less empowered over your situation, and the pressure to do well in school will do tremendous. I got to the point where every bad grade would cast me in the gutter. It's a vicious cycle that only brings you down unless you take it in stride and keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

3. Let her know how special she is every day. I was thinking your wife, but both of them really. On your wife though, let her know that you appreciate her hard work, that you understand what's she's doing, that you think about where she is during the course of the day while you're studying etc. Do everything you can to help, and don't learn to despise any of it. She will come home tired and basically command you sometimes. Which leads to the next point...

4. Practice respectful communication. This is important as the dynamic in a relationship changes, because there is opportunity to develop very bad habits. Avoid "you"s and "I"s when mad unless saying "I feel like ___ when you ___" Remove "always" and "never" from your daily vocabulary with each other. Ya'll will both be under more concentrated stress, and you're kidding yourself if the weight of maintaining a house isn't extra heavy for a woman. She won't always say what she means and it won't always come out right. Don't take all words for face value and don't return them in spite. Try and figure out what she's really saying underneath it all.

5. Do everything you can as soon as you can. You will find out very soon that your time is scarce becoming scarcer. You don't want to waste your time worrying and stressing about school when you're with family, and vice versa. To avoid this, you have to absolutely be in the moment. I do school, work and family all in the same day, and it's hard to be completely attentive with my daughter when I should. Let everything else go when home, and recharge your batteries while letting them know they're the world to you. Then you'll be ready for school the next morning. If you bust your *** and get all your assignments done, or at least to where you know what you're doing the next day and what's left, then you can come home, be happy, and sleep the peaceful sleep of an honest man. Trust me, when you slack, procrastinate or fail to finish assignments it will eat you up. And don't fall behind, even for a second.



I think that's it. Good luck!

 

Ugh, I want to be rich and have someone else take care of my kids :P

 

no i haven't lol

rephrase: learn how to fix your miata?

 

Use your time to make something useful to sell for extra money, like electronic det-cans.

Oh, sorry, that one's taken. But you get the idea. Jeff's making a fair amount of spending money with just a simple idea and a little initiative.

 

The potential is there. I see tables for about 1500 bucks that I could beat big time for much less. But to really do it right you need:

Proper tools. My stuff takes forever because I make it by hand. I have a borrowed orbital sander and a dremel. Thats it. Hand sawing. Which means I measure about 40 times because if I am off I am done. That coffee table I made took maybe a dozen full afternoons. (I do resume stuff in the morning if I am not working some odd-job.)

And you need a way to sell it.

But having said that, you can make some cool stuff for relatively cheap. I can get true Zebra wood right out of West Africa for about 25 bucks a borad-foot. A well done table from that is worth a good bit on the market. Do NOT just get normal lumber from Home Depot or Lowes, its always warped and splintered and sucky. Find a local wood supplier. The one I go to has a guy working in the back on his own stuff and he knows his ****. people like that are gold to help you learn. the fact that I get to do odd jobs with a carpenter is a huge help to LOL.

There too OP, something like this can make money or be money neutral and it could be great when the kid is sleeping or at school or whatever.

 

buy and sell **** for a profit.

oh and learn how to lactate. that kid aint feedin itself.