if you're that worried, just lay down a few layers of TP and sit on the floor...

 

Except in a lot of countries a rubber hose sticking out of the wall replaces the TP. Malaysian toliets are scary on a whole new level. I was there for about a month and never shat in a public toilet. Most of them looked like that toilet in Trainspotting.

 

That's why you have to perfect the "hover" and carry your own wipe.

 

I honestly don't know how I feel about the rubber hose setup...

 

Damn. My scale is all kinds of off. Apparently I'm 174lb clothed, not ~164. Doctor said it was for sure a hernia, but didn't think it was too major. Said I could probably live the rest of my life and not have any problems out of it as long as I don't act stupid and try lifting some of the stuff I used to. I don't work in a physically demanding field anymore, so I'm going to think about it for a while. In the mean time, he said to stock up on laxatives, and get on a low dose regimen of milk of magnesia until it cures it, and then stay on it. I have to set up an appointment to see a surgeon soon, and learn more from him. I'll probably end up having it fixed though, while it's small and not a problem for me. It's basically a ticking time bomb though. He said if I were to go to Africa or South America, or somewhere like that and have it pop out and get incarcerated, my chances of survival would be something like 25%, but as long as I stay in the modern, civilized world I would be OK if something was to happen with it.

 

are hernias illegal in africa and south america??

 

Yep, they shoot on site.

I would just love to be cut open on a table somewhere in Africa with flies buzzing all around, non sterile tools and aids flowing like water.

 

Yay AIDS! Since 85.5% of people on this board are ghey, you should be right at home on a table in Africa.

 

+1 on needing a better toilet here. Mine's a normal everyday suburban bowl, and damn, EVERY TIME it gets clogged. Part of it is due to the diameter of the hole, and possibly the flushing power, but I swear to god almost every time my turd lays flat parallel across the hole, and when flushed, it breaks in the middle and forms a V going in and then gets stuck. My whole family thinks I am weird for having to plunge the toilet whenever I drop a load. God help me when I find a girl and get married, I don't know how all you manage.

My plan is to turbojet the toilet. You know, like how they have them on planes and ****. Flushing power scares me on those however - reminds me of the scene in Tommy Boy where they are changing on the plane and Tommy's tie gets him sucked into the toilet. Kind of like a bad nightmare.

 

I know this is the poop thread. Bit have you ever peed (that's a real word) in the middle of nowhere at 4 in the morning. It's baller.

Actually the fourth meal got me fucked up. I feel the type 7 coming. Then a zzzzzzz zzzzz.

 

Everytime I go back home I clog the toilet every freaking time. So annoying. Seriously I'm not sure who wouldn't clog that thing. The "hole" is tiny and the flow is definetly lacking.

I'm use to the military toilets here in the barracks. Those things will take you down with your **** if you aren't careful.

For those of you who have taken a combat ****, you know that is probably the most uncomfortable, rushed **** you could possibly ever take...

 

OMFG. **** Dulcolax! Took two, less than maximum recommended dose at about 3am when I went to bed, at 6am I was awakened by the worst abdominal cramps I have ever had in my life. For the next ~4 hours I was on and off the toilet shitting my ******* guts out in nearly agonizing pain. I would say the pain rivaled kidney stones, just not as long lasting. It works as advertised, just too damn well. The last pound was stuff I just ate last night. Salad was still recognizable by the fresh looking carrots, leafs of lettuce, mushrooms and speckles of herbs and spices. Just woke up and it seems like it was a bad dream. Still feel a bit weird, but not too bad. At least I'm pretty confident I am cleaned out now. Just a warning, some may have as bad of luck with it as I did if they ever need something for constipation.

 

um dude a combat **** usualy ends up staying in your pants until you can clean it out imo. cause in combat with **** blowing up and bullets flying at you the last thing you wanna do is drop on your haunches to poop.

 

Ahh, yes. A modern, gentle laxative. Seriously, reading back I should have said two dozen prunes a day. You won't need any of those harsh chemicals. And you are laying off the dairy, right?

To answer an earlier post: Iron supplements are often taken by women because they get anemic from trying to bleed to death every month. Iron supplements make you constipated, hence certain laxatives are commonly used regularly by women.

 

I figured since I had been using saline laxatives, which are gentle and let gravity do the work, I would try a more "active" laxative. It was active alright. Still feel like ****. About to go restock the old stomach, since I'm pretty sure my body is all but empty, besides a gatorade and a few grilled peppers. I think baked potatoes are on the menu for tonight. Something light, followed by some prunes for a snack.

 

Beer *****.

Discuss. This thread can't die.

 

Beer ***** are best forgotten.

 

^ This.... However, I typically feel better afterwards.

 

Just **** that hangover right out. One fiery maelstrom and you can get on with your day.

 

Maybe alcohol will help my problem where everything else has failed. I'm pretty confident I'm stuck like this until my operation. It's been weeks and it's pretty much not improving at all. I don't feel nearly as bad now though that I have cut my consumption down even farther, and have been able to force out a little.

I have a half of a 5th (10th, lolz) of Jager in my freezer that I need to get rid of anyway. Make some hot Jager *****, make some barely cooked spicy chicken to add to the heat. Maybe that will just flow forth.