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-   -   A Tale of Two Fissures, A story of the world's strangest man and his colon (https://www.miataturbo.net/insert-bs-here-4/tale-two-fissures-story-worlds-strangest-man-his-colon-65391/)

y8s 05-01-2012 05:05 PM

youtube.


edit: urtube.

Miater 05-01-2012 05:39 PM

I poop once, maybe twice a day, maybe. One 2.5-3.5 lb crap every morning. Has been the same for years now. If its slow at the office ill get one in there if applicable(paid). Always solid always 45mins of, reading... No quicky craps, sit it out till shes as empty as Fae inside.

Are you sure the tear was there before you were drugged, dragged into an "examination room" had your lunch pushed up, given a numbing cream and told to come back for more?

Good to hear your back on the Clevland Steamer team.

hustler 05-01-2012 06:11 PM

I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.

Faeflora 05-02-2012 12:43 AM


Originally Posted by hustler (Post 872536)
I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.

Not funny because it is true.

This forum has very unusual threads

hustler 05-02-2012 12:58 AM


Originally Posted by Faeflora (Post 872616)
Not funny because it is true.

This forum has very unusual threads

Lol, I love it.

18psi 05-02-2012 01:26 AM

enema party

at hustlers

fae please bring the funnel you borrowed from me

hustler 05-02-2012 08:18 AM


Originally Posted by 18psi (Post 872642)
enema party

at hustlers

fae please bring the funnel you borrowed from me

Garden hose enema > funnel-job.

Faeflora 05-02-2012 03:27 PM

Pics of purported tear please

petrolmed 05-03-2012 12:30 AM

LS swap... and then go locost. Or just buy a v8 caterham.

I imagine this would help clean you out


shuiend 05-05-2012 09:33 AM


Originally Posted by hustler (Post 872536)
I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.

It has been 4 days now, have you moved up to but plugs and ---- beads instead of your finger?

hustler 05-05-2012 09:52 AM


Originally Posted by shuiend (Post 873935)
It has been 4 days now, have you moved up to but plugs and ---- beads instead of your finger?

I have not because I had too large of a turd yesterday morning and opened-up the fissure again.

hustler 05-16-2012 12:40 AM

Bros,
I just had a serious, triumph. For the past few months, each BM/mud-dump has been a stressful, scary process. There was always blood, now that I know what was going on I could feel my anus tearing with each stool, and since about 4/15 I've either panted like a dog from the pain, sweat, or basically cried after pooping. I think the low point was throwing my pants in the corner of the stall at work, grabbing onto the handicap rails, and lemans-style breathing while I dropped mud down from the pain and horror of it all. Then, there were the constipation weeks where I was so afraid to go to the bathroom that I didn't and pooped once every 3-5 days. It was so bad that I was literally running lidocane jelly in my ------- prior to pooping.

Well, I ate too much today and I had to poopey twice. It wasn't bad this morning, it still hurt a little, but there was no blood, not even when wiping. Well, I just went again for the second time today, and dropped deuce with no blood and relatively low pain. It still requires concentration and focus to relax my ---- sphincter, which is difficult when passing a painful turd, but this is really promising. I'm healing, and this is good.

The moral of the story is to never, ever let a hard turd get the best of your anus. Keep your stool soft and your anus relaxed.

xoxo,
Jehova of Ethiopia

chpmnsws6 05-16-2012 01:49 AM

Good to hear. Keep things light, no corn or nuts...... especially sunflower seeds. One sunflower seed coming out sideways = starting over.

viperormiata 05-16-2012 02:01 AM

What foods are you eating during recovery?

Savington 05-16-2012 02:53 AM

This thread, I don't even know what the ----.

hustler 05-16-2012 07:59 AM


Originally Posted by Savington (Post 878160)
I was born in the 90s

We know.

leatherface24 05-16-2012 09:29 AM

I vote this becomes a poop pic taking thread now to show the triumphs of healthy bowels. Unhealthy rectum birthing pics should be taken so people such as yourself Trey wont have to worry when the painful bloody stool comes along. This and I also have a massive poop fetish

vehicular 05-16-2012 10:48 AM


Originally Posted by leatherface24 (Post 878211)
I vote this becomes a poop pic taking thread now to show the triumphs of healthy bowels. Unhealthy rectum birthing pics should be taken so people such as yourself Trey wont have to worry when the painful bloody stool comes along. This and I also have a massive poop fetish

No one wins this game.

Joe Perez 05-16-2012 11:17 AM

Do some folks around here just not get the concept of ensuring that you have adequate fiber in your diet?

leatherface24 05-16-2012 11:30 AM

Hustlers issue was not a lack of fiber as much as it was an all out Rectal Armageddon


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