A Tale of Two Fissures, A story of the world's strangest man and his colon - Page 7 - Miata Turbo Forum - Boost cars, acquire cats.

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Old 05-01-2012, 06:05 PM   #121
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youtube.


edit: urtube.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:39 PM   #122
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I poop once, maybe twice a day, maybe. One 2.5-3.5 lb crap every morning. Has been the same for years now. If its slow at the office ill get one in there if applicable(paid). Always solid always 45mins of, reading... No quicky craps, sit it out till shes as empty as Fae inside.

Are you sure the tear was there before you were drugged, dragged into an "examination room" had your lunch pushed up, given a numbing cream and told to come back for more?

Good to hear your back on the Clevland Steamer team.
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:11 PM   #123
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I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:43 AM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hustler View Post
I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.
Not funny because it is true.

This forum has very unusual threads
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:58 AM   #125
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Not funny because it is true.

This forum has very unusual threads
Lol, I love it.
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Old 05-02-2012, 02:26 AM   #126
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enema party

at hustlers

fae please bring the funnel you borrowed from me
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:18 AM   #127
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enema party

at hustlers

fae please bring the funnel you borrowed from me
Garden hose enema > funnel-job.
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Old 05-02-2012, 04:27 PM   #128
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Pics of purported tear please
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Old 05-03-2012, 01:30 AM   #129
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LS swap... and then go locost. Or just buy a v8 caterham.

I imagine this would help clean you out

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Old 05-05-2012, 10:33 AM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hustler View Post
I'm still not on the team, but I am getting really good at finger-banging my own anus. Before, I was very uncomfortable and couldn't find the hole, not I just slam in my finger and climax. I have to go quick though because I'm using a compound ointment with lidocane.
It has been 4 days now, have you moved up to but plugs and ---- beads instead of your finger?
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Old 05-05-2012, 10:52 AM   #131
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It has been 4 days now, have you moved up to but plugs and ---- beads instead of your finger?
I have not because I had too large of a turd yesterday morning and opened-up the fissure again.
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Old 05-16-2012, 01:40 AM   #132
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Bros,
I just had a serious, triumph. For the past few months, each BM/mud-dump has been a stressful, scary process. There was always blood, now that I know what was going on I could feel my anus tearing with each stool, and since about 4/15 I've either panted like a dog from the pain, sweat, or basically cried after pooping. I think the low point was throwing my pants in the corner of the stall at work, grabbing onto the handicap rails, and lemans-style breathing while I dropped mud down from the pain and horror of it all. Then, there were the constipation weeks where I was so afraid to go to the bathroom that I didn't and pooped once every 3-5 days. It was so bad that I was literally running lidocane jelly in my ------- prior to pooping.

Well, I ate too much today and I had to poopey twice. It wasn't bad this morning, it still hurt a little, but there was no blood, not even when wiping. Well, I just went again for the second time today, and dropped deuce with no blood and relatively low pain. It still requires concentration and focus to relax my ---- sphincter, which is difficult when passing a painful turd, but this is really promising. I'm healing, and this is good.

The moral of the story is to never, ever let a hard turd get the best of your anus. Keep your stool soft and your anus relaxed.

xoxo,
Jehova of Ethiopia
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Old 05-16-2012, 02:49 AM   #133
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Good to hear. Keep things light, no corn or nuts...... especially sunflower seeds. One sunflower seed coming out sideways = starting over.
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Old 05-16-2012, 03:01 AM   #134
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What foods are you eating during recovery?
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Old 05-16-2012, 03:53 AM   #135
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This thread, I don't even know what the ----.
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Old 05-16-2012, 08:59 AM   #136
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I was born in the 90s
We know.
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Old 05-16-2012, 10:29 AM   #137
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I vote this becomes a poop pic taking thread now to show the triumphs of healthy bowels. Unhealthy rectum birthing pics should be taken so people such as yourself Trey wont have to worry when the painful bloody stool comes along. This and I also have a massive poop fetish
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Old 05-16-2012, 11:48 AM   #138
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I vote this becomes a poop pic taking thread now to show the triumphs of healthy bowels. Unhealthy rectum birthing pics should be taken so people such as yourself Trey wont have to worry when the painful bloody stool comes along. This and I also have a massive poop fetish
No one wins this game.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:17 PM   #139
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Do some folks around here just not get the concept of ensuring that you have adequate fiber in your diet?
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:30 PM   #140
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Hustlers issue was not a lack of fiber as much as it was an all out Rectal Armageddon
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