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Old 04-21-2010, 09:11 AM   #21
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2 cups of coffee at 6 am. Dump at 6:30. Like clockwork. Try a salad once in a while!

*** Doctors. I think I watched a porno with that title.

Frank
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Old 04-21-2010, 09:38 AM   #22
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I dump after lunch every day. Good way to eat up 30min on the clock surfing the intarwebz on the BB while on the john.
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:00 AM   #23
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I have 2-glorious ***** per day. I eat tons and tons of olive oil, eat 2-cups of granola per day, 4 fish oil caps, and drink one gallon of water per day. Olive oil is magical.
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:02 AM   #24
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WTF, How do you kill time at work then when your bored?
I'm in the Army, I don't need to **** to kill time.
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Old 04-21-2010, 11:20 AM   #25
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I'm with hustler, I have two awesome movements a day. You guys that only poop once a week are scaring me...
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Old 04-21-2010, 11:22 AM   #26
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I hope to return to glory ***** in a few days now that I have stopped this evil yogurt nonsense. Used to be once, if not twice daily. Maybe 3 times if I had eaten a lot. Felt good, bro.
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Old 04-21-2010, 12:00 PM   #27
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I already **** twice today and it's 10am, I am shooting for atleast 5 mudslides today.
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Old 04-21-2010, 01:29 PM   #28
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my weekday **** schedule is:

8:30am pre-shower dump
2-4pm afternoon dump (sometimes skipped but not on gym days!) this is a window, not a duration.
11:30pm pre-sleep dump

on weekends it's a little different.

dump on wake
then the inevitable post coffee dump at 10 or 10:30 (this is often "unholy")
then maybe an afternooner if I'm going out
and of course
pre bedtime dump

I can NOT imagine wtf would happen to me if I didn't **** for a week. it bugs me to keep it to once a day when I'm not around proper facilities.

ps: +1 on smart phone dumps.
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Old 04-21-2010, 01:38 PM   #29
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I always drink a few beers and it takes care of it for me.

I usually go every couple of days.
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Old 04-21-2010, 01:43 PM   #30
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Yes smartphone dumps are amazing
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Old 04-21-2010, 01:45 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by y8s View Post
2-4pm afternoon dump - this is a window, not a duration.
I got a good laugh.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:05 PM   #32
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+1 on the two cup of coffee dump in the morning. Coffee works well. Lay off the dairy/yogurt/cheese a bit. Too much of that will clog anybody's drain.

Eat fibrous stone fruits like mangoes, nectarines, plums, apricots, and peaches. There is a reason that prunes are recommended by doctors for constipation issues. Buy the little ziplock bags of prunes or dried apricots at the convenience store, drugstore, or grocery and eat a bag. Guaranteed shitstorm within three hours.

Avoid bread, meats, and grease in your diet. Olive oil is good. Meat oil is bad. Eat salads with clear dressings and no meat or cheese. Iceberg lettuce is not as good for you as spinach in a salad. Remember, dairy clogs you.

Avoid harsh laxatives when possible because they cause other health issues. (You obviously needed them)

One dump a day is the desired norm according to the doctor my father talked to a while back. (Yes Regis, I used a lifeline and called a friend)
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:09 PM   #33
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Avoid bread, meats, and grease in your diet. Olive oil is good. Meat oil is bad.
I'd rather be "constipated" than not enjoy life, seriously, no bread meat or grease? What the hell do you eat?
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:12 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by KPLAFIN View Post
I'd rather be "constipated" than not enjoy life, seriously, no bread meat or grease? What the hell do you eat?

Agreed.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:14 PM   #35
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Agreed.
Must be a VA thing.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:18 PM   #36
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:19 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by KPLAFIN View Post
I'd rather be "constipated" than not enjoy life, seriously, no bread meat or grease? What the hell do you eat?
YOu can't enjoy life while constipated.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:29 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy View Post
YOu can't enjoy life while constipated.
By your definition, apparently I can, been living life to the fullest taking a crap or maybe two a week my whole life thank you very much.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:38 PM   #39
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By your definition, apparently I can, been living life to the fullest taking a crap or maybe two a week my whole life thank you very much.
3 times a week is defined by most doctors to be, but just barely. I'm talking about like I am, not being able to for a full week, and only then with heavy laxatives.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:43 PM   #40
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Quote:
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I'd rather be "constipated" than not enjoy life, seriously, no bread meat or grease? What the hell do you eat?
This is specific advice for him to solve his dietetic problem.

I do eat them, but I try to avoid eating too much of them. I eat cold cereal or oatmeal for breakfast. Both get extra raisins. Sometimes I make a ham and egg english muffin. At least three days a week I'll eat salad for lunch. Other days I'll have Thai food or pasta or a sandwich. No burgers ever. No fried chicken, grilled only, that includes chicken fingers and wings. No french fries or potato chips ever. No chips or Doritos ever because they are insanely high in fat. The only thing on that aisle to eat is pretzels. For dinner I try to eat nothing. Lately (6 mos.) I had failed at willpower and put on some weight but now I am back on the regimen. I drink lots of water throughout the day and avoid sugary drinks and juices to avoid sharp rises and the corresponding falls in my blood sugar that might trigger a hunger response. My problem is that when I do eat, I eat like I'm worried I won't ever get another meal. I always eat everything placed before me. If I drink a lot of water then I will feel full faster and not want to eat as much. Sometimes the trick is just to order less food initially and force myself to wait until I am satiated instead of ordering more. If you eat too quickly you will eat more before you feel full than if you eat slowly, but I always eat quickly.

I am also going to try to drink more Beefeater Gin and sometimes Bourbon to try to lay off the heavy beer a little bit, but that is something else entirely.

**** more often. It will make you run faster.
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