WESamiss

I did just this. Let me tell you, we were in the same boat. I had my own house (renting), I had a 240sx with about 400hp, work and beer all day EVERYday. I loved life. I dont know why i did it but i quit my 32k year job and joined the airforce. Now im depressed, and making lots less then 20k a year.
My choice also hurt my family life.

I have to tell you, the choice i made wasnt for me. BUT dont think im telling you it was a bad choice. I will have a great thing to add to my resume for the job in the future.
Like you, I didnt know what i wanted to do with my life.

Go Air National Guard or Reserve, its cake work. Also you get paid for it. And if you ever lose your job, you can transfer to active duty.
If you go at all.

OH YEAH, if you want to keep the girl, do not join. It WILL end the relationship.

Stein

iTrader: (46)

OK, serious answer. You asked for it and I'm giving you my best answer. I read all of the posts before replying in case it has already been covered.

I quoted neo because I don't think he is an *******. I thought the same thing when I read your post. Her working out is her starting to mentally "move on".

While I don't think she is already cheating, she is considering it or at least leaving so that she can pursue other options. She is career driven. You, by admission, are not. She is considering life decisions and is checking (by her questions) if your views align with hers. Your answers are telling her volumes and making her decision for her. I'm sure she is attacted to you. She is deciding if you are worth a long term investment. You need to do the same.

I'm thinking that your comment about each doing their own thing tells me that you like the convenience of the relationship but don't really have a vested interest in the long haul. If she sticks around and accepts you as you are, great. If not, great. Either way works for you.

You (or others) might think that I am pretty egotistical to formulate all of these opinions from a few paragraphs that you wrote. I do it from experience as I was in your shoes, relationship-wise with my first wife. We were great at the beginning (met in college) and married. A couple of years into it I started working night shift. We rarely saw each other. I resented not being able to spend time with my friends (they were all still single) so I just finally started doing it.

Everything started going great. I was able to go fishing, go away for weekends with the guys, play poker Friday and Saturday nights. She never complained. I figured I had it pretty good.

Another year passes. At one time I actually said "you make a great roommate". Life went on, I worked, played. All was good. Finally I find out that she is having an affair with a guy at her work. It all fell apart in two days. We divied up the stuff, sold the house and each went our own way. She did go on to marry the guy. I guess she is happy. I was devastated for a few months. I thought I had it all.

I was single for three years. Had a great time. Got remarried again 12 years ago. (at 30 this time, she was 36 and never married) We get along great.

Well, that's too much about me and more than I've dropped on a forum before, but I think that you can see where I came off with the comments that I did above now. I lived it. You are living it now. How you go forward from here is for you alone to decide.

SKMetalworks

iTrader: (7)

Sounds like the only reason your staying with her is for a booty call like somone said earlier. If you know that your not going to spend the rest of the life with her... then kick her out. Most ( i say this loosly) people date to find "the one." When your dating you get to know the person and when you are at the point where you know that she isn't the one. Time for the next one. Theres more girls in the world than guys; so we have our pick. Men have to have hobbies or else we will go insane. On the other hand, you have to work, to make it. A relationship is give and take.

Make the right choice, kick her to the kurb

zoomin

iTrader: (16)

Not sure where to start, but I will try to offer some advice. I'm 31 and am in the middle of a career change and going back to school. I spent 5 years in the Army from age 18-23 and am still figuring out what I want to do with my life almost 9 years after being discharged. I was seriously injured in the Army and will draw a check the rest of my life, not enough to really live on but it helps. But between that and my GI Bill it comes out to the equivalent of making about $36k a year. I have almost zero debt and have a pretty good life not having to work.

Here is the downside, I have a very hard time focusing on school and am barely passing some of my classes. I am a genius by nature and was documented at a young age, but can barely sit still outside of a classroom. But I realize that in order to be successful I do need more education than I currently have. I have my real estate license and even worked as a mechanic before, neither of which I want to do as a career. So for now I am just taking general ed classes to try and figure out what to do with my life in hopes of falling into something that fits me as a person.

My girlfriend is 34, very stable, and very beautiful. We are opposites when it comes to education and managing our time, but we have never met anyone else we have communicated as well with as we do with each other. She gets irritated when I wait until the last minute to do my homework, but she is happy to help sometimes. We balance each other out in many ways, so we stay hopeful that we will find a way to make it work.

My marketing professor once told me that no matter what it might pay, you need to do a job your heart is into, otherwise you will never be happy. He told me the story of a commercial pilot who was unhappy with his job. When asked what he really loved to do, he said he wanted to work at a plumbing and hardware store he had worked at as a high school student. After some adjustment and budgeting, his family relocated back to Idaho and he ended up owning that store. He made 1/3 of his piloting salary, but never regretted it.

What it boils down to is what makes YOU happy. If you are in school, are you doing it for you or someone else? If you feel you can find a decent job that you are happy with, do it!

Forgot to add that she is glad I have many hobbies, just doesn't want it getting in the way of homework! That is the hardest part for me!!

zoomin

iTrader: (16)

Does hustler actually have a heart in there? Seriously, what do you do and what are the requirements?

kenzo42

iTrader: (6)

You might have been a documented genius while young, but does that still makes you a genius at present time? I'm curious.

Can precocious development at a young age play into being considered a "genius"?

zoomin

iTrader: (16)

What happened was we moved from NC to Maine when I was young and it messed me up pretty badly, never really adjusted socially. But when I joined the Army my scores were high enough to qualify for Officer Candidate School(OCS), even though my high school grades suffered severely. If I hadn't been hurt I would likely be flying for the border patrol at this point, I scored well on the Flight Aptitude Selection Test just before my accident. I was in Aviation and worked with the fuel systems on helicopters, so it was my hope to eventually fly.

BradC

iTrader: (6)

That or he's used that line enough trying to pull tail that he's starting to believe it...

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

19755 posts. > 458 posts.

olderguy

iTrader: (19)

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

And I'm still happily married. Dump the bitch, buy a cat, profit.

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

and this is how we keep the spark alive:

Newbsauce

iTrader: (2)

Here's my thoughts:
Job
I've been to northern KY, and I ******* love it there (Florence). If your making 42k still, that's a solid amount for that area since the cost of living is dirt cheap. I saw new construction in the 170s, so I can imagine your 120k house is pretty nice. So if your happy with your job, do your job. If you aren't.. start looking for some other field (you know the IRS is there, which is a good fed job) to fund your....

Cars/Projects
Owning a house is a huge step, I signed my life away on one just yesterday! I'd recommend maybe shedding some of those projects in favor of taking on the house as a project. Might be time to part with your mullet and your camaro if the miata is already your project. The woman or you will always have a house project you will be working on in the future which you will need time for.. leading to....

The Bitch
This is a tough area, don't listen to everyone on MT.net about women. Your 23, bear in mind, most people are having unprotected promiscuous sex at this age. Maybe getting a little rash or two. You need to ask yourself whether or not this bitch is the one for the future. I'm going to guess the answer is most likely no (unless it has been long term). The gym thing is good, that means she cares how she looks. Unfortunately, gym go-ers and non gym go-ers rarely end up working out. Why? Because she will stare at ripped up dudes all day at the gym and going as a couple is pretty commonplace. Schooling... women NOT in the work force do NOT understand what it's like to come home after a long day at work. I was working 50 hr weeks in the beginning (40 hrs work + 12 hrs of classes), and my girlfriend at the time was mad when I wanted a night to play volleyball because I did not spend enough time with her.
All that being said, don't put yourself through a struggle if she's not the one. DO NOT FORCE IT. Forcing it = marriage to someone you dont want to spend 50 years with. If she's not your best friend, she will eventually end up with half of what you worked hard to own.

leatherface24

iTrader: (10)

gospeed81

iTrader: (51)

Best damn non-car advice I've seen on this forum.

FRT_Fun

iTrader: (19)

Don't join the military. I spend most of my days dreaming of the day I can GTFO. Sure, free school (plus E5 BAH) is a sweet deal, but not worth it IMO. I am pushing my luck on month 8 out here. Some people say they love it out here, but I don't believe it. Just the infantry ego. I guess if you work out a sweet deal and get to a strat location it isn't all that bad, but still have to deal with the usual Army/Military BS.

How much time do you spend on here daily? If it is over 3 hours that might be a problem. Although I am usually multitasking when I log on here, checking my email/classifieds/family website/instant messenger/facebook.. so I don't really count that.

Pitlab77

iTrader: (3)

Hum I actually agree with something hustler posted

I to am a public servant and I love the fact that when I wake up I am helping children everyday. I worked at a bank for 1 week and i promptly walked out the door because I hated the feeling of having to up sell and "cheat" people out of money to make my living.

Life is bigger than money.

ZX-Tex

iTrader: (15)

Also should throw in, if I married one of the chicks I was with when I was in my early 20s it would not have worked out for sure. One of the benefits of getting serious/married later in life. No reason to rush it IMO.

UrbanSoot

iTrader: (24)

YOU NEED TO **** HER!

thats what your problem is.

me:
im 23 and i work 10-12 hours a day M-F and then another 4-10 hours on weekend. im completely broke because all our investors backed out after market crash and i basically survive on $2-4k/mo (coming from $11-15k/mo before that)

her:
shes 21 and works full time and her office is 5 minutes away from mine so we carpool to work.

us:
just moved to my apartment although we lived together at her place for over 5 years now and i had my place for about 4 years but we didnt come there at all.

our solution:
netflix and lots of *******. neither her or me complain about how boring life is and i still get to work on my cars and whatever else i want to dedicate my time to.

wayne_curr

iTrader: (8)

I gotta agree...lots of sex keeps the girlfriend meter high. If you aren't humping her, she's miserable.