I LOVE cats...same way I love General Tso's.

 

sounds like a personal problem...

 

It is. A problem called allergies. I hate them. I still hate cats, though. They are good for absolutely nothing... except superficial scarring on your arms and legs, destroyed furniture and CAT SCRATCH FEVER!!!

Plus I had an encounter with a possessed cat which kind of did them in for me. I swear to whatever God you believe in, this thing was possessed by some sort of demon.

 

Today one of my cats tried to sneak behind me to clean his nail on the back of my leg. I caught the little ******, and escaped the imminent attack.

 

My kitty was a raging bitch last night and wouldn't stop biting, fighting, or tearing **** up. We played with the laser pointer several times but she was hell-bent on tearing my **** up. I even tried biting back and it stopped her for a moment, then she continued fighting. She likes to sit on the love-seat and attack anyone who passes.

 

Cats = The Demise of Mankind

 

you guys are pussies.


hahah get it? pussies, as in ***** cats. lolzzzzzzz




yawn

 

Mailing address?

 

411 North Franklin Street
Tampa, Florida
33602.

Send me some questionable goods as well, LOL.

 

I know what that is...hahaha!

 

Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! If I had any suspicion that you would have sent something I wouldn't have posted that address.

 

dumpster cat prepares to murder your family:

lol @ trash-heap by the door.

 

So how much of your life did you waste in order to get that shot?
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He probably pressed the "yawn" button. Its um...hidden.

 

Correct. I do believe it is hidden up the anus of the person next to him in the room. If he is by himself, he removed it from said person and shoved it up his own anus. Easily (for him) accessible 'yawn' button, any time, any day. Bah ha ha. I have a headache.

 

Me arguing with girlfriend:
Me: South Park is awesome, it's the one cartoon with real jokes and not just dumb little anecdotes
Her: It's just creepy! I watched one a couple of years ago and it wasn't even funny
Me: Creepy? What happened? There is nothing creepy at all about South Park...
Her: Isn't it the one with the kid with the disproportional head and the grim reaper?
Me: ... *Facepalm*

EDIT: It goes on:
Me: That's deffinately not South Park...
Her: It deffinately was! It had the guy with the oval head that's bald in the middle!
Me: You can't see their hair in South Park... They wear hats. Always.
Her: No! It's the one that was the little kid that was like "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy"
Me: LMAO that's definitely Family Guy.

 

dump her asap, but leave your seed

 

+1

I did that to a couple girls, ha ha. But I spread my seed in her vagina, in her mouth, in her hair, on her chest and in her navel. TMI, yes, but I had to include it so this post would make sense.

 

Pics or it never happened and/or ban too.



By any chance any of you **** know where I can find a guide to replace the serpentine belt on a 2000 Caravan?

 

Watched Das Boot yesterday. That movie may hold the record for biggest kick-in-the-nuts ending of all time.