Peas

 

Lies. Ive seen your **** before. Its fits in no category ive ever known. Looks like brown flegm, floating in olive oil and some other unknown substance. Extra terestrial bowl movements

 

Wow.

 

Either or, I swear I can drop a 20lb deuce and not lose a pound...defies all laws of physics.

 

Coffee in the AM, and a BM later in the morning. Daily occurance.

I work with a crazy russian dude, he swears by eating a fat chunk of butter will get you regular too. Prob works along the lines of the olive oil trick too.

 

I have a pre workout ****, and then once more that could come at any time during the day.

 

Glad I'm not the only one that ***** more than once per day...

 

I had sausage and sauerkraut for lunch and the gas its giving me now is telling me that i'm probably going to have a good number 4 in 2 to 3 hours.

Oh and I forgot to mention, OP, I get that way when I travel so I know how you feel. Probably why I hated being a consultant so much and quit...I couldn't ever take a dump.

 

I hope I don't jinx myself, but since about 3, I have been snacking on prunes (maybe 6 or 8 so far), have drank about 80oz of water, and have had about 4 or 5 bowls of split pea soup, and I swear I feel some rumbling and movement below. If I **** green Mt Everest I'm going to be ecstatic. Not sure if fiber and water works that fast, or if maybe it's another kind of rumbling. I might not be able to **** but I can still fart up a storm while on the toilet.

 

just dropped off my daily type 3 while reading this thread

good luck man

 

I request for there to be no toilet bowl pictures.

Mines ain't even on that chart.

 

Aww. Good thing you ruined the surprise. No point it posting them now...

 

Four pages with no pictures. I knew it was coming soon.

"Guys check it out! Activia works!" Followed an image of a massive dump.

 

inb4randymarsh

 

I finish 2 laps at the ring. Get up to flush the toilet. What the hell! Oh I ate fruit loops. You know what happens when you eat purple stuff.

 

why am i just seeing this thread now!


i dont really have a dump schedule, i just drop a deuce when ever my *** starts feeling like ***** about to come out of it. then i run to the thrown and blow that **** up.

speaking of ***** have you ever been sitting on the john and flatulate, at the same time a **** nugget flys out your *** like its a cannon ball.

one other thing i hate when taking a **** is when a turd come out my *** and plops in the bowl and water splashes up on my brown eye, that ****** sucks.

 

Last night was a false alarm, or I jinxed myself. One of the worst night actually, super bloated and gassy, but only a small hint of anything turdish.

 

I stand up to ****... is that weird?

 

 

i think im gonna go debate an amendment to my morning constitutional....

btw, anyone else use those moist cottonell wipey things to finish the clean-up? my wife got some a few months back, and i really like the way i feel after i clean up with those. i feel fresh all day... i told her i wouldnt use that stupid ****, but i do.