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Our local minor-league baseball team is named The Chicago Dogs.
The mascot is a squeeze-bottle of mustard.
In 2024, Heinz declared jihad against Chicago, installing free ketchup dispensers on the sidewalks outside of popular hot dog restaurants. (It was a brilliant marketing campaign.)
I see where reportedly the incoming administration will begin massive deportations on Tuesday, starting in Chicago. Joe, I hope you don't talk with an accent.
I see where reportedly the incoming administration will begin massive deportations on Tuesday, starting in Chicago. Joe, I hope you don't talk with an accent.
My friends describe me as the whitest Hispanic guy ever. I describe them as saltines.
In addition to mass deportations, the number of things which Trump is going to accomplish on his first day in office is monumentally impressive. In his own words:
1: “On Day One of the Trump presidency, I will restore the travel ban, suspend refugee admissions, stop the resettlement and keep the terrorists the hell out of our country.”
2: “On Day One of my new term in office, I will sign an executive order making clear to federal agencies that under the correct interpretation of the law, going forward, the future children of illegal aliens will not receive automatic U.S. citizenship.”
3: “If I’m president, I will have that war [Russia - Ukraine] settled in one day, 24 hours.”
4: "I will end the electric vehicle mandate on Day One.”
5: “On Day One, I will sign an executive order directing every federal agency to immediately remove every single burdensome regulation driving up the cost of goods. (...) Already, preparations are underway to slash massive numbers of job-killing regulations, eliminating 10 old regulations for every new one. You put a new regulation on, you have to get rid of 10."
6: “With the stroke of my pen, on Day One, we’re going to stop the transgender lunacy. I will sign executive orders to end child sexual mutilation, get transgender out of the military and out of our elementary schools and middle schools and high schools.”
7: "I am today announcing that I will create the EXTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE to collect our Tariffs, Duties, and all Revenue that come from Foreign sources. We will begin charging those that make money off of us with Trade, and they will start paying, FINALLY, their fair share. January 20, 2025, will be the birth date of the External Revenue Service."
8: “We’ll get the resignations of every single senior official who touched the Afghanistan calamity, to be on my desk at noon on Inauguration Day.”
9: “I will keep men out of women’s sports, 100%, immediately, first day.”
10: "I would fire him [Jack Smith] within two seconds. He’ll be one of the first things addressed."
11: "On day one, I will sign a new executive order to cut federal funding for any school pushing critical race theory"
12: ""Starting on day one of my new administration, we will end inflation and we will make America affordable again because the prices are too high."
It's pretty obvious that with the firestorm of changes happening in Washington this week, the wildfires in L.A. will be largely forgotton. This video shows what Karen Bass thinks of basic services in Los Angeles.
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