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Old 03-13-2012, 07:00 PM   #1
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Default Why Hustler can have your chick tonight

I recently got a pm from a guy wanting to know if forum Hustler is the same in life outside of miataturbo. Since this dude is obviously a homo, I didn't respond. Instead I'll tell the rest of you what I know. I have been racing with him since 08 and recently stayed in Dallas for a week and we partied every night. These are some bullets of facts I know.

He has a badge
He can open carry
He has two miatas that he drives everyday undercover
The green miata has blue lights
His girlfriend has a facebook page just for her hair
They have threesomes
Every club we went to, we got in the back door
He gets free booze at the clubs
He wont sit in the VIP section
He dropped a guy leaving a bar when he grabbed his GF ***
He fed a stray cat 5min later
He really can bench 365lbs
His cat chewed a hole in my suitcase
He had a GT3RS but lemon lawed it
I once called him while he was listening to freebird in the green miata and he yelled at me
He paid for a second room at the Hotel near MSR-H so he could bang chicks and then youtube their walk of shame from the other room the next morning
He knows way too much about wine
He will drink whiskey but prefers wine
He eats horse meat...really
He plays poker with the heads of many tribes at their private casinos
He once got a DUI ticket and they let him drive away from the scene
His white daily miata is krylon painted and has ripped seats with 2k shocks
His Mom is stunningly hott
His sister also has a turbo miata
His Dad is actually the Hustler in real life
He wont buy a house because he considers property tax rent
He has given millions of dollars away

I'm dead serious.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:12 PM   #2
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He will curb-stomp you if you diss him.
He will let you crash on his sofa if you need it.
He will pay for the beers, if you buy lunch.
His cat will stalk you, then strike when least expected.
He had a black belt once, but gave it back because he didn't want to bow to his adversary before kicking their ***.
If you are a cool person, he will let you drive the chariot of the Gods.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:45 PM   #3
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Why do I picture that list being read in Jeremy Clarkson's voice, with the words "Some say..." before it?
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:49 PM   #4
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Instead of having an guard dog, he has a guard cat.
He really does look sometimes like a skinny mexican waring funny glasses IRL, but only when he wants to.
He can cook better then the average woman.
Ron Swanson is his uncle, or maybe his brother.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:57 PM   #5
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he used to be about gloves and now is all about chalk.
he refers to cashmere as ca$h-meer.
He's from texas and he likes his meat rare.


And no ii don't doubt you all went in the back door whatsoever.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:59 PM   #6
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I dunno. When I met him, he seemed like a nice, clean-cut young man to me.

But, it was raining and dark at the time.

Hmmmmm.

Last edited by hornetball; 03-14-2012 at 12:08 AM.
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Old 03-13-2012, 08:52 PM   #7
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Most of Jake's are true, lol. The "freebird" comment is totally true. Never, ever call me when I'm listening to Freebird!

If you really think that dude is homo, have him PM me. I need someone to do some modeling for me.

Its funny how people think I can be "normal" after all the things I've done a seen. Do you really think a guy with as many kills as me can go back to where he was before?
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Old 03-13-2012, 09:29 PM   #8
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Thread has potential
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Old 03-13-2012, 09:34 PM   #9
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today I saw two guys spotting squats...i thought of hustler.
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Old 03-13-2012, 10:05 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
today I saw two guys spotting squats...i thought of hustler.
Yeah, Hustler will go out of his way to spot somebody taking a squat.
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Old 03-13-2012, 10:21 PM   #11
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The funny thing and inside joke to Trey is 12 or more of the bullets I posted are dead nuts true lol. He is a cool guy and I'm glad to call him a friend.
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:28 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
today I saw two guys spotting squats...i thought of hustler.
CORROBORATED. There was DEFINITE rubbing of *** and groin. These guys were spooning while standing. In matching red shorts.

I went on a sexy date with Hustler once.
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:52 PM   #13
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I have met Hustler once in person. He is every bit as vulgar in real life as his character on the internet.
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:07 AM   #14
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pics of hustler's cat plox.
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:24 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacob300zx View Post
The funny thing and inside joke to Trey is 12 or more of the bullets I posted are dead nuts true lol. He is a cool guy and I'm glad to call him a friend.
I can't express to you how sad it makes me that I can't come to TXMC this weekend or many others this year. Getting crunk and acting like an idiots while showing off guns is America!
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:32 AM   #16
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Tear, I lub Merica
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:37 AM   #17
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he asked me if he anyone made a holster so he could carry a gun in his boot
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:38 AM   #18
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Truth:

He has a badge
He can open carry
He has two miatas that he drives everyday undercover
His girlfriend has a facebook page just for her hair
They have threesomes (with animals)
He gets free booze at the clubs
He wont sit in the VIP section
He dropped a guy leaving a bar when he grabbed his GF ***
He fed a stray cat 5min later (daily)
He really can bench 265lbs
He had a TT225 but lemon lawed it
I once called him while he was listening to freebird in the green miata and he yelled at me
He knows way too much about wine
He will drink whiskey but prefers wine
He eats horse meat...really (once)
He plays poker with the heads of many tribes at their private casinos
His white daily miata is krylon painted and has ripped seats with 2k shocks
His Mom was stunningly hott
His sister also has a turbo miata
His Dad is actually the Hustler in real life
He wont buy a house because he considers property tax rent
He has given millions of dollars away
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:40 AM   #19
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Hustler, I need to know...
Is this a photo of you?
Why Hustler can have your chick tonight-dosequis.jpg
Because you sound like the most interesting man in the world.
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:52 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirdgen View Post
Hustler, I need to know...
Is this a photo of you?
Attachment 36770
Because you sound like the most interesting man in the world.
more like...

[slightly NSFW (dude butt)]

Hustler
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