A Tale of Two Fissures, A story of the world's strangest man and his colon - Page 5 - Miata Turbo Forum - Boost cars, acquire cats.

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Old 04-25-2012, 10:29 PM   #81
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Prune Juice works.

I dont normally have trouble pooping but after I broke my neck I laid in bed for a week pumped so full of morphine, I kept requesting bbq flavored saleen. They gave me laxatives and stool softeners. Still couldnt crap for like a week. I got me a bottle of prune juice. Drank a lil bit. Nothing. Chugged half the bottle, and within 5 minutes I was on the crapper and didnt move for over a half hour. Read through 2 car and drivers
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:08 PM   #82
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If it floats and smells worse than ----, it steatorrhea, thats your receipt for excess fat intake (about pcs and whatnot)

Hustler - Supplementing iron?
No supplements, I also drink over 1 gallon of water per day.

I have a date with a doctor tomorrow, I'm horrified. I'm not ready for life with a colostomy bag.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:11 PM   #83
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I've needed to put down mud for two days, it feels like I need to go, but nothing comes out. I'm also comically bloated, lol. This is bad. I also slammed half a cup of olive oil last night.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:43 PM   #84
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Think it's time for a laxative?
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:58 PM   #85
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:24 AM   #86
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Oh please god NO!!
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:55 AM   #87
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Think it's time for a laxative?
Finally, the olive oil came through with slimy poop. 6lb of poop actually, lol. It never stopped. It also hurt like hell.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:05 AM   #88
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You weigh your poop?

When you do get old, you will be like one of the geriatric patients I had-
She took 10-15 laxatives a day, olive oil, and a few other things. Hole 2 looked as tore up as hole 1. I guess she came in with dead bowel because it quit working on its own.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:39 AM   #89
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You weigh your poop?

When you do get old, you will be like one of the geriatric patients I had-
She took 10-15 laxatives a day, olive oil, and a few other things. Hole 2 looked as tore up as hole 1. I guess she came in with dead bowel because it quit working on its own.
Stand on scale, poop, stand on scale, do math.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:43 AM   #90
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Now go eat things with probiotics. Yogurt with active cultures, etc.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:45 AM   #91
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It sounds like 2 pounds of that could have been perspiration.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:48 AM   #92
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Now go eat things with probiotics. Yogurt with active cultures, etc.
I eat ~1 cup of Fage Greek yogurt every day.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:49 AM   #93
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It sounds like 2 pounds of that could have been perspiration.
Pooping isn't super painful, its just not fun and never lay cable anymore. Ever watch Deadliest catch and see how the block works and how the deckhands spool up the cable? Before all this I had to guide the poop into the cable shape around the bowl.
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:06 PM   #94
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Under more stress then normal? Any other changes in life? 18psi finally successfully breed you?
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:11 PM   #95
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Under more stress then normal? Any other changes in life? 18psi finally successfully breed you?
no; no; yes.
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:28 PM   #96
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i have issues...
nsfw
warning
pics of poop

http://i.imgur.com/n0JxE.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/7bhSO.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/hrPns.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/HPMfW.jpg

those were my last four *****
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Old 04-27-2012, 04:02 PM   #97
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In for proctologist-induced boner.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:30 PM   #98
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Well, looks like the next step is a colonoscopy in two weeks. ----!

Anyone have a GoPro and a string?
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:14 PM   #99
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Well, looks like the next step is a colonoscopy in two weeks. ----!

Anyone have a GoPro and a string?
I thought you owned a boreoscope?
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Old 04-27-2012, 08:11 PM   #100
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Well, looks like the next step is a colonoscopy in two weeks. ----!

i chose the lemon-lime flavored crap-juice. i still struggle to drink sprite to this day. i recommend a better flavor, maybe orange.
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