That just sounds like a bad idea to me... Just saying.

 

Jager never helped me, and I **** a lot easier than you do. Avoid those potatoes and other starches if you are still having problems.

Baked sweet potatoes are really good for getting regular, too.

 

Those "regular" foods just aren't going to help. Not that alcohol would either, just a bad excuse for me to get rid of the Jager. This is going to suck *** though, I'm going to have to wait till July for surgery. So until then it's laxatives, unless it fixes itself out of the blue over the next few weeks. I doubt it though since it's already been so long. I think the issue is something to do with the "pressure" loss because of the opening in my abdominal wall. When I strain to push the **** out, the pressure is just forcing out of the hernia. So unless the **** is pure liquid and just flow out, I can't create enough pressure to move it along, out the correct hole. It's just RIGHT there, but I have nothing to push against. Kind of like how a tiny leak in an intake will create huge or total boost pressure loss.

 

Maybe this shitting thing was overrated. I am going a little on my own now, but it's acidic, hot mud butt, and wiping requires half a goddamn roll of paper (the non recyclable kind). Damn you hot sauce!!! My last 4-5 nights meals have consisted of hot sauce in it in some way (chili, spicy chicken, and tonight some kind of spicy chicken burrito things). I'm sure hitting the Jager isn't helping the matter much.

 

I have drumsticks, magazines, and video games in my bathroom. I don't leave until I **** and I'm entertained yO.

 

I've found that my body tends to put my poops conveniently during times when I'm bored at work. Some kinda psychosomatic thing. Try to concentrate really hard on wasting 15 minutes of company time and maybe your bowels will oblige.

 

 

the spicy food will often spice you up at both ends.

also: that could have been half a free roll, but you're too proud...

 

I'm a morning pooper.

After my coffee I'm hitting the can like clockwork now. I used to be irregular but since adding a lot of whole wheat into my diet I am right as rain. Coffee really helps me too haha

 

 

Hmm, this is really proving to be an experience of enlightenment. While I am not certain, and some studies have proven otherwise, I think in my case caffeine (especially coffee) may be helpful to my bowel movements. Of course it is pretty well proven coffee makes you ****, anyone who drinks morning coffee can speak for that. It didn't occur to me until last night that caffeine in every form I can think of has been cut from my diet in the last ~2 months or so, since I have been on a diet; most importantly, the coffee. Coffee (and I think caffeine in general) is a stimulant, and is effective in improving peristalsis (the action like pushing toothpaste from the end of the tube, out the end) of the digestive system. Which is why it makes you ****. ANYWAY, yesterday was the first time in months I can think of that I had caffeine in soft drinks, and coffee. Last night I took the first "decent" **** without laxatives I have done since this mess began. So I think maybe it would be a good idea to further this test and reintroduce coffee into my daily routine and see if that at least helps me out.

 

I read this block of text whilest shitting, no joke

 

Coffee does nothing, it's all about the caffeine. It excites you, all of you. Your bowel is an involuntary muscle system, like breathing. The caffeine kick starts this system into gear in the morning after being fairly relaxed during the night, so it can really trigger a desire to do the #2.

Drink something caffeinated in the morning, laxatives, SSE, and see if you can get your gf/wife to shove a couple lubed fingers up there to fish out any impaction. a 25 cent glove and some ky jelly will save you the price of an ED visit and a nurse disimpacting your bowel.

 

Nothing impacted, just a stunned digestive system thanks to the hernia. Coffee itself does have an effect with the digestive system, especially the colon, since the effect is with both caffeinated and decaf coffee. At least the internet tells me so. Internet never told me wrong.

Not even really sure if "standard" constipation is really what to call it anymore. I'ts not that I have hard ****, it's just my system isn't pumping it out. It's like my body just forgot how to move it through the system. Only liquefying it with laxatives helps, to allow it to literally run out of me. So maybe stimulants in caffeine is what I need to really get my system back to an active state. If not that, it's simply the lack of a solid abdominal wall to hold pressure when I try and push it out. Instead of making positive pressure inside to push out the stuff, it's going out of the hole in my muscles and pooching up a bubble. Like trying to squeeze a balloon in your hand, and instead of crushing it down and increasing pressure, a little piece of the balloon comes out between your fingers.

 

I....I just.....

 

Don't knock it till you try it.

 

Yeah, Jesus Christ

 

+1 on this. A couple cups of coffee and I'm heading for the can too! I think I can feel a poop coming on right now, as a matter of fact. All I have to do now is pick some pooping music to get me in the mood.

 

http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...have-some-coff

coffee is FULL of fiber. as they say in the article: a 16oz cup of coffee (big mug) packs 20% of your daily fiber--about what's in a full apple.

not to mention the antioxidants in it...

 

Bout to pick me up a big cup while on my way to take a final.