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Old 05-03-2010, 11:35 AM   #181
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best mt.net thread of 2010! i can't believe i have never seen this before. really epic poop thread. on pooping 3 times a week or less, that seems gross. i would be (more) full of **** if that was the case. i didn't poop for 2 days the last track weekend and i was going crazy. i didn't understand how i could eat so much and drink so much and have nothing come out. i bet i gained 6lbs. when i finally pooped on sunday it was glorious and spiritually and literally enlightening. i went out and ran 1.5 seconds faster after the movement. later that day i went again to get caught up on pooping. it was awesome. i poop everyday. i have a friend that poops every meal cuz he's so fat. he eats soo much that everytime he eats, he has to poop within 15 minutes cuz there isn't any room to spare. he aslo thinks that he needs to eat until he's full, soo full that he can't eat another bite. and then he goes into a food induced coma while his body gets to work trying to do something with the 6k calories he just took in. and he starts sweating about half way into his meal whether the food is spicy or not. is that bad? well i guess that's another story. not trying to thread jack. i've only gotten a few pages into this so far. i still have plenty of good reading ahead! lol

all this talk of poop has me reaching for my new grm. brb.
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Old 05-03-2010, 12:26 PM   #182
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Bout to pick me up a big cup while on my way to take a final.
sure you dont want to wait til after?
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:32 PM   #183
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sure you dont want to wait til after?
I could feel it working by the time I got there, and had to sit through the final for nearly 2 hours, but it wasn't too bad. Got home and let out a single log, and that was it. I kind of feel like maybe I will drop another soon. So it did work to some extent.
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Old 05-04-2010, 04:06 AM   #184
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Am I the only one with a bidet?
Much reduced toilet paper use, it's gentler on the posterior, and reduces skid marks.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:27 AM   #185
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Am I the only one with a bidet?
Much reduced toilet paper use, it's gentler on the posterior, and reduces skid marks.
Well, first of all, someone who read that is asking themselves, "whats a bidette?"

lol. I had to read it again, myself. I wish i had one.
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Old 05-04-2010, 02:40 PM   #186
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Am I the only one with a bidet?
Much reduced toilet paper use, it's gentler on the posterior, and reduces skid marks.
I have one... it's called a shower. I play like I'm in prison and grab my ankles.
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Old 05-04-2010, 02:48 PM   #187
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that's disgusting.
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Old 05-04-2010, 03:03 PM   #188
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Browse MT.net while pooping. Also make awkward phone calls.
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Old 05-04-2010, 03:08 PM   #189
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Browse MT.net while pooping. Also make awkward phone calls.
That's awesome! A setup like that would crack me up.
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Old 05-05-2010, 09:36 AM   #190
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Maybe this thread should be a sticky, or is that "stinky"? As for toilets, I just redid my upstairs bathroom and put in a Kohler Cimarron. Awesome toilet with a power flush. No more rimmers that go round and round and never down. This thing is like a trap door. No double flushes yet, and that includes a few hangover mega paper dumps.

Gotta go. Brown-cappin' after my morning coffee.

Frank
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Old 05-05-2010, 10:45 AM   #191
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Speaking of toilets, I was supposed to pull mine up last weekend to clean it, I think I have some calcium deposits in the trap area, and it's flushing pretty weak. I guess I will get it Friday. New wax ring and a few hours of labor to get it all clean, not too bad of a job to not have to plunge every other time.
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Old 05-05-2010, 12:04 PM   #192
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy View Post
I could feel it working by the time I got there, and had to sit through the final for nearly 2 hours, but it wasn't too bad. Got home and let out a single log, and that was it. I kind of feel like maybe I will drop another soon. So it did work to some extent.
Have you tried a Fleet Enima? You ram some salt water up the pipe, it breaks up the poo, it flows out. Worked wonders for a friend of mine that was always having trouble. She went 9 days then tried the Fleet, 20 min later...poop.

I literally can't poop unless I have something to read. Mine are random, 3 a day, 1 a day, skip a day, hard, soft, wet, I never know what I'm going to get.
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Old 05-05-2010, 12:06 PM   #193
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Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.
lul
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Old 05-05-2010, 01:24 PM   #194
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lul
It's like Cheers. I know them all so well.
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Old 05-05-2010, 03:32 PM   #195
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Maybe this thread should be a sticky, or is that "stinky"? As for toilets, I just redid my upstairs bathroom and put in a Kohler Cimarron.
I hope it's nothing like a Cadillac Cimarron...
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Old 05-05-2010, 03:39 PM   #196
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As for toilets, I just redid my upstairs bathroom and put in a Kohler Cimarron.
That's the 1.6 version, right? (really is 1.6 GPF) I'd like 1.8 just to give it a little more power.

I wonder if caffeine in tea is anything nearly as effective as coffee. I used to drink a lot of tea, but haven't lately. Starting again just to get a little caffeine outside of my daily quick mart coffee.
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Old 05-05-2010, 04:20 PM   #197
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The poop list made me lawl...

On another note, I've hit a rhythm... ~10AM every morning. It's good to be regular so I can plan accordingly.
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Old 05-05-2010, 04:38 PM   #198
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i hate those poops that come out sideways. ow.
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Old 05-05-2010, 04:44 PM   #199
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I'm finally getting regular in my new place.. although when I start work again it's going to have to adjust again.. I need a routine.
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:05 PM   #200
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i hate those poops that come out sideways. ow.
C section?
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